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goat baby

Hattie has never had one specific favorite thing. She had a blanket for a while, and has rotated some stuffed animals into the position of honor. And right now the favorite snuggly, bedtime thing is Goat Baby. She loves Goat Baby. She changes Goat Baby's diaper and gives her stroller rides. And she brings Goat Baby out with me in the morning to help me milk.

Hattie was my faithful, daily companion each morning as I milked Darcy until she startled Darcy by surprising us both and using the wash cloth to clean Darcy's utter right at the end of the milking session. Darcy was caught off guard and lifted her foot right into my milk pail (I had stopped using the hobbles). Which was such a bummer. The cats were fine with this upset as they got the milk, but all 2-year-olds were then asked to stay back at the house while Mama is milking.
And here's a farm baby if their ever was one. Crawling on his knees across the gravel road. He went back and forth three times. When he wasn't crossing the lane he was helping me plant flowers, putting wood chips in his mouth, splashing in the bucket of water and happily pulling up anything green. Even if it was a flower I just planted. People sometimes ask how we get it all done and I'd have to say it's because I've got lots of great helpers!
And here's my first round of Goat Milk Soap! Tada! Now it sits in the tray for 4-6 weeks before it is hard enough to use. 


goat milk soap

For weeks I have been checking out books from the library, watching youtube videos and gathering my supplies to turn my goat milk into goat soap. When I first set out I assumed making soap would be very simple. It couldn't actually be that complicated. But it is! Lye is dangerous to work with, proper temperatures need to be met, oils must be in perfect ratios and measured on a weigh scale, there needs to be good ventilation...just so many factors to consider! It actually reminded me a whole lot of a chemistry experiment. And Chemistry always overwhelmed me. `

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (Hattie just stopped by and was delighted to find "My H!")

But on Sunday night I tried my first batch. I was so nervous about it. I watched more youtube videos and realized I was flat out stalling. But it did feel really overwhelming. Just like chemistry. Finally I decided to just start and see what happened. And in the end, I made soap. There's a good lesson right there: just start. And then do it.

After pouring the "pudding" into the molds it has to be wrapped in towels and placed in a box for 24 hours to properly set up. There's all sorts of lingo I'm learning, but I'll just describe it how I understand it. And then last night I got to slice it into bars. It was so exciting! I kept yelling, "I made soap! I made soap!" And now it has to cure for 4-6 weeks before it can be used. I had no idea soap was such a procedure. But I am totally into this now. I may even make another batch this week. I really, really love the process. My first batch was lemon-cream. I may go for peppermint next. And then I can start adding things like color so I can make designs in the soap! And ground oatmeal for exfoliation, or flower petals!

I may end up liking chemistry after all of this...
And one final thought. Do you see that hand blender in the top picture? It was key to the success of this process. I've written about this before, but all throughout my childhood, my Grandma and Grandpa Bredberg gave all of the cousins $25 to spend before Christmas. We had to buy something, wrap it up in gift wrap and then at the family celebration, we would each have our turn to unwrap our own present and show Grandma and Grandpa what we picked out. I only remember two presents that I chose: a real stroller for my dolls that Ivar later used and my Braun Hand Blender. I think I was in 7th grade and of all things on planet earth, I wanted a hand blender. (I am beginning to realize that I have always been very practical.) So it was pretty awesome to STILL BE USING that great gift, twenty-five years later on something as fun and practical as Goat Milk Soap!

Also, look at those darling stained glass flowers my mom made for me! I love them. And don't look at my dirty window...

Monday Night Spaghetti

We are eating from a two week menu rotation and every Monday night is Spaghetti. My Mondays play out the same: I look at the menu on the fridge and think to myself, "Oh Awesome! Spaghetti! So Easy! Great." And then we sit down to eat this crowd favorite and as the meal unfolds I think, "Oh Right! Spaghetti! What a mess! Gross!"

But I just never seem to remember the mess before the meal.

eating from the garden

We planted our blueberry bushes four years ago. And the first two years you have to take all the flowers off of the bush so that the energy goes into the root system and making it healthy and strong. Last year was our first harvest, but we were at family Bible camp that week and missed our first harvest. We have weeded our bushes every year, mulched around them, and piled up pine needles to increase the acidity of the soil. So you can imagine the great joy we are feeling this year picking our blueberries! I have made blueberry jam and we are trying a batch of dehydrated blueberries at the moment. We have some in the freezer too. And most of them are in our bellies from fresh eating all day long. 

Does anyone have any favorite blueberry recipes to share with me? We would love to preserve as many as possible, but haven't done this before!

Also, last Sunday after church I made my first plate of Fried Green Tomatoes. And then I took my annual picture of my Fried Green Tomatoes. :) I treat this moment like a holiday. It brings me so much joy. Here's the recipe, if you're interested...

Celebrating Alden


We celebrated Alden on Friday night with cake, presents and a slip-n-slide. He did that whole fight-the-nap-when-mom-really-wants-me-to-nap-well thing that day. Such a phenomenon to me. He napped a total of an hour that morning, when usually he naps about 4 hours each day. So by 6pm, the birthday boy was starting to fall asleep. We quickly had to get the cake and presents so he would be awake for his own party! You can see his was a little zoned.
But it made for good snuggles all around! It was a super duper hot and muggy day. A heat advisory was even issued. So we spent half the party inside eating and then went outside for the cake and presents.
I love these two pics of Uncle Kyle and the girls finishing Alden's cake. Look at their faces...
My mom got him this soft tree stump full of woodland stuffed animals. The animals come out and you can put them back in the stump. Alden LOVES this thing and Ivar put it in his crib. So now every naptime and bedtime when I put Alden in his crib he sits up and gathers his stuffed friends telling everyone in a falsetto voice, "hiiiiii! hiiiiiii! hiiiiii!" I shut the door and he happily jib jabs with his friends until they all fall asleep.
And here you can see the very first picture of Ivar's new rabbit (bottom left). More on her later. But she is getting excellent care for Ivar. He is very diligent and is taking his rabbit responsibilities most seriously.
 I think my niece Sonna took this picture of Oma Zina, and I think it is so gorgeous of her! She and Lisa literally came from the airport, straight off a flight from Jersey right to the party. And she looks radiant.
 Mostly it was just good family time. I didn't have a theme. I didn't have a single decoration. We just ate and celebrated Alden. I made him a butter cake with cocoa-cream cheese frosting. It was delicious. And I made everyone else cream-cheese strawberry pie. That was important to me...that we have good desserts and that Alden have a little homemade cake.
We ended the night with a slip-n-slide and setting up the new pool Mimi and Papa got Alden. It was so steamy that night...perfect for getting out the garden hose.

So there you have it. Alden is One. What fun!

shopping with elsie

On Tuesday I took Elsie to Burnsville Center. I needed a new swimsuit and we both decided we could use a new summer dress. So we drove together on our mother-daughter date and Elsie talked a mile minute, thrilled that we were going to the mall together.

"Mom, don't you think the corn fields are just so pretty? I wish there weren't any houses at all and it was all just God's creation. What if that was all you could see? Just God's creation and nothing else?" And we talked about beautiful places all over the world where you can't tell that a person had ever been there. She tried to imagine it.

And then we got to the mall and Elsie was ecstatic. "Mom, would you like to live here? I would like to live here. Just think, then you could have your friends over for supper and everyone could eat Subway or Sbarro and then after you could ride the moving staircases together. Wouldn't you love to live in the mall?!!" And I commented that I still liked living back where there were cornfields and God's creation and just a few houses. But she assured me that we could live at both places and just choose each day where we wanted to sleep. After her big slice of Sbarro we went up and down the escalator six times in a row. She was delighted and so was I.

When we were in Old Navy she started to dance to the music. She saw that I was watching her and I said, "it's fine. It's fun to dance to the music." And then I started to dance a little. And then she froze and told me, "Mom, please don't do that." There was no one around (my childhood mall is so empty now...it made me sad!) but I still managed to embarrass my 5 year old.  In the dressing room she told me she would just close her eyes because, "it's kind of gross watching you try on swim suits." Oh my word, I laughed so hard.

We ended up finding the dresses above at H&M for $5 each. So we got two sets of matching dresses for the girls, and I love them so much. Wish they had it in my size. That would be my dream.

I came home and told Rory, "I just enjoyed a trip to the mall for the very first time in my life." I have never been a mall shopper, or a shopper of any kind. But shopping with my happy, chatty, delighted daughter was the best. And I found a swimsuit!

And it's not gross.

Alden's Birth Story

Alden is One today! To celebrate his big day, I decided to finish writing out his birth story. I had it half way done, and last night I completed it. These are always such a joy to write and reflect on. There is nothing like laboring and delivering and getting to meet the living soul that God has knit in your womb. Fearfully and Wonderfully Made. Here is Alden's Welcome to the World Story:

Alden. The word that comes to mind when I think about your arrival is Peaceful.

I suppose your birth story began on the days leading up to your arrival. You were cozy in my womb and didn't seem to feel any hurry to come out. So we waited through your due date and to be completely truthful, felt absolute peace about whenever you wanted to come. I was in high spirits. Our family took a lot of day trips together and it was a really precious and slow time in my memory. We walked around Carleton College one morning, walked around the Farmer's Market. We took care of lots of house projects. And I spent an hour or two up in the barn just with you each afternoon, as I had all summer. I have some special, peaceful memories of being up there praying and singing with you tucked inside.

It was a week past your due date that we went back for our scheduled doctors appointment. Everything still checked out fine, but clearly you were very comfortable. And given your sister Harriet's late arrival, the doctor gave me the paperwork to be induced the next evening.

For seven days past your due date I had been in such a peaceful place. But then I saw the paper with my full name and the plan for pitocin. I think I had been so sure that you would come naturally (my forth baby!) and I felt so, so disappointed that once again, I'd have to be induced.

On our way out of the doctor's office I went to the bathroom and started to cry. And cried quietly the whole way home. I couldn't even articulate why I was so sad yet. I didn't understand how badly I had wanted to go into labor naturally. Ivar and Elsie started naturally (though later required pitocin) and I think after Hattie I just really wanted to do this with my body taking the lead.

When we got home I walked up to the barn alone and cried some more. I walked up the stairs that I had walked up and down seven times the night before. I looked at all of the scripture I had written on the walls. And I just felt sad.

I wish I could say I did something super meaningful in that moment, but instead I got on my phone and started scrolling facebook. And while scrolling I got a text from my friend Jenna, "can we bring you kale, sausage and lentil soup for dinner?" I replied an immediate yes and then I cried some more, so grateful. That text sort of helped me figure out the next step. We would have dinner. And then bedtime. And then we'd get up. And the next night we'd go in and start things up so we could meet you.

So I calmed down, went in the house and later we ate a hearty meal. It was late that night that I remembered Jenna had put the dessert in the freezer telling me I may want to save them for after the kids went to bed. So I went to the freezer and found this box. I gasped because I had never seen this brand before and because we knew we were going to name you Alden if you were a boy. Joy overwhelmed me. I still didn't know if you were a girl or a boy, but somehow this little sweet moment reminded me that there was an actual person about to arrive. I didn't need to be sad. I needed to get excited, no matter how it was going to get started.

***
But to my great surprise, contractions began over night. The next morning your Mimi and Papa Marlene and Madison came to pick your brother and sisters up. And your dad and I hit the house like never before. I was moving bins of clothing, cleaned the kid's room, caught up on laundry, vacuumed the house. Then we went to Menards, CarTime, the dry cleaners (and dropped off our comforter that we forgot to pick up for 5 weeks!), and then to McDonalds drive through. Your dad asked what we should eat and I said, "something that I'll probably never want to eat again.") We went to a park for a picnic and it was a glorious day. Then we walked all over Carleton's campus and found a Hawaiian shaved ice food truck giving free snow cones to prospective students. And even though we were twice everyone's age and walking through contractions, they let us pass as future Carl's.

We went home and walked the gravel road, walked to the pavement to get a picture of the barn. Walked home and hoped things would intensify. They were strong enough that we decided not to go to the hospital to get things started. Instead we kept letting my body do it's thing.

Your dad and I ate cooked kale and snap peas for a late night snack. I definitely regretted that later when things intensified at the hospital... We watched Nepolean Dynomite and then went to bed for like 30 minutes. And then my water broke. I was concerned things would go very quickly now, and since we just had a cousin deliver a baby in the car on her way to the hospital, I felt like we should get going.

In retrospect, we probably should have called the hospital and they would have told us to wait a while longer. But instead we called from the car and the very kind nurse said to keep coming. When we got on the maternity floor it was nearly empty. I think one other room had a mom and baby in it. But every room was vacant. This was amazing because two nights earlier my doctor had said every room had been filled.

They checked me out and I think she knew right away we were a long ways off. I walked the halls and the contractions hurt so badly. I remember thinking, "I remember this. Labor pain is really awful." We walked the halls another time and then your Dad said he needed to lay down. He was feeling woozy. I wanted to lay down too. We slept until morning. Contraction stopped. In the morning our doctor came and started the pitocin. A while later I got an epidural. And at noon our doctor came back. Rory and I were both reading good books. The room was quiet and as she checked me she looked up with wide eyes, "Do you feel like you need to push?!!" "I don't feel much of anything, really." "Ok. You need to push. We are having this baby very soon."

So I put my book down.

Alden, I am writing this one year later and this moment is making me laugh so hard because this is still your disposition. I don't be mean to bother you, but could I get a diaper change over here? I wouldn't want to impose, but I'm ready to go down for my nap now. I don't want to interrupt your quiet book time, but I believe I am ready to be born.

So I started pushing and I think it went quite quickly. You came out and they lay you on my chest and said you were a boy! A boy! A boy! I was so surprised! And completely overjoyed. I could not believe I had two sons. Alden Ananias. I had chosen your middle name. Heard the story of Ananias at church a few months earlier and loved that Ananias was so brave and obedient, able to hear God's voice and to follow his instruction to go find Saul on Straight Street, the worst persecutor of Christians. Ananias was so courageous! He went to Saul and told him that Jesus was the true God. And Saul had a radical conversion and went on to be the very awesome Paul who spent his every waking moment telling of the transformative power of Jesus Christ! I love that Ananias was so faithful and could hear God's voice. That's my prayer for you, too.
So you were here. And I will tell you that I felt great! After having you I was walking around like normal. I have no idea how that is even possible, but I felt so good and strong. Right away! With your brother Ivar I had to have help getting my legs up into the bed for like a week after having him. But here I was, feeling great, wolfing down my french toast, sausage, yogurt and fruit cup with great joy.

You latched on right away and ate for a bit. But the next day you took a lot of time off to sleep. I had a nurse that was very concerned that you hadn't nursed on schedule. But I wasn't worried a bit. I knew you'd eat when you were hungry. And I was right. I started to feel a little empowered as a mother during my hospital stay. I began to realize that I knew quite a lot, mostly that I didn't need to worry about too much. I could be calm and confident. I had done this before. I felt steady.
We just got to stay one night because we came in the night before. That was a bummer because I wanted to rest and sleep at the hospital another night before going home. You were the first baby that we let the nurses take while we slept. That was a huge change, but we felt so comfortable because there were four nurses and you were one of two babies on the floor. We knew you'd be well cared for. and you were right across the hall. That was a sign of a very awesome maternity ward and two exhausted parents.
And then we came home. We came home to a farm fully in motion with so many things to do. But you have always been so up for anything...happy to be here...glad to be along for the ride. You are my calm and content and wonderful baby. And here we are now, one year later, and you continue to be exactly those things. Alden, you are a Pure Gift. Those were the words I heard while pregnant with you, and that is what you continue to be for me. I am so glad you are mine.

to market, to market, to kill a fat pig

Last night I went to bed utterly exhausted but at 1 am I woke up wide awake. I had sipped a Diet Coke all day yesterday, and the caffeine was having its way with me. Immediately I began to worry about loading the pigs up this morning to take to the butcher. How in the world were we going to convince two 250-300 pound pigs to step up into a dark trailer? It seemed so unlikely. Especially at 1 in the morning.

So I got up and began watching youtube videos on 'how to load pigs into a trailer.' And then all my fears were confirmed. Each video talked about how their first few times loading pigs were complete disasters. I watched story after story and the "lessons learned" were all things we already couldn't reverse. They said, "don't ever introduce the trailer the morning of the big load." Whoops. They said, "begin feeding the pigs in the trailer a week before you take them away so they are used to being in there and hop up gladly to be fed." Trouble was, we just got the trailer the night before from the butcher shop on loan. They said,  "Don't feed them the day before so they are extra hungry to hop in the trailer." Too late. They said,  "Load them up at night so you can sleep and don't have to worry about how it will go in the morning." No kidding!

I sat back at my computer and asked God, "Lord, what are we going to do?" And for some reason I felt I should make brownies. The thinking was that they would smell the brownies and want to go into the trailer to eat them. So I made brownies. At one point I saw the oven numbers. They said 350 and I realized I didn't know if that was the time or the oven temp. Because it was about 3:50 when the brownies came out.

Finally I went to sleep, only to wake up at 6:30, nurse Alden, get up, milk Darcy and then head to the pigs. We had neighbors come to help us and it went pretty well. The first pig, having smelled my brownies, got into the trailer no problem. He gobbled that brownie and I felt very satisfied and proud.

But the second pig saw his buddy up in the trailer and seemed wise and knowing. No brownie was going to coax him. He got close a few times. He got his front legs in the trailer many times. But never those last two legs. We tried many things but to no avail. Rory ended up taking the first pig to the butcher and came back home to try again with Biggie. That's what I started calling this pig. It was actually AbraHam, but today I called him Biggie...likely 300 pounds of big pig.

Biggie wasn't having it though. He had us figured out. And even though I had baked a chocolate cake while Rory was taking the first pig to the butcher, he still wouldn't be seduced into the dark trailer.

Rory continued to wait him out, baiting him with his water and feed in the trailer but by noon he decided he had better call the butcher to tell them he wouldn't be making it in. He had been at it since 7am. But they offered to send a worker out for $20 to help us. Brilliant. Best $20 spent. Ever.

They guy came and was built for moving pigs around. In fact, he made the comment that living pigs aren't nearly as heavy as dead-weight pigs. He ended up putting a five-gallon bucket on Biggie's head getting him good and discombobulated while tuckering him out. In the end he and Rory were able to push Biggie's hiney into the trailer. It was muscle against muscle but I think Biggie just could smell my delicious chocolate cake in the back of the trailer and decided to give up the fight. The sweaty, muddy, exhausted men might say it was their brute force and determination that got him in there.

Either way, it ended well. And we are so glad. We have SO MANY experiences like this, learning on the fly, trial and error, failing, trying again, learning from mistakes, watching videos, reading books, asking questions. It's a humbling way to live! It would be great to know all things about all things from the start. But every experience is brand new and at the end of the day we can lay down and say exactly what we learned that day. It keeps you on your toes. It robs you of your sleep. But there will be a day come August that we will eat a BLT and the B the L and the T will all have come from our own farm. And that is the reward for the exhausting, exhilarating and memorable days like today.

hattie helper

Hattie is busy. She is on the move. She has things to do. Mostly she needs to get outside. Right away.

And she is so earnest. Last week I went out to change the chicken's water and said to the kids as I left, "when I come back in I'll start making eggs for everyone..." I was gone maybe four minutes and when I came back in I found the 18-count egg carton precariously hanging off of the kitchen counter. And all of the skillets were out of the corner cupboard on the floor. There were forks strewn all across the kitchen table and Hattie was standing on a chair having gotten the salt and butter down from the cupboard. She looked at me so proudly while licking gobs of butter off of her fingers.

That sums her up. So is so helpful. It's just that she's 2 1/2. So depending on my own mood, I either see that mess as darling or as really, really exhausting. Because it is like that all day long. She never quits. She never stops. Hattie is always helping.
This morning I had her help me water the sun flowers. She loved it. She ran the hoses and filled the buckets and was so proud. And later she showed her sister that she knew how to turn on the hose. And how to point the hose at Elsie...

Local Woman Boasts Mother's Day Gift is Still Alive

On a farm in Minnesota, a mother of four is proud to report her little marigold is still alive. Given as a gift by her five-year-old daughter, planted in a pot with the glitter glue still wet, this little seedling may one day bloom. "Honestly," said the mother, "I was amazed it made it home without someone spilling the pot of dirt between the end of the service and the time we actually loaded up the car. That unto itself, is impressive." But survive it did. And even though the mother only remembers to water it every week or so, one little shoot is still showing serious promise. "I'll be honest. There were five seeds that started in this pot, and this last one is my saving grace." She commented that she is grateful for this little marigold shoot because her daughter deeply cares about the survival of this plant. "I don't know what she'd do if this seed doesn't eventually flower. There is a lot of pressure on this whole thing to succeed...on the flower and on me." The pot is a stunner though, with the use of every color of the rainbow in a lovely design of glitter and sparkle. "Hats off to the Sunday School worker who decided to whip out the glitter glue with the 3-5 year olds. That's not lost on me here." When asked what other gifts she received for her special day she replied, "My son set the breakfast table with forks, knives and spoons and made place cards showing where we each should sit. And when I came in from doing chores he said proudly, 'and now all you have to do is make eggs and toast!' And I gladly did. Just as I will gladly continue to nurse this little seedling until it flowers." (Photo Above: The special Marigold next to a tupperware filled with dirt, weeds and a walnut that the mother has also been faithfully watering as requested by her five-year-old.)

well that was a good idea

For Christmas, my sister gave my parents tickets to the Guthrie. And then for my birthday I got a ticket to the Guthrie. And then in April she texted us all to tell us she had purchased our tickets to see West Side Story in June. And then June came and we went!

It was such a special night. I drove to my folks and then we drove to Annika's and then we all drove to a great Thai restaurant right across the street from the theater. We shared wantons and main dishes and then mom said that she thought we had time to walk for ice cream before the play. And I shouted excitedly that there is just no doubt these people are my birth family! Bone of their bone, flesh of their flesh, I come from these people. (There never was actually any doubt. Except for when I was little and asked if I was from Mars because Mat told me I was an experiment baby from another planet, but if I told Mom and Dad, they'd have to send me back. Still one of my favorite stories of all time.)

So we walked to Izzy's ice cream where a cone cost an incredible amount of money and I enjoyed every bite. When we were done with our ice cream my mom said, "Well that was a good idea." And I told her that we will write that on her gravestone one day. Because she says that after every treat, and it is always true. And it usually was her idea! I remember so many family vacations when she would announce it was time for ice cream. And it was. Ice cream always helped moral and turn everyone around. And then she'd say, "Well that was a good idea."

Then we went to the play, and it was great. It was an updated 2018 version of West Side Story, while still using all the same music and lines. It was really well done. Theatre is so fun. There was a graphic #metoo scene that makes me pause from giving it my full endorsement, because I think you can leave more to suggestion and still give the scene it's full weight. But this didn't leave much to the imagination and I wish I hadn't seen it. Annika agreed. But the other 97% of the play was great and well done and musical theatre is always so impressive to me!

The very best part was just being with my family. We had a really great night together and it was so fun to be out and about with them. We missed Mat though. Next time we'll have to schedule this sort of thing when he is in town!

I crawled into bed a little after midnight and Rory mumbled something about Ivar getting sick. Elsie was sick late Sunday night, but I had chalked it up to staying up too late and eating too much sugar. But then I woke up at 2 with the flu. And then Hattie woke up at 4 with the flu. Yesterday was very miserable and we have been laying low ever since.

Also, have you ever milked a goat with the full-blown flu? Not recommended, really. We pumped and dumped, if you will. Tossed the milk as soon as we were done, but it had to be done and Rory hasn't tried his hand at it yet. This morning I woke up and had vertigo (I often get it after laying horizontal too long) so I did my vertigo exercises and went out in the rain and milked a goat while spinning with vertigo. Also not really recommended.

It's been a rough 24 hours. But when I look at this picture above, I feel very, very happy. Thanks for a great night Annika. I hope and pray the three of you perfectly healthy now...

dressing the part

So I got bib overalls. I bought them brand new. I did a lot of online searching before I found the pair I wanted. I started out looking for a pair of coveralls to wear over my every day clothes. But that just seemed so hot. I didn't actually want a double layer of clothing, I just wanted to stop ruining my normal clothes.

I have been weeding so much this spring and the knees in all of my jeans were all thinning. And I've been out with the animals much more than other years...it just became time to get something that functioned on the farm.

If you look up "overalls" on amazon, you will see that the models pair them with a pair of high heels. I don't do that. I pair mine with rain boots.

And I will say they are totally and completely practical. I took apart an animal stall with the impact driver and held every screw that I removed in my upper pocket. I love them because I never have to hoist them back up after bending over and they are just flat out the comfiest things ever.

Today I woke up, took my pajamas off, put my overalls on, went and milked the goat, changed into every day clothes, and then Rory needed my help so he could give a lamb a shot. So I put my overalls back on to hold the lamb. After, I spent some time in the garden and then came back in and switched into my normal clothes again. This can happen a few times a day and it sounds like a little much, but it's better than ruining all of my normal clothes.

I had a funny dream while in the midst of making my decision between coveralls and overalls. In the dream I ran into my best friend from high school, Heidi. And I told her, "Guess what I'm going to get?!! Overall shorts! They're so functional! They're not hot, but they stay up and I'm so excited." And in the dream she said, "Bec, I don't think grown women should still be wearing overall shorts." I replied, "But you wore them in your senior pictures!" And she said, "Yes, but at was 1999. And I was 17 years old."

That dream still makes me laugh because I was crestfallen. And though I never was actually considering the overall shorts, in the dream I was so disappointed. Also, I fully recognize that overall shorts may be all the rage right now, totally in style, but I would never know.

All this to say, I got bib overalls. Just like my Grandpa Bredberg who wore them every day that I knew him. Except when he was at church or at Family Bible Camp. And since Grandpa B was cool, I'm pretty sure this means I am cool too.

You can see a very unflattering picture (I believe this is because bib overalls are not intended to flatter!) on Rory's blog, where he wrote one very, very kind blog post about all we've been up to on the farm this spring. 

I'm a milkmaid!


Rory built the milk stand early this spring. And then life picked up and one night he told me, "we can't milk Darcy. We just have too much going on to add that into the mix." And I agreed, but we were bummed. We have been waiting and wanting to milk her for a long time. But I knew this was probably the best and wisest decision.

But then the next day he said, "we just have to!" And I said, "I know!"

And so we are. And I am SO GLAD we are. I have taken up the lead on this project, the milkmaid, if you will. I have watched youtube videos and read blog posts. I have always said we are so, so fortunate to homestead in the age of google. I made our sterilization spray, bought brand new rags (oxymoron, except it's important to have rags that remain goat-only rags!)

Saturday morning was our very first morning. We put the two goat kids into a separate pen each night at 8pm. Then at 8am we head out and milk Darcy who is ready to be milked. And when we're done, she lets down a second round of milk for her goat kids and they are reunited all day long until 8pm. It means we only milk once a day, which is really great.
This was my face on Saturday morning before we began. And while milking. And after milking. I just took to this new pastime with so much joy! I love milking Darcy! It is awkward. And I have to tell my pinky to pitch in nearly every time. There is a definite knack to hand milking. But Rory is super impressed with my progress and I am so happy to have this farm chore added to my morning routine. I was actually pretty fast this morning, my third morning ever! 

Plus, I love Darcy. If she was a human, we'd be great friends. She's so good to me. A little stomping at first, and the first day she got her hoof right in the bucket. But I don't blame her. She will turn her head back in the stand and make eye contact with me like, "what on earth are you up to back there?" But she's patient and I tell her she's such a good goat. And she let's me keep working. 
This was my first day's milk, and we didn't actually drink this stuff because of the whole hoof-in-the-bucket thing. But the past two days have been clean! I bring the milk in the house and filter it with a coffee filter into my mason jar. Then I put that jar right into an ice water bath for an hour to chill as quickly as possible. I read that the faster you chill your milk the less goat-y it will taste.

After church on Sunday we all had a glass together. And guess what? We loved it. All Groves were in agreement. We couldn't actually tell a difference between this milk and cow's milk. And then it had added points of goodness from "fresh from our farm." That always excites us so much.

So now I'm ordering cheese making supplies. And once again, I never saw this coming. But here I am. Milking a goat. Cheers! (And here's a link to my favorite goat website and a darling milking video that I thought about OFTEN the first day)

hay day

Before we moved to the farm, I had a few favorite fields that I always thought were so stunning when they had big round bales of hay scattered throughout them. But I didn't have any idea how hay was made. So here's a quick rundown if you haven't been around a hay field before. 

When there is a 3 or 4 day stretch of dry weather with no rain in the forecast and the hay is tall enough to be baled a farmer will cut his tall green grass (and alfalfa and clover) with a big mowing implement. That grass will begin to dry out. The next day, the farmer might go back over the field with a "tedder" to toss the grass so the hay can thoroughly dry out. If the hay is not completely dry it will either mold in the field (this happens if it gets rained on too many times after it is cut) or will be too moist to bale, or turn into compost in your barn (due to moisture in the hay) and set your barn on fire. Honestly, you cannot imagine how stressful hay making can be! You are threading a needle in time, hoping for sunshine and low humidity.

Once the cut grass mix is dry and ready, the farmer will go over the field for the third time with the rake to move the hay into rows. Finally, the baler is pulled down the rows of dry grass, alfalfa and clover and bales will pop out the other end onto the field or into a wagon. Then those bales are loaded up and put into a barn or as I sometimes see, shrink wrapped in white plastic. Which does not look lovely, in my opinion. But it must be functional.

After the hay is removed, the grass will begin to grow again and in another month, the farmer will find themselves back in the field doing all of this all over again, looking for that lovely window of sunny weather. You can usually get three sometimes four cuttings in a season on one field. This was our first cutting of the season. And our very first ever with our own tractor and baler!
So that's the how-to of baling hay. But then there is a whole other how-to. Like, how to drive a tractor. How to attach a baler. How to thread the baling twine through the baler. And how to do all of this before the rain comes.

At lunch on Thursday Rory looked at me and said, "I have no idea how I am going to get through the next two hours. I have no idea how to do any of this." And I commented that it was probably like jumping in a pool and figuring out how to swim by kicking real hard. He said, "no. it's like someone set you in front of a computer and tells you to start programming." That helped me understand how he felt! This was all so foreign. Just because we bought the tractor didn't mean he knew how to drive the tractor! (A 1969 John Deere drives completely different than a 1981 Kubota.)

Thankfully we had a neighbor and friend from church, Brian, who stopped by to talk him through each step. It really was so helpful to have them there. Rory drove the tractor in circles around the yard, figuring out all the different gears.
Do you notice the clouds that rolled in for this picture? We did too! It began to sprinkle, which put some serious pressure on the afternoon. But it never actually rained or even sprinkled hard. We were so grateful and glad!
And while Dad learned how to drive a tractor, Hattie was learning how to take turns pulling the wagon. Both were working very hard at learning. And Alden brightened the day, as he always does. He just doesn't know where his pants keep going.
Also, we have great neighbors. We had a whole team show up, including the neighbors who cut the hay on Monday for us (we don't have a sickle mower yet) and raked it and were coming by to bale half of the field with their own baler as payment for doing all of that great work for us. Look at that great team!
 And then there was this supportive peanut gallery:
After hitching up to the baler (like backing up a cruise ship to a trailer hitch), Rory was off on his tractor with his baler in tow. When we saw the first bale begin to stick out my neighbor Mary yelled, "it's crowning!" That was the funniest thing I heard all day. Because it was that exciting! We were doing it! Our own hay in our own field was being baled with our own tractor and baler. It was a big deal for us.
Unfortunately when Rory took the first corner at the end of the field, something in the shaft to the baler busted off. The part was very old and possibly cracked already, but fortunately is replaceable. But baling was done for the day.
And because our neighbors are THE BEST, they said they'd just bale the whole field before it rained. They brought over their big equipment and the kids settled in for more farmlife entertainment.
I believe this is the actual definition of field trip.
After driving the tractor and the broken baler back to the barn Rory told Brian, "I consider this a partial victory. I learned to drive the tractor and I actually DID bale hay." Brian said, "That's right. You drove the tractor and baled some hay and then your equipment broke down. And that's farming."

looking lovely

Rory mowed the lawn the other night right after my dad had weed whipped and all of the sudden our farm looked gorgeous. You know how that takes a while each spring? Our farm went through a real gnarly phase after the winter and we had lots of piles to put away like cinder blocks, a wood chipper covered in blue tarp, piles of wood and lots of weeds. But we have been wood chipping our trees, weeding like crazy and building new fences so that all of the sudden it all looked lovely again.

I have so much to write about it seems, but I can't seem to catch up. So I'll just tell you one thing I've been wanting to share for a while now: Rory and I sheared a sheep together. We had a professional come out last Saturday to do all the sheep, but weeks before he was scheduled to come we had 90 degree days and a Ewe who had five inches of wool on her. We had to help! So we ordered hand shears on Amazon, watched a few Youtube videos of Amish shearing sheep and gave it a go.

I am so sorry we don't have pictures. That will be a regret forever. Because the words 'hack job' come to mind. Though that maybe makes it sound worse than it was. We were decent. It took us two nights, working from "the kids are in bed...let's go!" to sundown. We took turns pinning the Ewe down (think WWF) and shearing. It actually was good fun and every snip felt like we were liberating that sweet Ewe from a northface parka on a July summer day. She actually acted grateful and relaxed after she figured out what we were up to.

So add that to the list of unexpected life experiences. I can now say, "I have sheared a sheep."

When we were all done and walking back to the house I said to Rory, "I just want to point out that you married a really good sport." And he replied, "Well, you knew what you were getting into when you married a computer programmer."

Exactly. 

every age and every stage

A random list of things I want to remember about each kid...

+Recently when I hand Hattie her lunch or breakfast or do something she likes she will yell, "Yayyyy, Mama!" And I think it's so nice to hear such affirming words. I've started saying it aloud to myself after accomplishing other tasks like weeding the front flower beds. "Yayyyy, Mama!"

+When I hold Alden, I often pat his back. It's sort of just a habit I guess. But he has now started patting my shoulder whenever I am patting his back and I'll tell you what. A pat on the back still feels nice. I think he's also telling me I'm doing a good job.

+Elsie's grief with Miracle was very interesting to watch. She cried for hours. She wouldn't go outside for days. Now she goes and sits by his grave and prays for him. She draws pictures of him as a "huge ram in heaven."

That weekend we read two books aloud to help us pass the time and Elsie crawled into my lap and lay like a little baby wrapped into me as I read aloud to everyone. I loved it as I realized at one point that Ivar is too big now to do this, and my days with Elsie this little are passing too. So I'm planning to read a lot of books aloud this summer...

+Ivar is totally seven. Today he asked me, "mom, do you know what the last letter is in The Hobbit comic book? Guess." So I guessed for a while. And then he told me, "it's S. You want to know what word is the last word?" "For sure I want to know." "Goodness. That's the last word." Age seven, man. It's so awesome.

saying goodbye

We knew Miracle’s vet visit on Friday was unlikely to have a good outcome. It had been a week since Miracle stopped walking on his own and he was growing more lethargic each day. Despite everything we tried, nothing seemed to be working. It seemed his muscles just could not keep up with the weight of his body as he grew. He was barely able to lift his head by the end and it was hard to see him struggle. He didn't like being unable to move as much as we didn't like watching his frustration.

So we spent time saying goodbye Friday morning before Rory brought Miracle in. It was terribly sad. We bottle fed Miracle for 10 weeks. He has lived in our house for two different weeks. He knows our family well, and we loved him so much.

Just as we were saying our final goodbyes, a rain cloud moved overhead and thunder began rumbling the earth. And as we cried, the thunder rumbled. Then Rory said it was time for him to leave with Miracle and we all cried and big raindrops began to fall. Rory carried Miracle into the back of the minivan and as we stood in the garage the sky opened up, it poured down and by the time Rory was pulling out of the driveway, the sun was back out. I took a picture of the sky just so I'd remember that strange moment of feeling seen from above.
The appointment went as we had suspected. Rory had been giving Miracle antibiotics, Vitamin B-complex and a host of other shots all week long. After a thorough exam the vet said there was nothing more we could do. Whatever disease was affecting him was only going to get worse. Rory returned home with Miracle's body and we decided to bury him under the tree he would lay under, waiting for one of us to come outside the house.

I will say that these last ten weeks have been very, very special for our family. This little lamb brought us so much joy and love. We slowed our lives down for his little life, set alarms, walked to the barn on snowy, blowy nights at 2am. We do not regret a moment of caring for this lamb, even though the ending was not at all what we expected. Each day I say part of Psalm 34 to the kids as we begin homeschooling. I say, "Come my children, listen to me, and I will teach you the fear of the Lord. Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies, turn from evil and do good. Seek peace and pursue it."

Many times while caring for Miracle I would think those words, "whoever of you loves life" and affirm it to myself again: we love life. Every moment spent working towards the health of this little lamb's life felt worth it. We don't regret a moment of care. I don't resent having gotten out of bed so many nights to go and feed him out in the barn. It was worth it because we love life and we loved Miracle.