oh Patina.

98% of the time I feel like there is not one more thing I could ever need in this world. My needs are met. I have a lovely home, a sweet family, food in the fridge, good friends, loving neighbors...all the best things. There is not one more thing I could ever need.

And then Ivar and I walk into a store like Patina. And it turns out, there are like five hundred and thirty seven things that I still need. Like a journal for lists, the kelly rae couch, paper globes that make me so happy and a special book just for funny things my kids will say.

This store makes the line between "needs" and "wants" very, very hazy.

First Quarter Report Card for 'Kitchen Table'

Well, three months of 2012 are about to have passed us by. What on earth. I do not understand how time works, but it seems very fast lately.

I wanted to give a quick quarterly update on how my meal planning, table setting, home making and general attitude about suppertime have improved (or not improved). So here is my report card for Quarter One.

Name: Rebecca Ann Groves

Class Subject: One Little Word for the Year: Kitchen Table

Meal Planning Letter Grade: C+

Rebecca began strong in January and showed serious promise. All in the family noticed and wondered what switch had flipped. Comments were made by her husband like, “I love this. For real, why did it take 6 years to figure out meal planning and prep. You are making it look easy.” Unfortunately the train was derailed by the end of the month. Pregnancy sickness would be the biggest excuse, lots of traveling and lack of routine from week to week also took a toll.

Table Setting: B+

Rebecca has done a very nice job of providing some edible substance at the table each night. It might not be fancy, but this family breaks bread together. Or should I say, cuts frozen pizza together. And really enjoys a good waffle.

Home Making: B

Rebecca owes a lot to her husband Rory for keeping the dishes and laundry in circulation. She seems to run out of steam easily. However, Ivar is always superbly cared for and there is a lot of love and laughter in this home. She also got her Birthday thank you notes out in just one weeks time and is pretty good about keeping the house tidy and organized.

General Attitude about Suppertime: D-

Rebecca seems to resent Supper Time again. It seems to sneak up on her as if she is surprised that she is supposed to have a game plan by 5:15.

Action Steps for Rebecca:

Well here comes the good news! Rebecca found a crock pot cookbook she was about to give away. She started thumbing through the pages and it dawned on her. All of her best hours lately are before lunch. By 4:00 she’s sort of spent and supper feels overwhelming. So what if she made her meals after breakfast? What if she called the first week of April: CROCK POT WEEK!

Well, that’s the plan. And Rebecca is excited to see how this new plan of attack works. The idea of getting supper-in-motion during her son's morning nap seems to absolutely delight her. I think this might work.

End of Report Card.

We have to wait for Crock Pot week to begin on Monday because our grocery budget is depleted this month and I need to get creative with the food already in the house before I go out and buy my chuck roast, chicken and turkey chili ingredients.

But this is the new plan, for now. I am beginning Quarter Two with wind back in my Kitchen Table sails!

bonnets and mary janes

My sister and I spent some time on Saturday going through all of her 0-12 month girl clothes. She's ready to pass them along and just-in-case this baby is a girl, I am the new lucky owner of two huge bins of adorable bonnets, mary janes, tights, skirts, matching sweater and hat sets and all things sweet and wonderful and pink.

I came home and said to Rory, "Just a heads up. We'll be popping out babies like the Duggers until I have a girl I can put ruffle-butt tights on."

And he replied, "Just a heads up. You had then better figure out how to fund such a family through a TLC reality tv show."

school projects

When I was in 5th grade, we were assigned to make a model of something in Washington DC. I brought this assignment home and my mom got all excited, "a cherry blossom tree!" she said. "Washington DC is known for its cherry blossom trees. You should make one of those."

So, with her help, we popped popcorn, spray painted it pink out in the garage, hot glued it to a tree branch, and stuck the branch in a coffee can filled with rocks.

When I walked in to my classroom the next day, there were lots and lots of Washington Monuments. There was a clay Lincoln Memorial and one out of play dough. There was a Lego White House and another made out of cardboard and glue. There was a replica of The Mall and the Vietnam Memorial.

But there was only one Cherry Blossom Tree. Because only one girl had a mom as clever as Margaret Harrington.

I know we have a picture of this somewhere. I may have to spend my weekend digging through family photo albums to find it. Until then, I hope you are enjoying the real thing this spring. The tree pictured above is our neighbor's across the street. I think it's a magnolia and everytime I look out the window I think of the popcorn we glued to that tree branch.

my aunt jan

Do you remember when you first learned to wrap a hotdog? Oh you don’t? That’s funny. I totally do.

My mom taught me how to unfold a napkin, start the hotdog at one corner, roll the hotdog all the way to the opposite corner and then fold in the sides in order to fit it into the microwave. You know why I remember this so vividly? Because my mom was so proud of me and told me that I should be sure to show Aunt Jan that night when we were at her house for dinner. So in the midst of dinner preparation, I got out a napkin, a fat highlighter (playing the part of the hotdog) and told Aunt Jan the big news, while demonstrating my skills with the highlighter marker.

My Aunt Jan was very impressed.

This was pretty typical growing up. If something big happened in my life, big, like learning how to wrap a hotdog for the microwave, mom had me call Aunt Jan to tell her the news. I called often. If I moved up a chair in band, if I did well on a spelling test, if I had a funny story from my day…I was always told to “go call Aunt Jan.”

Aunt Jan is in her final stages of cancer. Ivar and I spent the morning with her admiring the art from her grandkids on her walls, throwing a ball up on the bed over and over, writing our conversation on notebooks back and forth. About two years ago Aunt Jan was diagnosed with cancer of the tongue and since then it has made its way into her esophagus, throat, lymph nodes and now everywhere it can. It’s mean. Cancer is so mean.

There is a real cruelty that my Aunt who bakes the best banana bars with cream cheese frosting can’t eat anything now. The woman who spent her career speaking up for the voiceless doesn’t have a voice.

But she wrote today of how these past weeks have been filled with all of the most important things: her husband, her sons, her grandkids, her sisters, her nieces and her very best friends. She has been working hard on writing life stories, and with the help of her sons and Uncle Don, she is going through all of the family slides and photographs. Her bedroom walls are covered with bright artwork from her grandkids and her window looks out over Lake Minnetonka. She wrote that the TV is never on, and her life is full of the very most important things. It made me aware of how much “filler” we pack into our days. Aunt Jan’s days are stripped down right now to the very most meaningful people and tasks. The things that actually matter.

Hardest is watching the people around her who love her so much. My mom is at her house as often as she can. I can’t fathom losing a sister. To share an entire lifetime of memories. Thousands of anecdotal stories could be written here, the little things that make sisters sisters. You can't really sum up those stories though.

My uncle Don works so hard to make sure the love of his life is comfortable. That breaks my heart too. He has been steadfast in his caregiving, faithfully serving his wife in every way imaginable, walking this road that neither one of them chose to travel.

I had a really nice visit. I left feeling glad that I have a sweet boy who can bring joy into a room. Glad that my mom is sharing so much precious time with her sister. And pretty overwhelmed by the whole thing. Sometimes mortality has a way of hitting me over the head. But I’m still having a hard time believing this is all actually playing out. It’s hard to wrap my head around it all. Hard to go there.