st louis family vacation, day 2

The night we arrived we stayed up late with Uncle Mark and Aunt Jane talking at their kitchen table. And when we woke up in the morning (quite early for me, thanks to Hattie and Alden) we met up at the table again. Good stuff happens around that table. Rory and Uncle Mark sat and drank their coffee there for hours each morning, basically until lunch each day.

And I had the kids outside soaking up the sunshine. It just felt so good to be warm and outside! At one point Elsie and I were standing in the driveway and the neighbors tree was snowing white flower petals all around us in the wind. Elsie kept saying, "it's snowing! it's snowing!" And I knew that in that moment there really was a blizzard in Minnesota, but here in Missouri we were in a blizzard of good smelling tree blossoms. That moment sort of sums up my joyful and glad attitude on this trip. I was just so happy to be out of winter! My mood was as bright as the sunshine, so grateful to be dropped into peak spring!

Before lunch we went for a walk up and down their street. Uncle Mark and Aunt Jane live in a really stunning neighborhood, with houses built right before the Worlds Fair in 1904. Uncle Mark explained a bit to me how St. Louis was one of the major cities of the world at that time, with the second largest and busiest rail yard in the world. In 1904, St. Louis was very much an epicenter of our country. It would quickly be passed by Chicago, but at this time the city was bustling with industry and business. And doing quite well, as you can see by these lovely houses! Many of the houses have a matching small house behind them that served as the carriage house for horses.

Then we came in for lunch and Aunt Jane had chicken salad on croissants with kettle chips. At the end of the trip we asked the kids what their favorite parts were and Elsie said, "Aunt Jane's cooking!" Everything was so good.

Then Hattie went down for her nap and we all had quiet time. The pace of this first day was so wonderful. I thought many times, "this really does feel like a true vacation." In the late afternoon we drove to Forest Park to find the playground. This next picture is a new favorite. Ivar jumped off a little too quickly, it seems.

And then we flew a kite. I always have these romantic images in my mind of flying a kite with the family. But to be 100% truthful, all of our kids took a turn crying in frustration while trying to get this dollar tree kite up in the air!

Finally we went out to supper at Lulu's, a favorite Chinese restaurant where we ordered very authentic things for our kids like pot stickers and orange chicken with fried rice. Last time we were here without kids and Aunt Jane ordered an incredible spread of food she loves from China. But this time with the kids we ordered everything that was familiar. Uncle Mark and our cousins came to join us this night, but the camera battery died, so you'll have to wait until day 3 to see pics of the rest of the family. :)

Special thanks to Ivar for taking this awesome picture. We'll get Hattie's chin next time. :)

st louis family vacation, day 1

Last week we loaded up the minivan for a trip to St. Louis. At the last minute we decided to leave a day early, as there was winter weather in the forecast. Thankfully we did or I think we would have been stranded on our farm. A whole blizzard hit Minnesota. But just 8 1/2 hours south in St. Louis it was 78 and sunny with trees in full blossom and tulips and daffodils at their peak. I mention this just so that you, too, can file this fact away: that when it is still full blown winter in Minnesota, you could get to much warmer weather in just one day of driving. It's sort of amazing to me!

 We packed a picnic for our first lunch and found a fantastic small town playground and picnic area (with bathrooms!) in New Hampton, Iowa. This is a new family favorite destination. We had a blast, ran around for an hour, could be as loud as everyone needed to be, used the bathrooms many times, ate ham and cheese roll ups and basically marveled that we were not wearing winter coats.

Ivar was in full-boy-glory, teasing me that he might fall in the water, exploring how close he could get, watching a frog swim by and then he found the treasure of all treasures: laying in the bottom of the stream was an abandoned play gun.

Could there be anything more thrilling for an 8-year-old boy?!! Rory helped him fish it out with a long stick and then they hung it in a tree so that it's rightful owner might find it again and wonder how it got up there.

Oh, and then they found half of a crayfish. Clearly this rest stop was epic and full of adventure and excitement. We were glad we hadn't stopped at McDonalds. That would have lacked so much!

Then we got back in the car for the long haul. It took us 11 hours to travel the 8 1/2 hours we had to drive. Which isn't terrible! 2 1/2 hours of stops was pretty impressive to me. I kept saying, "we're making terrible time, but we're having a great time!" Though in the last 30 minutes Alden had had enough and let us know his frustration until he fell fast asleep. We got to Uncle Mark and Aunt Jane's house around 8:45 and transferred the little two into bed while the big two explored the house and where we would spend the next two days...

Knocka Knocka, it's Hattie Joy

Hattie is 3 1/2 and is a pure delight. Many nights I will wake in the middle of the night to a quiet knocking on our door (that is not completely closed anyway) with her speaking, "knocka- knocka, Mama. Knocka knocka" And when I get up to open the door she'll tell me she doesn't want the tornado to get her, while climbing into our bed squishing her pillow in between our pillows. I'll collapse next to her and if I open my eyes, her bright eyes will be staring at me, her whole face smiling. It's sort of a highlight of my life right now. And after a while she will get carried back into her own bed because she moves around too much.

Hattie loves to be a helper. Ivar and Elsie have morning chores and she will always ask me, "what's my job?!!" And then no matter what I say she'll protest, "At's too Ard!" And I tell her, "no, that's not too hard, and Hattie, you can do hard things. So go and pick up the crayons in the livingroom and put them back in their tupperware..."

Most of the time she calls Elsie Mary, and refers to herself as Laura.

When I tell the girls to go and put on something nice for church, Elsie will come down in a lovely dress with tights and jewelry and Hattie will run down holding her favorite overalls, "these nice!" She has worn her overalls the last three Sunday's in a row. I keep meaning to get a picture because she and Elsie contrast each other in such a comical way to me. But she does tend to get a lot of compliments on her overalls. :)

When I think about Hattie I always just feel so glad that she is ours. I feel so grateful to be her mom. Her bi-annual big appointments continue to go really well and they continue to watch her as an interesting and special case who hasn't needed cranio surgery yet. We meet with a speech teacher to work on certain sounds that are hard because her pallet is so, so high and her tongue can't reach behind her teeth. So we are working on that, but boy she is one very active, outgoing, friendly, enthusiastic, passionate three year old. And the joy of our home.

Elsie's Cookbook

Last Saturday Elsie made her first recipe, asking me to not tell her a thing or help her because, "then it wouldn't be my own recipe!" She had an idea and just wanted to try it. So I left her in the kitchen and only came in to help her put the mini cakes in the oven.

As it turns out, 4 eggs, 1.5 cups of sugar, 1.5 cups of flour, 1/3 stick of melted butter and a handful of chocolate chips do make for edible and yummy mini cakes in a cupcake pan! We were all totally impressed for a recipe that never creamed things together or anything. It was just a dump and stir recipe.

The next day was church potluck and she told me excitedly, "You can make my mini cakes! I have the recipe all ready for you!" In the end I made chocolate pudding with thin mints crushed on top (by the way, I had more people ask me for the recipe on this one, than anything I've ever brought before! Ha! Instant pudding! File that one away for your next potluck!!!) and when Elsie saw her face fell and she said, "Did you not really like my mini cakes?"

Oh dear me. "No, no, I loved them. I just wanted something easy to make and didn't want to bake. But you're right. Many from our church would LOVE to have one of your mini cakes. I will make those next!" So after the kids went to bed I made a dozen mini cakes following Elsie's recipe and then make a card to set by them, "Mini Cakes, Invented by Elsie Groves" exactly as she wanted me to write.

And wouldn't you know, she got LOTS of attention and compliments on her original recipe. And it all made for a new favorite Elsie memory. Then we came home and she insisted on making a pie. Again with no instruction. She crushed graham crackers for the crust with butter and then made a similar filling with lots of eggs, lots of sugar and coconut flour. It was sort of like a baked custard.

Then she told us she is starting a cookbook. What fun!

Elsie is 6 1/2 and a complete wonder to me. She comes down from her room every morning dressed for success, complete with accessories, the right shoes and a hair style to coordinate. She is a joyful girl, very shy in new situations and loves to laugh and be silly. She helps me with the little kids, and often has more patience than I do, using a loving, falsetto voice, "No, no, Alden, you cannot throw your food on the floor. Are you trying to tell us you are all done? Then you say All Done." And Alden will repeat her. In these moments I try to take notes on how she does it...she is so dear and sweet.

She will talk nonstop while working in the kitchen with me, "Mom, I don't really want to be doing this, and I'm like sort of mad about it on the inside, but I'm like, I just have to do it. And either I can do it mad or I can do it happy but I still have to help and so then I choose happy so I can be more joyful because it's more fun to be joyful, right mom? I just wouldn't want to be mad every time I have to work, or we would all be mad a lot because there is a lot we have to do each day and I'd rather be happy..." And on and on and on and on.

I love having her companionship and look forward to eating more egg and sugar based recipes from her upcoming cookbook.

Little Baby Groves

Meet Little Baby Groves...with its fist rubbing its eyes! All six of us went to the ultrasound and while we were watching the baby flexed its arm, visibly drank some fluid (we could see it swallowing!) and put its feet all the way up over its head.  We were all very impressed.

It was so fun to all be in that tiny dark room together. The kids did great and this time around Ivar and Elsie understood what they were looking at. We had a little ultrasound tutorial before we left, explaining how the head will look and the body. It helped a lot so that when the nurse turned on the tv, they knew right away what they were seeing. Hattie was mostly confused and still asks if the baby, "came out of you?!!" I think she thinks we left the baby at the clinic. Which is terribly sad to me. But she also is convinced that she also has a baby in her tummy that will come out in summertime. So, really, all of it is just a lot to comprehend.

This pregnancy has been very smooth, except right at 19 weeks my energy levels tanked. It actually was the day I turned 38 and I thought it was just a sign that I am indeed older and that exhaustion just set in when I turned 38. For about 10 days I felt completely wiped out by mid-morning. But then I realized that I had, at that same time, stopped taking my vitamin B complex because I had run out. So I went to Walgreens, bought another bottle (and a Reeces peanut butter egg) and added vitamin B complex into my prenatal and iron supplement routine. Literally within hours I felt back to my normal self.  It brought my energy back, and I would sell the stuff door to door to tired moms if they would listen to me! It helps so much! (though I still will take a nap from time to time because there is lot going on around here...)

We are now 22 weeks along and baby is moving and grooving and I am in love. I am so thankful for this little life and feel ready to do it all over again. What a precious gift.

"firewood!" with Alden

Recently while at the zoo Alden called every mammal "a kitty!" and everything else "a birdy!" When we got to the taper, I asked him what that was, while looking at the large black and grey ant-eater type animal in front of us. He looked a long time and then said, "Firewood! Firewood!" And began running back and forth along the glass divide, positively thrilled by all of the fallen, dead trees in the taper exhibit. I'm not even sure he saw the animal.

It was so funny to me because this boy LOVES firewood. Just like Ivar loved "balls!" Alden's passion is firewood! Each morning of the winter he helped Rory build the fire and proudly helped bring logs to Rory. He even points out fallen trees while driving, "Firewood!"

It is nice he has this passion as we have many piles of firewood all over our property and even more trees that still need to be chopped up after the storm in September.

Alden is 21 months and is happiness around here, as well as a lot of work. He spends his every waking moment moving items from room to room. Alden begins his waking day yelling, "Ellllsie! Elllsie!!! I awake! Elllsie! Elllsie!" And then Elsie will get out of her bed and help him get out of his crib. He and Elsie are very close. One time the rest of us were at a playdate but he was left home napping while Rory was at home working. Rory said when he woke up he got him out of his crib and then Alden proceeded to cry for Elsie nonstop until we came back home. He did not appreciate being left out.

Ivar has his own special nick name calling him Oden and telling him to "grow up quickly, Oden, so I can take you to my new tree fort." Alden also adores his dad and if he ever sees Rory's truck pull up he will yell continually, "Daddy, Hooome! Daddy Hooome!" and wait in the kitchen right by the door to the garage, not taking his eyes off of the door, patiently waiting for Rory to walk in.

This boy is a joy. He is always a little dirty, loves to snuggle and be held close, thrilled by tractors and trucks and wants to be "outside!" all day long. We have a fun spring and summer and fall ahead of us!

Ivar's Lego Land

Last summer Ivar and Rory were walking around the woods and Rory asked Ivar what his dreams were for the farm. Ivar thought for a while and after some time said, "You know, I'd really like my own space."

And then we moved him into a room with his three siblings. Ha! Just kidding. First we let him move all of his legos out to the cabin for his own private retreat. He loved it, but often commented that he felt a little lonesome out there. You know, in his own space.

So this winter Rory cleared the work bench in the 1890's limestone-walled basement, installed some new drop lights, built some shelves, rolled out a piece of scrap carpet and surprised him with his own space, in the house. Ivar was thrilled and has spent long afternoons working on legos, stop motion or art projects in his own personal Lego Land.

And he can't be too lonesome with big cousins Kirby and Toby smiling at him while he works...

So I've got a good story.

Last night Ivar came up to me, "Mom, I had no idea one of those lego books I got from the library was by Sean Kenny. If I had known that I wouldn't have gotten it. I always feel so jealous when I see how many legos he has."

"Oh Ivar, I know that feeling. And I'm so glad you can put words to it. That shows you have wisdom. It feels bad to feel jealous. Did you know I used to look at pictures and read stories about a girl who had goats and chickens and zinnias. And when I saw her pictures I always felt super jealous."

"But Mom! We have goats and chickens and zinnias!"

"I know it. That's how crazy jealousy can be. You literally forget what you have and wish for what another has. It's crazy. And I think Satan likes us to feel that because it means he has stolen our contentment. And it literally blinds us from the things we do have, that we should be grateful for!"

"I don't feel like this with every Lego Book. It's just that Sean Kenny has bins and bins of every color and shape and they pay him to build with Legos everyday! But some books I feel fine reading."

"Well that's what is so weird about watching another person. There are other writers and picture takers that I follow that leave me feeling inspired and motivated instead of jealous. And I'm not totally sure why that is. But the moment I realize that I feel sad about what I have or don't have because of someone else's pictures, I stop looking their way. I had to stop reading the blog of the girl with goats, chickens and zinnias so I could enjoy my own goats, chickens and zinnias again."

Isn't jealousy a sneaky thing? Hearing it articulated by an 8-year-old felt so profound to me.

And you can stop following this blog if his Lego Land makes you feel jealous. :)

four kids in one room

At some point during this long winter we decided to get all of the kids in one room, preparing the nursery for the baby due in August. We obviously made this change a lot earlier than we needed to, but when we brought it up the girls got so excited about sharing a bed that we decided to give it a go. And that left an empty crib in their bedroom that Alden could easily switch into.

So now they all share one room. And they LOVE it. Rory calls it summer camp.  Alden goes to sleep immediately, Elsie and Hattie snuggle up together and sometimes read books with flashlights and Ivar keeps an eye on it all, perched on the top bunk, often reading late into the night. 

And it is going really well. They've all been together for five or six weeks now, and with hardly an incident. The sisters have had to learn how to sleep with another in the bed and not thrash around, but that has settled down with time. Honestly, I think they're really fortunate to share this season altogether. I think it's really fun. 

farm camp creative projects

I have been working on all sorts of fun ideas for Farm Camp. This is a personal favorite: the rope rainbow. I have seen these all over online, and I love how each one turns out so different and unique.

Planning for Farm Camp has been so exciting. I am beginning to see how each day will feel, and how it will all come together. Our week this summer is going to be so much fun.. the crafts, the teachings, the meals, and the farm projects are all really varied and creative. This is the camp I would have LOVED when I was in high school.

We will be making these rope rainbows on day three, the day we focus on how we are God's handiwork, created in Christ to do good works. We will spend time discussing how we all have creation within us, made with a purpose by a loving and thoughtful God, and how we might share our unique loves and passions with the world.

This little rainbow is a hopeful sign to me of all that is to come!

Sunday morning with little ones

This Sunday Alden woke up especially clingy, and even while at home, would not let me set him down. He had his hand in his mouth and I assume it was some sort of teething thing.

But it meant that when we got to church, he also wasn't letting me set him down. Which is fine. Some mornings he will gladly go into the church nursery, and other mornings he makes it very clear by body lunging away from that side of the hall, that he is not going in there. But our church is gracious and usually we can be in the service at least during the singing.

And then there is the cry room that has a feed of the service for moms and dads to watch while their kids play. Lately, that's where Alden and I spend most of our morning.

And it's a funny mind game. Immediately I want to feel sorry for myself (I should say that Rory takes his turn as well, but often he is volunteering in the service as an usher, so he can't really leave as easily) and there is a devious voice that sneaks in and wonders why we made the effort to get to church anyway. Afterall, I could just watch this same service at home, with a sleeping Alden in his crib, instead of sitting on the floor, playing fire trucks, feeding the needy child donut holes and catching every forth sentence.

But I caught myself this past Sunday. I made myself list all of the conversations I had during Fellowship Hour. And some of them were very meaningful to me. And then after service we stayed a long time (we are the folks who tend to close the place down...a genetic trait we both got from our own parents) and I had a few more great conversations.

On the drive home I realized I had two VERY TRUE stories I could have reported to Rory from my morning. The first was the pity party story of sitting in that back room with a fussy Alden, feeling tired and exhausted (likely from the donut holes I was sugar crashing on). The second was the connection I had with so-and-so before church and the life-giving talk I had with so-and-so after church. And I decided in the moment to tell the second story because I would have missed out on those meaningful connections if I had stayed home and watched in my pajamas.

The other story from the morning: After sitting in the cry room for a while I told Alden we could go see Daddy in church if he was very quiet and colored next to me. He said, "Yaasss." That he did want to do that. So we walked back into our spots, sat down and just then our pastor began talking about Peter. And everytime he said "Peter" Alden would yell, "Pizza! Pizza!" I tried to shush him, give him a cracker, distract him, but he was very interested in the sermon now, waiting for Pastor Brent to say the buzz word again. He did, and Alden excitedly yelled, "Pizza!" again, and then I had to take the walk of shame (not really, but you if you are a mom who has already exited the church with a noisy child, and have to do it again...it definitely feels this way!) back through all the church, back into the cry room to play firetrucks with Alden.

And likely if we asked Alden, he would say his favorite part of the morning was playing fire trucks with his mom on the floor.

Farm Camp this summer at our farm!!

I have been having a whole lot of fun lately. I am planning a week long day-camp at our farm this summer for 8 high school girls. It's basically my dream summer camp...exactly what I would love to do (and not do.) So there will be no spinning-our-foreheads-around-a-baseball-bat relays. But there will be lots of creative projects- embroidery hoops, mixed media collages, and daily baking or preserving. Every night each camper will go home with something edible to share with their family.

Mostly, I'm so excited to get the ears of these girls and to pour some dreams and hopes into their hearts. The decisions that a girl makes from ages 15-25 will have implications and consequences for the rest of their lives. These years are so, so important for keeping an eye on the big picture, and not just the immediate and instant. So we will talk about all sorts of topics from finding life-giving, supportive friends, wisdom in dating, the gift of marriage and the joy of one day having their own family. What fun to get to dream big dreams together! And what a gift to have time to seek the Lord and spend time listening to his voice in these matters.

And then there is the farm! We'll be working in the garden (not a lot, but enough to learn about weeding and good soil and growth) and with the animals (we'll milk the goat and make goat milk soap, spend time with the sheep, feed the pigs and we are hoping to have eggs hatching the week the girls are here in our new egg incubator). Everything we learn about on the farm will be connected to scriptures that highlight God's ways. This winter we have carved out two afternoons a week when I am writing the curriculum I will be teaching (or the girls will be reading) and I cannot wait! It's so rich! As always, I feel like I am the first student, soaking up these lessons as I learn and am so excited to pass these truths along.

I am envisioning a varied group of girls. Some might be from the city, with no experience on a farm at all. And maybe even no actual interest! But I want these girls to feel the welcome of a family farm and to experience a week here, sort of like when I visited my Grandma's farm growing up. I was definitely a city mouse, but am so grateful I had so many family farms (aunts and uncles) to visit throughout my childhood. Some girls might be from around this area and just interested in a summer camp that is closer to home or that lets them sleep in their own bed each night! (That would have been me growing up.)

And others might feel like they would love to live on a farm one day, but don't live on one now. I have two good friends from church who came to our farm last summer to help me, a junior and senior in high school. Both of them lived in town and one told me, "I just have this feeling I am going to be a missionary one day in a country where I will need to grow my own food and I want to start learning." (Talk about life vision and goals!!!) And the other told me, "I just want to learn how to garden and preserve my food and see how you do it all as a mom." Their visits were an absolute highlight of my summer and got me dreaming of this day camp that I am calling Farm Camp. I see the need, and I understand the gift of living this lifestyle for a short time to help cast a big and full vision for the campers that come. (Obviously they won't all move to a farm! But maybe they'll take an interest in gardening. Or making their own pickles from grocery store cucumbers.)

Can you tell I'm excited? It's really fun to tap into my former life as a Bible Camp program director and to see how God is creatively merging my life as a mother and farmer with camp ministry.

So one afternoon Rory and I made this spiffy little promo video. We had the kids upstairs playing in the bedroom, kept quiet by a sleeve of club crackers, and quickly recorded this baby in one shot. I didn't rehearse what I would say and in the end I think it does a fine job communicating the heart of this camp. As one who has never been able to take a selfie, this was a very awkward experience for me, but whatever. Hopefully it will help spread the word!

If you know of anyone who may be interested, send them my way! A full rundown of our topics from day to day can be found at this link on The Grovestead website. I am so excited for the week we will have together. It is going to be full of worthwhile experiences, conversations and teachings. Plus, it's just so great to think about summer, isn't it?!!

a tv show pitch...

On a given Saturday afternoon, when in the midst of the sports channels, you might see an ice fishing competition on one channel, a down hill skiing race on another, ice dancing on one and a bowling tournament on another. 

I have an idea for another sport. It would be all footage of mothers getting their children out the door in their snow gear. There would be a commentator, announcing how it is going, what might be going wrong, telling what the mother intended for this moment. The camera work would be difficult. The mother would be going back and forth helping everyone find lost mittens and boots. And really, just a pair of socks can often be the most difficult task.

"Oh dear. Folks, this is not looking good. Did you notice what she forgot to do here? She forgot to ask the 3-year-old if she needed to go potty. That's a real shame. That little one will be back inside in two minutes to do this all over again."

"Looking good from the start. Everyone is in cheerful moods, feeling excited to go and play outside. But oh, now that's not going to be good. The inner lining of the boy's snowpants did not get stretched around the outside of the boot. And that is deep snow out there. One deep step and those pants will rise up and expose his athletic pants to the snow. He's not going to be happy about that."

"Not bad overall. Everyone is outside. Playing. Looking around. The unfortunate thing for this family is that somewhere in that yard are their buried sleds. Yes, they got left out during an overnight snowfall, and those sleds have yet to be found. Which has caused all the children to complain of how boring it is out there, with nothing to do. Poor, poor children."

"Oh what's this? Is that the mother, putting on her own snow pants? Oh now that is above and beyond! A reminder that she is 15 weeks pregnant and already got the 18 months old and 3 year old suited up and out the door. But she's really going for it. Here she is, heading out the door to be greeted by her...oh, shoot, by her sobbing 18 month old who seems to have removed his mittens and stuck his pink hands into the snow. She'll have to head back inside now. But boy, what a nice effort."

Amish Mom

Elsie, age 6, walking into the kitchen, "Mom, let's pretend you're an Amish mom who loves to make a big lunch so that anyone who is hungry and doesn't have enough money to pay for a good meal can come to your house and you will feed them. And how about we are two neighbor girls who come to help you each day get ready for all the people. I'll be Mary and Hattie is Laura." Hattie interjects enthusiastically, "I'm Wawa!" "And Mom, we call you Ma, even though you aren't our actual Ma, but that's what everyone calls you when you're working in the kitchen. And you tell us helpful things we can do."

So I asked if Laura would wipe down the kitchen table and if Mary would wipe down all of the counters. They were so glad and happy. And then Mary asked if they could sweep too.

I told them they were the best help I had ever found and I will gladly spread the word to all the other Amish mothers out there that Laura and Mary are terrific workers if they ever need extra hands.

It's 2 17! It's 2 17!

Ivar's watch alarm just went off and he began yelling, "It's Two Seventeen! It's Two Seventeen!" And he kept celebrating while showing me on his digital watch that when he hit mode it said 2:17 for the time AND 2 17 for the date.

And that is your dose of 8-year-old for the day. He's so awesome.

And it is also Ivar's Papa's birthday today! So happy 2 17, Papa!

In other news, one afternoon this week I began singing:
"...I ask no other sunshine than the sunshine of his face;
Content to let the world go by, to know no gain nor loss,
My sinful self my only shame, My glory all, the cross."

And the song stopped me in my tracks because I couldn't figure out why I had even thought of it. Best I can come up with is maybe someone at Aldi was humming it? But I go to a charismatic church now and I haven't sung Beneath the Cross of Jesus in a long, long time. Let alone (what I just looked up to be) part of verse 3!

But it made me happy to know that my inner Lutheran Clock is still going strong. And somehow I just knew it was time to sing Lenten songs!

...except then I googled when Ash Wednesday was this year and it is not until MARCH SIXTH!!! And then I felt a little bit of winter defeat. Because Lent was always a bit of a Spring-Is-Coming countdown too. But apparently it's still a while before the fish-n-chips specials start up... In the meantime, I'll still sing my Lenten songs. I LOVE a good somber, contemplative hymn and Lent definitely does this best!

yes! five!

Apologies for that pregnant pause after posting Ivar's video. I had intended to come on here and further explain, but you know...life is in full swing.

So yes! Five! We are thrilled. We were hopeful for one more and were grateful to be able get pregnant again.

But let me tell you, we didn't see this coming even after Alden was born. We bought our minivan with full belief that we were done and would fit a minivan nicely. Now we will fit a minivan not so nicely. It was strange how our change of heart came about. There was a night where all six of us were up in Ivar and Elsie's room. The kids were playing, a newborn Alden was laying on a blanket on the ground and Rory and I looked at each other. He said, "there's room for more, isn't there?" And I said, "oh my word. I was just thinking that we're not done yet." And we sort of looked at each other in amazement. These thoughts surprised us both.

We didn't talk about it much more, other than making little comments here and there, "oh we could totally have another." or "where would we fit another bed?" It was always sort of floating around, and some days I felt super able to add another, and others I thought the idea was a little extreme.

But then there is Alden. Easiest baby on planet earth. He's just a delight. Easy peasy. Pure joy with a huge smile. And the more I thought about what we would have missed if we had stopped at 3, the more I wondered who would be our number 5.

Plus, my mom is the fifth born in her family. Just think how different my life would be if Phil and Velma Bredberg had decided to stop at four! (I'll give you a hint. Poof! You wouldn't be reading this blog right now...)

Around the end of August we realized we had to get serious about making this decision, so we took a month to pray and seek the Lord. That month we experienced the tornado, as well as the powerful gift of a large family and all of the help and love and care that descended on our farm because of my mom's large farm family. It was one of those first evenings after the storm, still without power, sitting by candle light that Rory said with tears in his eyes, "what could be more worth our lives than raising up good children who love the Lord and will take care of each other for the rest of their lives?" We took these moments as confirmation and decided we could figure out the logistical things like car seats and bedroom arrangements in due time. We wanted a fifth.

We also sat Ivar and Elsie down individually and asked them what they would think about having another baby. I know the oldest kids can sometimes have opinions about being the oldest in a bigger family. Ivar's response was, "oh yes! I just wish we didn't have to wait so long for the baby to be here! I want it here now!" And Elsie's response was basically some sort of squeal followed by a yes.

So here we are. I am already 13 weeks along (this will be a fast pregnancy for you blog readers! Already almost to second trimester!) And due mid-August. I feel fantastic. I cannot complain about one thing. That is remarkable to me, and I am very grateful. I have a swell of nausea once in a while but take those with a little relief that I actually am pregnant and everything is still going well. I will also add that this is how I felt with Ivar and Alden. It was Elsie and Hattie that had me sick. So there's that. But every baby born to a friend lately has been suspected one gender and then surprised everyone, so I'm not going to place any bets.

I think that's about all. My belly is growing. I still fit into my carhartt snowpants, but it's getting real snug. I have been nesting and cleaning and making give away piles like a woman who is trying to make room for one more body in her house. It feels great. We've got room aplenty in our house and our hearts for this baby. What fun to feel the same anticipation and gladness for the fifth pregnancy as the first. That is always a wonder to me. Our hearts can only grow and grow and grow.

Ivar's latest stop motion video...

(Be sure your volume is on.) Ivar has been doing so many stop motion videos lately, and it's fun to see what he comes up with next. This one has a great ending! :)

well hello!

It's been a long, long time. I'll try to fill you in on life lately...

Lately I've been:

Watching Tudor Farm and Wartime Farm with Rory. Both of these are BBC series where they reenact a certain slice of history and show how they did everything back in that day. Rory and I eat this stuff up. Where many are excited about the technology of the future, we are always slack jawed at the innovative ways things were done in the past. (both are on youtube linked above and the music audio on tudor farm is horrible...just a heads up...)

Enjoying all of the quotes that come out of Hattie's mouth.  A few nights ago we had friends over for dinner so that day I cleaned my kitchen so that it was basically empty when I was done. Every bit of paper and clutter was put in it's place and so the next day I was cleaning it again, hoping it might stay that way. Hattie came in and said, "More people comin' over?" I said, "no, I just want to keep it nice and tidy when it looks so good." And Hattie nodded her head, "Oh good! Nice and Tidy comin' over!"

Reading My Bible! I am enjoying this version so, so much! I had no daily habit for Bible reading the past few years. I was quite sporadic with long lulls in between. And even though I still don't read it every single day, I do catch up about every other day or every third day and I LOVE being accountable to keeping it up. Plus, this version that I linked to is really great. Good summaries, keeps it moving, adds insight along the way. Join in if you want! There is no "too late" to starting this good habit!

Eating the salad above. As often as possible. My sister-in-law Sara brought this to a Christmas gathering and I honestly think I ate half the bowl. It's just olives (I use kalamata) tomatoes (not in season, but they taste so summery in this salad) cucumbers, feta cheese and a dressing. Sara used Newman's Own Feta Greek dressing. I use Aldi's Greek dressing and both are SO GOOD. This salad tastes so not-wintertime to me. It's why I love it. It feels like I'm taking a stand against the frozen earth. Make this. You will be happy you did.

Playing board games! On Saturday we took the kids to a meet up where a big reception hall was set up with tables and tables of prototype board games to play with their creator. We didn't bring our own games and instead played everyone else's and it was SO GREAT. One was a card game that had us building sandwiches with our cards. Another was a Christmas Caroling game where you had to knock on the table, sing a carol and then take your turn in game play. It was all so fun! So creative! So inventive! And we left with our heads spinning with fun ideas for more board games.

Hibernating. When it gets this cold I just don't like to go outside. Rory is a stud and does all the animal chores a couple times a day, checking on their water and making sure everyone is okay when it's below zero. And I just tell him how great I think he is and quickly close the door when he walks outside.

Cleaning the kids room. It had hit a new level of sty. There were just too many toys accessible and today I cleaned it like it was my job. It sort of is, as their mother. They helped as well and I loaded up two big boxes full of toys to put into the attic and one big bag of toys to give away (don't tell the kids...) Their room looks great now and I will have more peace in my heart with less stuff strewn all over by my well-intentioned, though destructive, one year old.

That's all for now. I felt like I had to bop my head in here before you all thought I've quit forever. Not sure why the lull...you know me. I'll be back.

2018 in review

For years and years I have done an annual Best Of post. But this year I'm going to change things up a bit, going month by month, picking out the highlight from my posts that month. I just went through January and it was so fascinating to me to scroll through my life one year ago. So I'll spare you that task, and just share a favorite moment from each month.

January

 Goat. It's what's for dinner. Definitely a favorite blog post.

February

John Deere Groves, Welcome to the Farm-ily

March

his name is Miracle

April

today on the farm... A good reminder of all that is to come in springtime. And to rest up!

May

post holes So. many. post. holes.

June

I'm a milk maid! Likely the happiest moment of my 2018. Can you tell?!!

to market to market to kill a fat pig There's just so much to learn on a farm...

July

Hay Day...Hooray!

Goat Milk Soap

August

can the rainbow ...my New Year's resolution last year.

 ...and, a BLT with the Bacon, Lettuce and Tomato all from our own farm!

September

a very scary night and so grateful 

October...I only posted once in October...

Halloween 2018

November

Alden's Day 2018 A day-in-the-life at our house.

December

...no blog post, just a nice family picture

So there you have it. Our year in review. I have never had a year in my life where I have felt so changed...and I'm not certain if it was 2018, or when I turned 37, because that was the day Miracle was born, and that experience changed me so completely from an in-the-house farm wife to a full on walking-to-the-barn-at-2-am-to-bottle-feed farmer. I wrote about this transformation fully right here. And the big life experiences just kept coming. God has shown me so many things this year, taught me so many things, empowered me in so many ways. All things are possible and I believe it in my bones. My hands will remain wide open, ready to learn and grow and deepen my relationship with Him. Because he has me on a fast track at the moment and I simply want to learn more and more of him and his ways.

So there it is. 2018 has passed and 2019 looks full of possibility and promise. How good it is to be alive.

3 good Christmas stories

So this picture was taken earlier in the month...it's a little more brown and icy now. :)

Story One: 
Back in September our church hosted the Minnesota Teen Challenge Choir. We have the Rochester campus come to our church and in the choir was the granddaughter of one of our members. Also singing up front was the young mom who sits in front of us every Sunday morning. I knew she had been in rehab, but I didn't realize she was at Teen Challenge. She's a great girl. She comes with her mom every Sunday and now her two kids come with their grandma as she gets help to overcome her addictions.

This past Sunday she must have had a pass to leave the campus and came to church. We were sitting on the opposite side of our usual seats and so I didn't see her until I saw the commotion as we sang. She had been spotted by a good friend and the two were hugging and it looked so joyful. Then one of my favorite older men in the congregation got out of his seat and went to shake her hand and they talked for a while. And over and over I watched her be overwhelmingly welcomed into our fold with so much joy and gladness that she was back. It made me happy to be a part of the church- there was so much love surrounding her.

Story Two:
We got to church for the Christmas Eve service just as it was beginning. I was walking behind my clan with a toddling Alden who tripped and fell and by the time he picked himself up again, Rory had chosen our seats. He chose a row closer to the front in the middle of lots of people, next to our good friends with little kids. And immediately I felt like this was a bad idea. Christmas Eve is a quiet service and if I had been leading the pack I would have chosen the back row, with an easy exit for when we got to noisy. Instead I climbed over Rory to sit with all 6 of us in 4 chairs.

I was so annoyed. I didn't even look to see who was behind us as I climbed into my spot. I just felt embarrassed for what was to come. So I tried to be still and keep everyone quiet and fumed a bit at how stuck I was in this row.

But the kids were fine. And Alden kept smiling at the people behind us, and I just hoped they weren't regretful that their Christmas Eve came with a side show. Eventually I loosened up and I turned to see who Alden was beaming at. And guess who it was? Tony. Tony, Alden's very best friend at church. Tony is an old man who lives alone and comes to church an hour early so that he can feed Alden donut holes, one after another and scratch Alden's back. They love each other and I quickly realized Alden was likely making Tony's whole Christmas as he smiled and excitedly handed him ripped up scraps of paper.

And then I looked next to Tony and it was Gayla and her husband. Gayla teaches Hattie and Elsie's Sunday School class and adores my daughters. And when I made eye contact with her she lit up and wished me a Merry Christmas and her husband smiled and I felt so much grace.

It turns out we were surrounded by people who love us fully. I looked around and on every side were friends who love our family. And I felt that love go right into my heart as my body physically went from nervous and annoyed to relief and belonging.

Story Three:
This one involves you. A few years ago my mom got a Chronological Daily Bible and read the Bible in a year. The next year her brother Wayne bought this Bible for himself and for each of his siblings and they read it together. Last April I found this particular Bible at the used book fair in our town and picked it up. It took until September for me to start reading it and when I did I was so glad. This Bible is fantastic. The books for the prophets are woven through the stories found in Kings and Chronicles. The Psalms pop up from time to time, fitting the text. The book of Acts has been broken up with Paul's letters to the churches peppered throughout. The best part is that there are helpful paragraphs between readings that say, "Now remember while this is happening in Babylon, this is happening back in..." And it is so helpful! The story is alive and I am so grateful for the way the Word is made new through this Bible.

So I emailed my pastors and asked if I could invite our congregation to read this Bible with me in 2019. By 2020 we would have read the Bible together. And then I emailed a bunch of local friends to see if they wanted to join in. And at this time there are over 50 of us committed to reading God's Word together in 2019. Even the Hispanic small group bought 8 Spanish versions so they can join along!

So here's the thing. January first is right around the corner, and with Prime, you could have this Bible in your mailbox long before then. Or maybe it comes a few days late and you just pick up on the day it arrives because there is grace for this reading plan and because you likely know the creation story pretty well by now...

But I want to invite you to join in. It is 4-5 pages a day. It usually takes me 15-20 minutes. And I am telling you, I love this version.

It is called The Daily Bible in Chronological Order.  If you are feeling like your own faith life has been dry, or if you need a word from the Lord, then I highly recommend joining in. Because God is not quiet in his Bible! He has many words for you! They are right there.

And the thing about doing this as a group is that we are on the hook to read it! I need the accountability so much that I am leading this effort- think of the pressure on me to read it now! And you too! In a good way! I want to do this. Think about all that God wants to show us through his Word, if we would just open the book up. We will pray for discipline, obedience and steadfastness to keep our faces in the book- together. Literally on the same page.

So go order your Daily Bible. It's $20. I don't think you can regret this one!

Merry Christmas everybody.

Santa Lucia: Santa Hattie

My friend Lacy replied to an email saying, "we've got everything set for Lucia Day tomorrow..." and I wrote back that I was so grateful for the reminder because I barely knew the day of the week that week. So we pulled it off! And let me tell you, every year we are more and more casual about the whole thing and that seems to help greatly.

Elsie was Lucia in the morning at our house with Hattie as her joyful and happy assistant. They gave Dad cookies in bed and then tried to wake up Ivar but he just took his cookie and crawled back under his covers. Alden was the most enthused because he can say, "Cookie!" And he couldn't believe he was getting a spritz in his crib, first thing in the morning. 

Later in the day we went to Kyle and Lisa's house to surprise Josie and her boyfriend but Elsie got nervous at the last second so it was a quick switch to Hattie who was happy to be Lucia, though the crown didn't feel good she said. 

Then we went to my parent's house and Elsie was Lucia there. We sang We Wish you a Merry Christmas and gave cookies. And that was a wrap. And of the entire day, these are the only two pictures I took! But it was so fun to go to relative's houses, just like in our favorite Lucia book. I think this will become more of our tradition...making the rounds and delivering cookies door to door. It made for a really fun and festive Lucia day this year!