joy boy



Ivar discovered the buttons on the air purifier and then found the fan on the side. He does this daily...whips his head around in the breeze, letting his whisps of hair blow in the wind. He brings us so much laughter and happiness and joy.

best buddies

Rory works downstairs each day and there are many lunch breaks when he comes up and tells me how hard it is to stay down there when he hears us having so much fun upstairs. His office is right under the livingroom, so when we play chase and laugh and repeat words and are loud together, Rory can hear it. It's hard to hear the party, but still have to be the provider.

Today we switched roles. I have a sinus and ear infection and spent the whole day in bed. Rory worked upstairs with Ivar playing at his feet and then Ivar went down for his nap. At lunch Rory said he had completed everything he had to accomplish for the day so he was going to take Ivar for a walk to the library to return his books. They got all bundled and left with big smiles. And then they came home an hour later with bigger smiles. Rory said, "hey, I just am grabbing my phone. We're going to Target together!" And Ivar clapped and smiled and they two adventurers walked back out the door.

Ivar was tapping his dad's shoulder as they walked out to the garage. And even though I had a dreamy, quiet house and a warm bed to nap in, I couldn't help but feel left behind. These two boys have so much fun together. It warms my heart

Nebraska Friends!

So this is super fun and I just want to get the word out! Sara Groves and her band are coming to Elkhorn! Which is crazy! Because that's just down the road from where we lived in Gretna!

So mark your calendars and get your tickets!
It's this Friday night, MARCH 16, 2012

Elkhorn, NE
Bethany Lutheran Church
7:00pm (Doors 6 PM)
402-289-4440

www.bethanyelkhorn.org/saragroves

jayber crow

My sister-in-law, Sara, has been telling me about a book by Wendell Berry that she really wants me to read. She's been telling me about it since I worked with them, in 2003. It has been socially awkward at times to explain yet again that I haven't read it. Years of, "Becca, you have to read Jayber Crow!" can get a little uncomfortable when you can't really have an excuse that covers that amount of time. You can't say it's just been a real busy 9 years.

So I got the book. And from page one I have been sucked in. I adore the storytelling. I love the character. I love the pace, the lack of suspense, the sweetness of the tale.

Rory read it before me and had a lot of trouble getting into it, waiting for the plot to develop. And I had a cousin come over who said she couldn't get through it because the story just never started for her.

And it made me so curious about our different likes and dislikes in a good book. Because I was sold three sentences in. I remember thinking that actually. I loved the writing. I loved the tone. I loved the voice of the story.

All I want in a book is a good life story. I don't need drama. I don't need unknowns or a mystery to solve. I just like an honest, likable protagonist and will follow them anywhere if I like them that much.

It was interesting to note this about my style of reading material. I don't think I would have known to make this distinction before but it's true. Of my favorite books, I tend to fall for a sweet story, a noble life and a tight, endearing community surrounding that main character.

And you? What kind of book draws you in?

the gender of our baby-to-be

When the ultrasound technician came and got us from the lobby she asked, “and do you want to know the gender of the baby today?” And I replied a very honest, “Well, I want to know the gender. But we’re not going to find out. We’re going to wait and be surprised.”

This had been the plan since the very beginning. Ivar was a most joyous surprise and there isn’t really any reason why we have to know this news 20 weeks ahead of time. I guess we’re just old fashioned.

However. Waiting to find out with Ivar was way easier. This pregnancy I have been curious from day one. While holding my head over the toilet day after day, I had become quite certain there must be a little girl in there. This pregnancy has been so different from my pregnancy that brought a baby boy. But since then I have heard unending stories of mom’s who say they were positive they were having one gender and then had the other. Which means surely I’m having a boy.

And this has put be back at square one: turns out, I don’t have a clue if I’ve got a little girl in there, or a brother for Ivar.

But an amazing thing happened at the ultrasound. She squirted the warm jelly all over my tummy, and a baby showed up on the screen. And then she turned the camera to 3D (or is it 4D? It's the sepia looking picture with a very real flesh and bones baby on the screen) and I saw a tiny nose and lips, a whole face and a hand up on a forehead. I was looking at my baby.

I began to cry and couldn’t see the screen.

It was the exact same overwhelmingly joyous feeling I had when they lay Ivar on my chest and announced, “It’s a boy!” I swear to you no matter what I had just birthed, I loved deeper and more fully than I had known love before. They could have said, "It's a monkey!" and I would have felt the same joy.
Because that monkey was mine.

I saw that tiny face and the gender question became the silliest question in the world. I don’t know if it’s a girl or a boy…I just want that one. That one that is mine.

I cried after the appointment too. I think I was carrying more fear about the well being of this baby than I had realized. Plus, the whole experience made this pregnancy feel suddenly very real. I have been so distracted with this one. Life hasn’t stopped to process the change that is ahead. But as my heart gushed open when I saw that little face I think I started to comprehend that I have another child on the way who I will love just as fiercely as I love Ivar. That is a powerful thought unto itself.

Rory took me out for cream cheese puffs afterwards and I cried some more big tears in Leeann Chin as we talked about the reality of two kids, the excitement of siblings, and our growing family with all that is ahead. It all became very real today.