pink play dough

The more I need a nap, the more Ivar refuses to lay his head down. We fought over this one for quite some time this afternoon. I am in the middle of a head cold that makes my face weight 100 pounds. I really could have used a nice long nap, but Ivar wasn't feeling it. So we got back up after a very, very long battle of the wills.

Lucky for me, I had thought about making play dough as one of my projects this week. So I got out of bed, put Ivar in the living room with some toys and made some play dough.

For me.

I have thought about this a lot lately. How hard I work to be sure Ivar learns to play, interact, develop, keep his routine. And I've been wondering how I can ensure that I still make time to play, interact, develop and keep a routine. I decided that I need more just-mama play dates.

And I decided that I need more playtime for myself. Hence Heart-and-craft Week...and the pink play dough I made just for myself to knead, to roll out, to cut into hearts. I squished, pounded, rolled it into snakes, rolled it into balls, made it into pizzas and ice cream cones. And it felt so good to play. Only trouble is that now I have a hankerin for rolled sugar cookies in the shape of hearts. (Remember these beauties?) That might have to be added to the list for heart-and-craft week.

**Here's my mom's recipe for play dough. It makes silky, lovely play dough that is easier to clean up than the store-bought kind. I have come to find that people are very partial to their particular play dough recipe. Sort of like all the varieties of chili out there, usually you like your mom's the best. I swear by this stuff, but to each her own.

2 cups flour

1 cup salt

4 tsp. cream of tartar

2 cups water (with food coloring added to the water)

2 Tablespoons vegetable oil

In a saucepan mix flour, salt and cream of tartar.

Add colored water and oil.

Place over medium heat. Stir constantly for several minutes. (It gets heavy! It's hard to stir!)

It will begin to separate from the pan and become more dough-like and look like a lump of mashed potatoes.

Remove from heat and knead with hands. Store in an airtight container.

love rocks

I didn't blog very much last week. And that was mostly because two of the three projects I wrote about on Monday's post were sort of coming to a head. I think all of my creative juices were pouring into those two things.

But now that they're in a less demanding stage, I started thinking about fun things to do with my days ahead. This pregnancy has had me down in the dumps in many ways, creatively, physically, emotionally... But I just stepped into second trimester and with all my heart I am hoping for a new season ahead.

So I decided to be really proactive about this next trimester. I thought about what I could do that would feed my soul, bring me back to the Becca I enjoy. And I came up with two solutions. #1 Unplug the tv for a week. This feels extreme because the amount of television I watched during first trimester was extreme. But I have hit my limit of the barefoot contessa, throwdown with bobby flay, income property, designed to sell and house hunters international. (I am not, however, sick of The Bachelor. And this will be a sacrifice this week. I get more enjoyment out of that amoral show than should be allowed.)

The second plan of attack this week is to make something crafty each day. Super simple is key. Something that might even be done in under 20 minutes. This morning I got out the modge podge and made these love rocks. Ivar loved playing with my fabric scraps and the rocks, I loved using my fabric scissors again and I am hopeful that tiny, little, small projects might just be what is needed to get my normal back to normal.

So get ready for a week of hearts and pink and purple and scissors and glue. I'm excited to play!

our huge church turned tiny

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You know when you invite a friend to church how hard it is to sit back and enjoy the service? I have had this experience so many times, praying for a good sermon, wishing the special music was more special, critiquing how long the announcements drag on. When you bring a friend to church, you want momentum. You want everyone’s best foot forward. You want the spirit to show up.


When I was growing up we called an exceptionally powerful service “a real barn burner.” It doesn’t quite translate from sports because it’s not like it was “a close game” but more that it was “an exciting service.” If I thought Dad’s sermon was above average and if the choir sang something amazing and if the Spirit was felt I’d tell my dad, “Now that was a real barn burner this morning.”

You can feel it when everything comes together.

We had a real barn burner service at Cedar Valley this morning. The whole time I was wishing I had invited every single person I know.

The worship songs were powerful, the preaching was spot on and exactly what a sermon should be. But the thing that made this service come to life was that our huge church turned tiny for a few moments in the middle. It felt like an intimate family, all thousand plus of us gathered.

I don’t think I’ve written about this before, but we are in a life group with good friends Scott and Emily. Emily announced she was pregnant right about the time Ivar was born and sometime before Christmas last year they had their first ultrasound. It was discovered that their little baby boy had his heart, liver and most of his intestines growing on the outside of this body.

Prayers and tears and hope filled lots of conversations until we got a text one night in May that Emily was going into labor. Calvin was born almost full term and for 7 ½ months lived in the ICU as doctors tried to graft new skin, stretch existing skin, and make life possible before they were able to take him home with the help of 24 hour home healthcare.

This morning at church Calvin was dedicated.

It was the very first time Rory and I have seen him in person. With the risk of germs and disease, they are obviously quite strict about who can see him. But this morning we saw Calvin with his sweet cheeks and bright eyes. We saw a living, breathing miracle. His whole life is a testimony, with two parents who have faithfully prayed for their son and a church who has rallied behind them as they walk this unimaginable road.

Calvin was dedicated and then had to leave through the back door, back to his own car to his own home. Away from all of the coughs and colds that came along with us to worship.

Then the youth pastor came up and announced that he and his wife have taken a call to a new church in Mesa. This youth pastor is beloved at our church and this was a real blow. He and his wife cried as they made the announcement and thanked this church for being their home, thanked the senior pastor for being his spiritual mentor, thanked the pastor‘s wife for the love and care she has shown their family. It was heartfelt and left you grateful for a whole multitude of things, namely the gifts these two have shared with the church and that God continues to call and lead and direct all of our steps.

And finally, Pastor Roger then took the microphone after the youth pastor sat down and announced that he was diagnosed with cancer of the kidney this week and was asking for prayer. Pastor Jerry invited all who are in need of healing to come to the altar to be anointed with oil and for prayer. Almost 100 people stood up and walked forward. The woman in front of us stood, and suddenly I realized her wig. And how frail she was. And the sadness in her husband’s face. They walked forward and I wondered how it was that I had just greeted them before church and didn’t have the eyes to see any of that. But suddenly with the holiness that had entered our church, I could see.

These three moments, one after the other, were overwhelming. Baby Calvin, Youth Pastor Jesse and Pastor Roger all brought their broken-in-need-of-a-savior-selves before the church and the church in turn reflected all of our broken-and-in-need-of-a-savior-selves right back.

Only the Holy Spirit can bring that sort of vulnerable power into a room. Only Jesus can save all of us gathered. Only God can heal our brokenness and hurting hearts.

It was a real barn burner.

beautiful boundaries

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I was asked by my home congregation to lead five nights of confirmation, all centered on meeting God in creative journaling, free writing, art and imagination. It was the perfect invitation. I got super excited about it and 24 hours later called the youth director and said I couldn’t commit.

The next day I was asked to lead one morning of a women’s bible study at my current church. I was honored, got super excited, and in the end turned this invitation down too.

Around this same time I was asked to head up the decorations for a huge kids banquet at our church. I was thrilled at the thought. And then I said no.

Here’s the thing. I rarely say no. I’m a pretty obedient Yes Girl. But before these invitations arrived, I had mapped out three large projects I wanted to tackle in the new year. Projects that are often put on the back burner, but require some time and energy and I want to see them through.

So I said no to three incredible invitations. Even writing each of them out made my heart sink a little. They were hard to turn down.

All of those invitations came in November and December but now it is in January that I am feeling the relief of not having over committed. I’m not sure I’ve ever known this sweet feeling before. I’m so grateful for boundaries!

So this is just a post to remind you, it’s okay to say no. Even to good things. It’s important to still listen for where God is calling you, but sometimes I think God is calling you to still waters. And clearing my life a bit with some foresighted no’s in December has made for a really lovely January.

when did this happen?!!

Ivar is changing before my very eyes into the beginnings of a very little boy. I see it in his face and it catches me off guard. His teeth, his parroting words, his personal will, his happy dancing, his conversational babble, his joy...little signs of all that is to come, living life with this little guy.

I read two great pieces on motherhood recently and wanted to pass them along for a bit of weekend reading. The first went viral on facebook and you may very well have read it already.

It's called Don't Carpe Diem. It's got some good, honest stuff to say and I really appreciated what it had to say about kairos time versus chronos time. I think about this often now.

The second blog post I wanted to share is called This Big Sister's Advice. And it's sweet and tender and a good reminder of what this whole mamahood gig is all about.

Along those lines, on Tuesday I joined a mom's group at my church for Bible study. It was the best thing ever. I told Rory it felt like empowerment therapy. We shared a lot, but it wasn't a commiseration fest either. I left inspired, ready to live out my call as a mom with a second wind.

If you are a young mom and not a part of a mom's group of any sort, I beg you to start looking for something similar in your area. I know MOPS has a great reputation (your children don't have to be in preschool!). And I would hope most churches have something similar. It is so necessary. I am building friendships with ladies who are so easily able to relate, and there could be nothing better. So check out a local church, the MOPS website, community centers in your area...just find a group of girls and walk this road together.