self actualization/ it's okay not to be all things

                                                                               image source

I get a weekly newsletter from Ali Edwards, the guru of all things scrapbooking. The newsletter is on Creativity and I love it. I save it for a quiet moment to read it entirely, to soak it all in.

Recently someone wrote a comment to her about the freedom she has found in realizing who she is and who she simply isn’t. She used the illustration of fashion.  This reader wrote of how she can admire fashion blogs, see a nice outfit on another person, but when it comes to her own wardrobe she neither enjoys the process of shopping or the daily task of picking out an outfit to wear for the day.

I read this comment and for some reason I felt ten times lighter. I might have even said an Amen. Her illustration fit me nicely. I, too, am not a lover of clothes or accessories. And that’s okay. I greatly appreciate a put together outfit on another. I can see it on others. And I love that others love clothes. I just happen to love sorting a junk drawer. We’re all quirky.

I am starting to realize the same may go for me and cooking. I loved Nancy's comment on Wednesday in her desire to write an "I hate to cookbook." Ha! For me, I love the idea of loving to cook. I adore cooking shows. I love the thought of preparing daily meals with happiness in my heart and pride in my culinary cuisine. But the real truth of the matter is that I don’t really love it. I can handle it, but my heart doesn’t skip a beat with excitement to get a meal on the table.

When I was a freshman in college my friend Heidi and I did a devotional by Donna Partow. I think it might have been geared at 50 year old women, but we loved it and used to make fun of Donna’s illustration in the book that making a casserole to bring a friend in need might not be your thing. Your thing might be in words of affirmation or offering to babysit. I think her point was that you don’t have to be all things to all people all the time. Heidi and I have made fun of this illustration by telling each other many times, “well, don't expect me to bring you a casserole, okay? It’s just not my gift.”

And guess what? It’s really not my gift!

But I’m starting to realize this is all okay. I have gifts in other areas. I don’t need to shine in the kitchen. Or in my ability to put a great outfit together. I just need to look presentable and fill the bellies of my family with something wholesome to eat.

It's good to recognize this I think. Better than fighting it the rest of my days. I'll just keep buying cardigans from Target and get fired up for crock pot week!

oh Patina.

98% of the time I feel like there is not one more thing I could ever need in this world. My needs are met. I have a lovely home, a sweet family, food in the fridge, good friends, loving neighbors...all the best things. There is not one more thing I could ever need.

And then Ivar and I walk into a store like Patina. And it turns out, there are like five hundred and thirty seven things that I still need. Like a journal for lists, the kelly rae couch, paper globes that make me so happy and a special book just for funny things my kids will say.

This store makes the line between "needs" and "wants" very, very hazy.

First Quarter Report Card for 'Kitchen Table'

Well, three months of 2012 are about to have passed us by. What on earth. I do not understand how time works, but it seems very fast lately.

I wanted to give a quick quarterly update on how my meal planning, table setting, home making and general attitude about suppertime have improved (or not improved). So here is my report card for Quarter One.

Name: Rebecca Ann Groves

Class Subject: One Little Word for the Year: Kitchen Table

Meal Planning Letter Grade: C+

Rebecca began strong in January and showed serious promise. All in the family noticed and wondered what switch had flipped. Comments were made by her husband like, “I love this. For real, why did it take 6 years to figure out meal planning and prep. You are making it look easy.” Unfortunately the train was derailed by the end of the month. Pregnancy sickness would be the biggest excuse, lots of traveling and lack of routine from week to week also took a toll.

Table Setting: B+

Rebecca has done a very nice job of providing some edible substance at the table each night. It might not be fancy, but this family breaks bread together. Or should I say, cuts frozen pizza together. And really enjoys a good waffle.

Home Making: B

Rebecca owes a lot to her husband Rory for keeping the dishes and laundry in circulation. She seems to run out of steam easily. However, Ivar is always superbly cared for and there is a lot of love and laughter in this home. She also got her Birthday thank you notes out in just one weeks time and is pretty good about keeping the house tidy and organized.

General Attitude about Suppertime: D-

Rebecca seems to resent Supper Time again. It seems to sneak up on her as if she is surprised that she is supposed to have a game plan by 5:15.

Action Steps for Rebecca:

Well here comes the good news! Rebecca found a crock pot cookbook she was about to give away. She started thumbing through the pages and it dawned on her. All of her best hours lately are before lunch. By 4:00 she’s sort of spent and supper feels overwhelming. So what if she made her meals after breakfast? What if she called the first week of April: CROCK POT WEEK!

Well, that’s the plan. And Rebecca is excited to see how this new plan of attack works. The idea of getting supper-in-motion during her son's morning nap seems to absolutely delight her. I think this might work.

End of Report Card.

We have to wait for Crock Pot week to begin on Monday because our grocery budget is depleted this month and I need to get creative with the food already in the house before I go out and buy my chuck roast, chicken and turkey chili ingredients.

But this is the new plan, for now. I am beginning Quarter Two with wind back in my Kitchen Table sails!

bonnets and mary janes

My sister and I spent some time on Saturday going through all of her 0-12 month girl clothes. She's ready to pass them along and just-in-case this baby is a girl, I am the new lucky owner of two huge bins of adorable bonnets, mary janes, tights, skirts, matching sweater and hat sets and all things sweet and wonderful and pink.

I came home and said to Rory, "Just a heads up. We'll be popping out babies like the Duggers until I have a girl I can put ruffle-butt tights on."

And he replied, "Just a heads up. You had then better figure out how to fund such a family through a TLC reality tv show."

school projects

When I was in 5th grade, we were assigned to make a model of something in Washington DC. I brought this assignment home and my mom got all excited, "a cherry blossom tree!" she said. "Washington DC is known for its cherry blossom trees. You should make one of those."

So, with her help, we popped popcorn, spray painted it pink out in the garage, hot glued it to a tree branch, and stuck the branch in a coffee can filled with rocks.

When I walked in to my classroom the next day, there were lots and lots of Washington Monuments. There was a clay Lincoln Memorial and one out of play dough. There was a Lego White House and another made out of cardboard and glue. There was a replica of The Mall and the Vietnam Memorial.

But there was only one Cherry Blossom Tree. Because only one girl had a mom as clever as Margaret Harrington.

I know we have a picture of this somewhere. I may have to spend my weekend digging through family photo albums to find it. Until then, I hope you are enjoying the real thing this spring. The tree pictured above is our neighbor's across the street. I think it's a magnolia and everytime I look out the window I think of the popcorn we glued to that tree branch.