a joyous update on Little Love

I wanted to post all of this last night, but when the time came, I wanted to go to bed more. First, the mama Ewe is doing great. We are completely amazed that she is. Of course there still could be complications with infection but so far she is doing great and nursing Twin One and is eating and drinking and looking quite healthy. 

And then there is Little Love. I want you to know I had hope that he might be able to walk by next week, but I wasn't actually very hopeful. His hind legs could support nothing. They bent in under his body and I had to stretch them into position over my thigh to get them to extend properly. He couldn't support his bottom, so I always was holding his diaper up with one hand, trying to train his legs where to go. Rory was working with him a lot too. 

And then last night, just before dinner, we tried his exercises again. The truth is, Little Love wanted to stand so badly. He was trying so, so hard. And for just a few seconds, he stood on his own four legs. Then he stood a little longer, and backed up a bit. Rory kept catching him and helping him back to his feet. And then, all at once, he took a few steps forward.

We were overjoyed! None of us saw this coming! We thought we were just being kind to this guy, giving him the best life possible, as long as possible. And now we're watching a flat out miracle, right in our living room. Ivar and I have been singing, "We call out to dry bones, come alive! come alive!" one of our favorite worship songs. And we're watching his bones come back to life!

It's fun to have a little lamb in the house, especially with Holy Week beginning on Sunday. There are so many things we will talk about...the resurrection of the body, life everlasting, the lamb of God, the ultimate sacrifice, conquering death, defeating sin, death and disease. And the Hope of Glory filling our hearts because we know what we are seeing is true.

Tuesday with Little Love

Tuesday we woke up after bottle feeding the lamb during the night and found that not much had changed. The lamb could not stand. He would kick his legs wildly trying to get to his feet, but it was hard to watch. He would spin around and it was clearly frustrating for him.

So we made the very hard decision that we would bring him to the vet to put him down. Ivar cried a terrible cry. He couldn't catch his breath. Elsie was slower to understand what was happening until she clarified, "wait. are they going to kill him?" And then she was a wreck. I wanted to be the one to bring him to the vet. I wanted to be there and felt really bonded to the little guy. Elsie had decided earlier in the morning that we would call him Love, and it stuck. We were all in love with Little Love.

So I loaded him up, crying hard myself, and drove the truck to the vet. But just before I got there Rory called and said, "I just found another case like this on a lamb forum. And I think there are a few things we could still try." So I brought our little lamb into the vet, ready to ask her opinion, still uncertain of the ending of this day. I waited in line a long time behind a family with a big dog. And when I finally got to check in they couldn't find me in the system and we realized I was at the wrong vet.

So I loaded back up and drove two blocks down the road to our actual vet. And there I was told that I just missed my vet by five minutes, and she was on her way to do surgery on a cow and wouldn't be back in today. So I called Rory and he said to go back to Vet #1.

I did and she was as great as our other vet. And I just want to say that vets are great. This vet gave our lamb a bunch of shots of vitamins and talked to me for close to an hour and sent me home with a bunch of B complex shots and penicillin.

So we came back home! I had been gone for 3 hours, arriving home just before dinner. And when I got home I found this on the table from my incredibly thoughtful friend JJ. She had been at Taco Night and heard all about my day and then brought this over for me. What can I even say? I wanted to cry. Dinner was literally on the table when I came home from my emotional day. What a gift.

Rory and I gave Little Love a bucket bath in the shower. We scrubbed him well with Johnsons and Johnsons and got him all fluffed up and dried off. And then we fed him, I set my alarm, woke up to feed him again and then it was Wednesday.

I should say that I am super exhausted this week. Alden is still waking up to eat and now the Lamb Alarm is also waking me up. Rory does the 6am feeding, but I'm on for 2am and that's a real hard time to crawl out of bed and change a lamb's diaper.

But it is good. This is fun. We are living an incredible week. I keep asking the Lord what he wants us to learn through all of this. And ultimately, it is just darling to have a little lamb hanging out with us all day long. And the lamb made incredible progress today! If it can continue to make strides each day like it did today, we will be on our way to walking.

He can roll up now and keep his front legs in front of him. That's a huge difference. Every 4 hours he is fed a whole milk/raw egg/heavy cream mix and I give him some serious Physical Therapy. I want him to make it so badly. He has to walk if he is going to get to stick around. A terrible thought, but we are literally doing all we can to help this Little Love. I know we could be setting ourselves up for serious heart break, but we are going to give this guy his very best shot to survive.

So that's the update! I know I've been over-blogging but I just wanted to be caught up to real time so badly so that I can share each day how he's doing. And now I've done it! I'll feed him here at 10pm and go hit the hay until it's time to feed him again.

Little Love

(Continued from yesterday's post...)

So I have lots of things I could write about that all happened on Monday. I could write about co-hosting 45 women to a taco dinner at our church. Or I could write about having my nieces here for the day and how awesome they are and how in a sad twist, Sonna got the flu right before they were to leave. I could write about how we are suddenly bottle feeding a lamb in our house and how I burned through every beach towel and old towel before someone at Taco night told me I could put a diaper on the lamb. I could write about how Rory evaporated 35 gallons of maple syrup during all of these events in our new Sugar Shack. Or I could write about how I saw an entire uterus first thing in the morning.

I think we'll start with the uterus...

At 5:00am on Monday morning Rory went out to the barn to check on the little twin lamb #2 that didn't seem quite right. And he called my phone immediately, "Becca. The mom is dying. It's so bad. I need you out here."

So I joined him in the barn, leaving a walkie talkie for Mara, Sonna and Svea with a note that said, "we're in the barn, let us know if you need anything." And when I got to the barn it was bad. Really, really bad. The mama had birthed her entire uterus but it was still attached to her insides. She was laying on her side, barely alive and let me tell you, you don't actually ever want to see an inside out uterus. Ever.

Ever.

It had octopus suction things all over it and it was huge and blobby. I could say more but I guess I'll leave it at that. Rory was on the phone with the vet and I was watching a youtube video on how to put a uterus with straw all over it back into a Ewe. It didn't look very promising.

Also, Twin #2 was still in the same position as the night before and definitely not thriving. I told Rory I was going to go get a warm bottle of milk for Twin #2 and he said, "please don't be gone long. I really want you here with me." This was traumatic. It was still night outside, the stars were brilliant in the sky and after seven healthy mammal births, this experience was about to turn us into real deal farmers.

The vet arrived and she was wonderful. I told her we had seven kids in the house and she said she had two in the car she had running. Her 5 and 2 year old were along and watching a movie because her husband milks cows in the mornings. Later, when she drove away I told the kids she had her kids in the car and Svea said, "That is not a lazy lady." Nope. She was awesome. Rory and I watched as she slowly put the Ewes insides back on her inside and stitched her up. It was much more involved than that one sentence but I'll keep moving.

She took a look at Twin Two and couldn't figure out what was wrong. He was kicking his legs wildly, but unable to stand. His neck was curved, so it seemed like it might be scoliosis or something with his spine. But he was unable to walk, and since his mother had just gone through quite the ordeal herself, he was unable to nurse. So we were told to bring Twin Two into the house to warm it up, feed it and make it comfortable.

Which is obviously the most exciting thing that could happen to a house full of children. A darling lamb coming in to be bottle fed? So fun. The trouble was that everyone knew the fact that it couldn't walk was a really bad sign. The vet said to give it a day or two to see if it improved, but then we'd likely put it to sleep. And that was a terribly sad thought.

We went along with our day together. We held the baby kittens (we had three born last week!) and did a morning of homeschool, the kids all went out to play, Rory fired up the evaporator in our garden shed (we turned it into a sugar shack!), and we fed the lamb every four hours. Between the maple syruping, the seven kids, the little lamb pooping all over my beach towels in the downstairs shower, and the still-uncertain health of the Ewe in the barn, life felt a bit full and over the top.

At 4:00 I had to leave because I was hosting 46 women at my church with a friend for a Taco Night. (Which, by the way, I totally recommend as a fun gathering. We just had five get-to-know you questions on the table and asked that everyone get to know two new women throughout the evening. It was fellowship at its finest with no programming or agenda. And it was so good.)

I got home from church around 8:30 and found all 4 kids still awake, excited to tell me that poor Sonna go the flu and threw up all over the upstairs bathroom. And how Dad had cleaned it all up and was still tending the maple syrup and that the girls went home (which was planned) and that the baby lamb needed to be fed. I went out to the Sugar Shack and caught up with Rory about our evenings and then fed the lamb until 10 when I positively fell into bed. I woke up to my alarm at 2 and bottle fed the lamb. And then Alden wanted to nurse. Rory fed the lamb at 6 and I woke up at 8. It was hard to get out of bed because I was exhausted and because today was the day we had to decide if Twin Two would ever walk or if he needed to be put down...

I'm 37!

Sunday I woke up and I was 37. And the strangest thing happened. I didn't remember that it was my birthday for about an hour. Not until I heard Rory say, "Elsie, go wish your mom a happy birthday..." I do believe this is my first birthday where it slipped my mind that it was my special day.

The day was fantastic. We went to church and came home and celebrated with my sister and cousins and all of our families. It was so great. We feasted and played and caught up and laughed. There were 14 kids and 8 parents and it felt like a real celebration. At one point I went into the upstairs bathroom and found it unflushed. The kids were all playing up there and whoever had last used the restroom must have been feeling much better. So I went to flush it and the toilet handle just fell right off the toilet! I thought this was so funny. And thankfully the dads were able to fix it quite easily.

We celebrated most of the day and then everyone went home around 5 or 6.  But Mara, Sonna and Svea got to sleepover because it is their spring break! Mara and Sonna and I went out to the barn to do the evening chores and laying right in the glow of the heat lamp was a new baby lamb! It was quite the surprise because I didn't even know the mama was pregnant.

The Ewe and lamb looked great. Rory was so pleased to hear the happy news and then Mara and Sonna and I loaded up and went grocery shopping, came home and put the groceries away. The kids all went to bed and then around 10pm Rory and I went back out to the barn to check on the little newborn lamb. And lo and behold, there was another lamb, laying in the straw. Twins! This one looked a lot smaller and was just trying to stand up. We stayed for a long while watching the little life, not wanting to intrude, but also wanting to be sure it was healthy. It didn't seem completely right but it had just been born, so we left the mama to do her thing and we went to bed.

Now wait until you hear about my second day of my 37th year...and the second day of life for that little tiny lamb having trouble getting to its feet...

cold applesauce

AldenEating from Becca Groves on Vimeo.

I could watch the first 12 seconds of this over and over and over again. Alden is such a joy and delight to me. Just a happy presence to have around each and every day.

He's had a habit of waking up a few times each night, sometimes to nurse, but often just to snuggle. I'll hold him upright in the glider rocker, wrap my robe around him with his blanket over his back and he tucks his head right under my neck. I'll pat his back and he drums his fingers on my arm. Sometimes he looks up to smile at me and then burrows back down finding his spot under my neck again.

For a while I was concerned that this was creating a bad habit. He's clearly waking up and calling out for a midnight snuggle which is definitely not baby-wise. But one night as my heart swelled eleven sizes as he fell asleep on my chest I realized that this moment is the WHOLE POINT OF EVERYTHING I DO. I keep the house clean and teach the kids and feed my family which is all important. But nothing is more important than purely loving my kids, letting them know they are safe and secure and cared for in every way.

And though I might be sleepy, it leaves me so satisfied.

meet the pigs

I know you've been clicking refresh, dying for another pig post, so here are the pigs! Rory thought it was terrible that the first picture I posted of them had poo smeared all over the cage. So here they are all tidy and poo-free. And I've come up with names! The one in the back is with darker brown coloring is named Abraham. (Emphasis on that last syllable.) The one in front is a bit smaller than Abraham and quite timid, so I've started calling him Timothy (sounds like timidity, I guess...). The first day Ivar and I got in the pen and fed them old kiwis and they loved them. Yesterday I got in there and fed them all of our food leftovers and they snorted that up happily as well.

I'm sort of skittish of the pigs. Which is a problem because they are skittish of me and I'm supposed to be calming them down. But they snort and grunt when you least expect it and it's a bit intimidating. Maybe we'll all be tamed by the time they move outside in a month...

Aunt Stella turns 100!

Last Thursday we were supposed to drive to Iowa to celebrate my Great Aunt Stella's 100th Birthday but Alden got the flu. He seemed to be better by Friday morning so we thought we'd maybe try to get to the party, but then he threw up again. I believe the fine people at SunnyCrest Nursing Home were probably very glad we didn't show up with the flu virus.

It was good we were wise enough not to go because Friday afternoon Ivar and Elsie got the flu for a solid 12 hours, throwing up every 30 minutes. Elsie was on the hour and the half hour. Ivar was on the 15's and 45's. It was crazy. I was on Elsie, Rory was on Ivar. Rory shines in these moments. When one of our kids is sick he is fully involved and helpful with laundry, clean up, comforting and bedding changes. He's a total winner. And probably because he was so helpful, on Saturday Rory got it and I had to leave him to go get my pigs. So far Hattie and I have somehow dodged this one. Here's to hoping we really are spared. Ivar had a little relapse last night but today everyone was well.

I will say I was very, very disappointed to miss Aunt Stella's party. My sister and her girls and my aunt and uncle were all there and we had been so excited for this huge celebration. We made cards and talked about the number 100 a lot. We counted to 100 by 5's and 10's and 2's. Elsie noted that our ziplock sandwich bags had 100 in them, so "we should give Stella a box of her own ziplocks!" We figured out what year it will be when we each turn 100. We were pumped and ready to party.

But we'll just have to wait for her 105th, I suppose.

In the midst of all of our big birthday preparation, Rory came across this gem. I cannot get enough of Flossy. Everything about this newscast is perfect.

my pigs!

I just want to tell you my happy news! I got my pigs today! I have been waiting, and getting so anxious for this day to arrive and here we are. They are stinky and grunt and snort just like you'd imagine. So far, they seem very chill and relaxed in their new pig pen in the barn, but Darcy the goat seems almost phobic of them. She's very concerned they are living next door to her now.

We've had quite the weekend with Alden, Ivar, Elsie and Rory getting the flu. I think I should have gotten it too because I was feeling so sick for a while last night, but kept thinking that I simply could not get sick. There was no time. I had to pick up my pigs today.

So here we are. I brought them to the barn on the sled. They are two boys. Hereford pigs and growing quickly, already too big for me to hold. (Though I haven't actually tried yet...) My job now is to sit in their pig pen and feed them donuts as I try to tame them the best I can. That's my best hope for when they grow to be 500+ pounds and I need them to obey me.

Add 'love of pigs' to the long list of farm things I never saw coming. I never thought I would be genuinely thrilled and excited for pigs. But here I am. Off to google a good pair of coveralls to wear when I'm sitting in the pig pen.

your monday morning hattie joy

I had just said, "have you seen Hattie in a while? She's never this quiet." When she came down Rory said quietly to me, "I'll discipline, you get the camera." Thankfully this picture was taken back in January. But I kept the picture for a day like today...

Hattie is so much work these days. She is nonstop, and we are exhausted. Today she got up way earlier than usual and was a hot mess because of it. She ate three breakfasts and then got in trouble because she still wanted rice krispies. Things are about to get a little rough around here as boundaries are put down and enforced. It will be worth it, but sometimes you just have to step back and make a plan to help shape the character and obedience of your child.

At 9:30 today I called my sister who is home with her girls for a snow day (congrats, girls!). Hattie was noisy and frustrated in the background the entire conversation so at the very end I said, "Alright, well, I'll load Hattie up and push her sled in your direction. Be looking for her in about an hour. Just grab her when she whips past your window." We laughed and Annika said she really did wish she could take Hattie for the day. I hung up and Ivar commented that he didn't like me saying I would do something like that. So I apologized to him.

A bit later Hattie came back in the room with the black mop bucket on her shoulder. Inside the bucket she had placed a bunch of butter knives, a big serving spoon and a sippy cup. She said, "Bye, bye, Mama." I asked her where she was going and she said, "Onkuh! Shshshshed." (which means Annika and Jedd). She had heard me and had packed up, ready to hop on her sled.

I picked her up and told her she wasn't really going there and that I wouldn't really send her away on a sled. I told her I was glad we could spend the day together and that I love being her mom.

We walked into the kitchen and then I saw the new box of Rice Krispies dumped all over a chair that had been pushed to the counter so she could reach the cereal. Krispies were dumped in a trail from the chair to the laundry room and she looked at me and shook her head and agreed, "No, no, no."

three things you cannot do without

Last night I was trying to find video from Billy Graham's funeral service, and while looking around on youtube, I came across this sermon. It dawned on me then that I had never actually heard a full Billy Graham sermon from one of his crusades. So I started watching.

Oh please watch this. And watch the whole thing, all the way to the end, when the choir sings. The sermon is so powerful. It builds and builds. It was a joy to watch a man so gifted by God and empowered by the Holy Spirit do the work he was so clearly called to do.

You will not regret spending 30 of your minutes listening to this man preach to you today.

it's tree tapping time!

Here is is, the very last of our 2017 batch of Maple Syrup, just in time for the trees to start pouring out the new stuff! We have fun plans this year of converting the shed next to our chicken coop into a Sugar Shack. We have a friend from church who did this by raising the roof, putting in vents and adding a chimney. So that's the plan.

Rory got a new evaporator pan this year and we are excited to get our Sugar Shack all set up. I've spent the last two days cleaning the garage and moving stuff from the shed into the garage and barn. There are few things I enjoy more than cleaning and organizing and sorting and making a system where there needs to be a system.

This weekend I have our babysitter coming to watch the kids so Rory and I can tackle the barn. Do you know what a barn is? A big garage. It just collects stuff. Stuff just ends up there. Plus we had the construction out there, so there is still clean up from that, as well as the whole storage area that had to be emptied into the main space until the construction was completed. Now we need to put it all back where it came from.

Some people may not get excited about this sort of task, but I am totally serious when I say that I can't wait to hit it out there. Rory would like me to capitalize on this love of organizing and systematizing some day. I would too. I think I'd be very happy going into people's homes and helping them sort through their stuff.

So that's our weekend plan. Sort and clean and organize and get everything set up for Project Season. We tapped our maple trees today and pick up our pigs next Sunday. There is much to be done!

fun for the fly

Elsie told me, "Mom, I can't pick these toys up because this is the little park I made for the fly that is crawling around on the carpet. I think he is dying."

songs for lent

The church I grew up in held Lenten services each Wednesday night. We sang no Alleluja's for those 40 days and things were thoughtful and weighty. Ash Wednesday was a powerful service that, just like a tragic funeral, reminded you of your mortality. A harsh reality we are so great at avoiding most of the time. Ash Wednesday set the tone. From dust you came to dust you shall return. We then had 40 days to contemplate what that meant. Wondering how our sinful selves stood a chance in front of an Almighty God. And over and over it was preached to us: you don't stand a chance.

That's the point of the 40 days. Those days would get me good and uncomfortable, aware of my sin, aware of my need for rescue. And then the gospel of Jesus would be proclaimed: You don't stand a chance in front of our Almighty God, but God loved us so much that he sent a rescuer to save us. His son came and died on a cross, the ultimate sacrifice so that no more animal sacrifices are necessary. He bridged the chasm of sin with his blood.

By Good Friday, I often felt positively heavy. The weight of The Passion, the darkness of our sin, the gravity of a hopeless and lost world felt very real. The Good Friday service was also a favorite, with the seven last words of Jesus sang by the choir and then reflected on by seven different people in our congregation. The service ended with a woman singing, "Were you there when they crucified my Lord?" And the altar guild would come up and quietly remove all decoration from the front of the church as the lights began to dim. And then the church was completely dark and silent.

We left the sanctuary in silence and everything felt holy and heavy.

***

Andrew Peterson is about to release an Easter Album that I'm very eager to hear. But before that album is released he is sharing five songs he wrote surrounding Lent. I want to share them with you because they have left me in a similar posture as the Lenten services did growing up.

Wrestle with this story. Be sure you are standing on the right side of truth. I actually find the entire storyline completely believable. It is no stretch for me to believe that left to our own devises, we are full of sin and greed and jealousy and lust and are eager to make and worship idols. We see these truths played out all around us.

It is also not hard for me to believe that there is a God who made the stars. A God who is loving and creative and imaginative and good.

When I read my Bible knowing that man is fallen and God wants his relationship restored with his creation, the whole story rings completely true. It is true. Every word.

So crack open your Bible. Get back into God's Word. It's the only thing that makes sense these days.

And enjoy these songs to prepare your heart for Good Friday.
Well Done, Good and Faithful
Last Words
Always Good

family fun days, day #2

Annnnnd, I'm back! Well hold onto your drool bib, because this day was also a huge, fun-filled Family Fun Day! It started with Ivar and Elsie building their lego sets from yesterday. Then we ate an incredible breakfast at the hotel. Except, I just had rice cereal and prunes. Which I didn't mind one bit. So delicious. I just love food. 

Then we came back to the room and while Dad shoveled the car out, we found DANIEL TIGER on the tv! Oh the joy! The happiness! We were all so thrilled! But here's something hilarious. In this episode Daniel and his friends were sad because the little duckling they had in their classroom had grown too big and had to be taken to a farm. And they were going to miss it so much. Well, Ivar and Elsie had lots of street smarts to tell Daniel and his friends. Elsie said the duck would probably be happier on the farm than in their little box inside. Good point Elsie. And then Ivar schooled Daniel and his pals, "the people at that farm are going to eat your duck!" And he laughed and laughed.

So on this day, we went to the Omni Theatre! Grandpa Paul really, really wanted Ivar to see the movie about the building of the Canadian Pacific Railway. Ivar and Grandpa have a shared love of trains and that is really fun for them. Grandpa wanted him to see the movie even though Grandpa was in Arizona. So Grandpa said, "I'll pay for your family's tickets and tickets to the Science Museum." What a guy! Thank you very much, Grandpa.

We got there early for the movie, and spent some time in the State Park Exhibit. I've got to say, there is a lot of free stuff to do in the lobby of the Science Museum. Really cool stuff. Like sit in a canoe and wander down the Mississippi River.

And Ivar flew like an eagle and swooped for fish in the river.

And then it was time for the movie. This was my very first movie! In fact, none of us kids had been in a theater before so this was very, very special. The movie was beautiful and Hattie and I made it through 40 whole minutes. Which is 39 more minutes than Mom thought we'd last.

Now do you know this store? It's the Science Museum Store and it is very special to my mom because her mom used to take her shopping in this store quite a bit. It has so many fun and creative and clever toys. Mom could have stayed in there for hours. And after a conversation with Grandma Margaret, this is where the grandkids get to go shopping for Christmas presents this year. Isn't that a fun idea?!!

Well the Science Museum is pretty spendy, so my mom decided to have us go to the Children's Museum instead because tickets cost about half as much and because we are sort of the perfect ages for the Children's Museum.

Now I should add that while leaving the parking ramp of the Science Museum it was discovered that someone lost the parking ticket. We still don't know where it is. Probably at the bottom of the river. But yowza. If you ever want to see my mom and dad frustrated, hide the parking ticket and make them pay the full rate! They'll rip the car apart and search like crazy people and you'll be entertained.

Anyway, they paid the $15 day rate, which was just $6 over what they would have paid. Not actually that much money. But, you know, it's the principle of the thing. We will always wonder where that ticket went.

And then we were off to the Children's Museum! What a fun place!

We got there about 2:00 and it was SO LOUD! There were lots of school groups there and everyone was shrieking and screaming down the fun slide. But about an hour later, the place nearly cleared out and it was much more fun. A worker told Mom that Friday nights, Saturdays and Tuesdays (no field trips that day) are the quietest and calmest. Good to know! I just wanted to pass that on to you so your mom would know too.

Hattie was very happy at the Children's Museum. She liked it all. And played so, so hard. She especially loved the workshop and the light switches that each turned on or off a different light fixture on the ceiling. Imagine walking into Menards lighting section, but getting to turn the lights on and off yourself! So fun!

And Ivar and Elsie played the longest at the Post Office, cranking boxes up to the sorting room, running up the stairs to help sort the boxes and sending them back down the shoot for another round of postal fun. They were sweaty they played so hard!

Then we found the Daniel Tiger Exhibit. It was darling and fun to see parts of our favorite episodes up close. 

We ended in the Studio where Ivar and Mom played with clay, Elsie and Hattie played with moon sand or cloud dough or something like that and I finally decided to give up the fight and close my eyes. I was told later that we ended the trip with Subway for the kids and that Elsie cried the entire way home, very sadly, because the trip was over. When we got home, we all piled into Mom and Dad's bed under their electric blanket because Dad had turned the heat waaaaay down and the house was freezing. Dad read a story to everybody and of all the moments on our Family Fun Days, this one, with all six of us in her bed, was Mom's very favorite part.