be sure to look for our clothing line

My niece, Maddie, sent this on to us today...it's an email from Forever21 announcing their new line of clothing by designer Rory Beca. How crazy is that?!!

Weather Defender

Click here to read a great article on Rory's company. It's a good read.

before and after

Tada! Got a new look today. My mom came over and took the pictures (!!!) box dyed my hair and watched Ivar while I went to get the cut. Feels so, so good. Hope the before pictures made you laugh...

four months ago

Four months ago I met a happiness I had never known. He came in the form of a little boy, and he is absolute pure joy.

Dear Ivar,
You are four months today and growing bigger and bigger. I can’t get over how much you have learned lately. In the past two months you have gone from involuntary movements with your arms to sloppy attempts in reaching, to grabbing with confidence and success. I was so amazed at how quickly this progression occurred.

You make the funniest sounds. When we tickle your belly, you lift your legs to your chest and grunt a loud guttural grunt. When you are excited and proud you inhale a lot of air tightly in your throat and make a sort-of bull frog sound. You talk and babble all day long. And smile all the time. all. the. time. When your auntie Lisa babysat you on Saturday morning she texted us and wrote “ridiculously happy kid.” We loved getting that text.

Your sleep schedule is pretty great. We were trying to self-adjust your long stretch of sleep and just threw that plan out the window. You are good and letting us know what you need, and we’re taking your cues. Lately you will sleep for 10-12 hours, waking up only twice. We feel very, very fortunate. And way better rested.

You have decided to reject the pacifier. Bummer. But instead you enjoy trying to eat any part of your hand and we can hear you slirping and smacking in your crib long before you officially let us know you are awake each morning.

You can now roll over! Fully, on your own. For a while you had a pesky arm that held you up, but somehow that arm is no longer an obstacle. So with this new trick, gone are the days of laying you on the couch or the bed or the ottoman. If I am going to multitask then you have to be on the floor.

I had a friend come over recently and you had just woken up from a nap and for the very first time, you played shy. It melted my heart. You buried your head into my shoulder and peeked out with a little grin until you were more awake. But I will never ever forget that moment of realizing that I am your safe place.

Your neck and abs are super strong. When I put you in your car seat, you try to sit upright. And will try for a long, long time. I am impressed at the strength this must take, especially since you’re harnessed in! You like your exosaucer and play gym lately. It’s so fun to watch you learn and discover.

I think the thing that I love the very most about you right now is how you make other people smile. You smile and grin at everyone and seem to have a knack at day brightening. There are ladies who try to sit by us each Sunday in church so they can watch you during the service. You are quite the charmer.

Love you so much, baby boy.

one hundred and three

I met Hildur at a schmoozy event at Gustavus where I was the student representative hosting her table and she was one of the loyal Gusties who keeps the school afloat. She invited me to stop by her home sometime and I assumed she was just being polite. I ran into her months later at church and she asked quite sternly why I had never stopped by.

The next Friday I rang her doorbell and she invited me in to have a seat on her davenport. And then she served me cherry cobbler. We've been friends ever since.

We shared lots of Friday afternoons together when I lived in St. Peter and found that we shared a whole lot in common. Both of our families have a history of dairy farming, both of us were Gustavus education majors, both of us worked a lot with the youth in our churches. I addressed her Christmas cards one year and she always left a welcome back message on my voicemail when I came back to campus after a holiday break.

When I graduated, she let me hold my graduation party at her place. After graduation we talked a lot on the phone. If I ever drove through St. Peter either to my grandma's or back to Nebraska I'd try to pop in for a surprise visit. If I was ever overdue in calling her she would let me know it, making me promise that I wouldn't wait another three months to call her again. She loved a good life update and always asked follow up questions from our conversations months earlier. The woman was sharp.

My folks called yesterday to tell me that Hildur passed away in her sleep in her own home. She was one hundred and three. The news knocked the wind out of me because I have been meaning to call her ever since Ivar was born.

Regret is such a terrible feeling. It's such a bad place to find yourself because regret has everything to do with the past and things that can't be undone. I am so sad that I didn't call her in the past four months.

It's tricky because I had thought about calling her many, many times, but I knew it would be a long conversation and I was never able or willing to give up my window of naptime, personal time, whatever-time to actually give her a call. I can justify it any which way, I'm a new mom bla bla bla...but in the end, it still stinks. I would have loved to have told her all about my baby boy and I know she would have loved to hear every detail.

It's amazing how cleary I can hear her voice when I think about her. Her classic response to all of my commentary was always, "well that's just it."

So tonight as I think about a dear friend and a decade of sweet memories and a missed opportunity to celebrate my baby with a faithful cheerleader, I am left eager to make a few phone calls and sieze the day. Because we don't know if we have another day or one hundred and three years. (insert Hildur agreeing here, "well that's just it.")