checking in...

Well, this happens every time I get excited about Instagram again. When I post regularly on instagram I often fall off the blogging wagon. So if you're wondering where I've been be sure to hop over to The Grovestead's Instagram page and you can catch up with our daily happenings. And since it's springtime, there are lots and lots of daily happenings...

Well, I feel like I have lots to report, but all of it very random. So here's my brain dump on a Wednesday night:

-Tonight Rory came in the house and got to work in the kitchen. He had black work gloves on and was working hard by the sink. When I finally asked him what he was up to he told me, "I'm making Nettle Soup!" As in stinging nettles! We have them in abundance around our farm, have always been told of their amazing nutrition and wondered sincerely how anyone could eat them. But tonight we tried them and you know what? Even our kids liked the soup! No kidding. It was delicious!

-I went to the Minnesota Association for Christian Home Educators conference this past weekend and it was so well done. I said this last year, but I really wish it wasn't just for homeschool parents, because every workshop is excellent for parenting, discipline, marriage care, life with a toddler, homemaking, getting kids outside, the importance of reading aloud to your kids etc.. It's all applicable for every parent. I left so inspired and excited for my job as mom.

-I'm 32 weeks today! And still, on the whole, feeling great. I am basically hungry all the time lately. I could eat anything you put in front of me at any time of the day, no matter if I just ate a full meal moments before. Baby must be growing, and surely I am too.

-I took the kids to the Children's Theater today in Minneapolis. My friend Emily got group-rate tickets and invited us along. $10 a ticket to see Frog and Toad! And it was SO WONDERFUL! The show runs through the end of June and I cannot recommend it enough. It was delightful. I think you just have to have 10 people for the group rate (not totally certain, so you'll have to look this up) but if I were you, I'd pool a few families together and go. It made for such a fun and memorable outing.

-Our billy goats are almost 3 months now! And as such, they have been giving each other lots of "back hugs." That's what we say about the rooster when he has lots of love for the hens. But the billy goats were clearly getting to be of back hug age. So the vet came out yesterday and the boys were banded. And now they are quite sad, but the vet said this should just last a day or two. Poor fellas.

-Along those lines, the other night at dinner we had a very frank and upbeat conversation about what goat will be processed for meat. Everyone was making a case for sparing Presh or Cici or Precious. Later I told Ivar that he is one of only a handful of kids in the year 2017 who have to have this sort of conversation around the dinner table. But if we had lived 100 years ago, or any year before that this conversation would have been very, very normal. It was an interesting thought and made me glad my kids are this close to their food. We roast a chicken every week and make our own broth now too. There is a rhythm and a swing to all of this, and honestly, I am eager to have goat meat in our freezer. I love how handy it is to have dinner on hand all the time. (deep apologies to any vegetarians reading! but these are happy animals until their fateful day...)

Well, I suppose that is all for now. I think I am heading for bed now. Sleep is eluding me these nights and I know it's all preparation for the season to come. That's all well and good, but it does make for a very tired Mama come 4:00 when I am ready to call it a day!

Joyfully, Becca

A glorious and happy Easter

Do you see all that sunshine pouring in?!! That sort of sums up our Easter Sunday. It was a glorious day, full of resurrection and awe, basking in the glory of God. In Minnesota, a sunny, green grass, blue sky Easter comes around only every so often so I think we are especially grateful when one of these rolls around.

We started the morning by having the kids look for their Easter Buckets. Ivar's was in my white desk, but Elsie's was a bit trickier for them to find.

She kept circling the room and finally after Rory told her he was going to turn on the light to see if that would help, she found it hanging from the ceiling fan. They also got darling Easter lunch boxes from Mimi filled with candy and they were so thrilled. The morning was off to a good start.

We were going to wait for Hattie for the Egg Hunt, but she slept in until 9:15 that morning (!!!) which was awesome and crazy. And very helpful when she never got a nap the rest of the day...

I shared on instagram that just before this happy picture was taken below, one of our participants fell apart because his shoes and socks were "stocking wet!" from the dew on the grass. So the hunt had to stop while I gave him dry socks, rainboots, a kleenex and a pep talk. And then we went back out and joy was found again.

That picture above is a new favorite of mine. Elsie was into this hunt. Also, I hid two of each color egg for each kid. Which was brilliant, because they actually worked together to find every egg. Ivar would say, "Elsie! I already have my purple, but there is another purple over here!" Also, candy corresponded to the egg color, so they ended up with the exact same amount and kinds of candy. Remind me to do this every year.

Then we got all ready for church and I got the gift of a picture with my four kids. :)

We went to church and Hattie and I listened to the service from the infant room. It was a sweet time together and she kept making eye contact with me, loving that it was just the two of us for a whole hour and a half. I loved the time with just her. I'm not certain she ever really gets my 1:1 attention.

But she is not lacking for attention! That is for sure! We got to my mom and dad's house for Easter lunch and there she found cousin Mara in the flesh! Hattie walks around with a magnet of Mara's soccer picture and talks to it all day. And gives magnetic Mara rides in tupperware containers. She loves her Mara and Mara loves her right back.

Mom made her traditional meal and it was perfect. Ham and hot fruit on top, potato casserole, layered jello salad, relishes, peas, rolls, a green salad and Uncle Don brought two homemade pies: cherry and apple. And he makes unbelievable pies.

Hattie got a lot of attention from everyone. And she was very worthy of every drop. Mom and Dad's egg hunt assigned a color egg to each kid. Ivar was Blue, Elsie was Pink and Hattie was Orange. It meant that the orange eggs were basically throw on the grass. But Mara, the eleven year old, was Green. And her green eggs were a lot trickier to find. So smart.

Hattie walked around with Jedd for the hunt and he helped her find her eggs. There was something about her cardigan sweater, holding a basket and waddling around that made her look very much like an old woman gathering chicken eggs. It was so, so entertaining and darling.

The egg hunt was a huge success and the kids were very pleased with their six eggs each. We came back in the house and everyone talked. The kids and ladies all went for a walk and then came back and Mara painted Elsie's toe nails. We ate candy and some read and some napped and others of us just kept eating candy...

At the very end Hattie found Jedd putting on his shoes on her favorite little step. She was so pleased to have his company and they read a book before we all left to go home.

It was a great Easter. Full of the gifts from God: family and time together and celebration for what He has done in our lives. We have so much to be grateful for...the fruit of our family walking with the Lord is all around us. And it is good, good fruit. Thank you Jesus for bridging our sinful selves back to our Holy God. Alleluja!

It takes a Family

Monday night I was up all night with round ligament pain in my belly. Oh it hurt so bad. And I could hardly get comfortable. I had spent a lot of Monday moving big tubs of clothes as I changed everyone's dressers from winter to summer. I was bent over in the attic crawl space pulling them out and then I was carrying laundry baskets up and down the stairs doing laundry at the same time. I knew I was overdoing it, and that night my body told me that it also knew I was overdoing it. (I'm 30 weeks pregnant tomorrow!)

I woke up Tuesday morning and knew I had to lay low. Trouble was, my folks were coming and I was planning on grocery shopping and picking up two new chairs for our sunny room while they were here. So I called my mom at 8:00 and told her my predicament. And then emailed her a grocery list and the delivery number for the chairs. And she and my dad spent their morning doing my grocery shopping and picking up my chairs arriving at noon with my days worth of errands.

We put the groceries away and then I went to take a hot bath while Dad cleaned out my entire garage and Mom did Easter crafts with my kids.

I went from the hot bath into bed and took a long nap. And after I woke up Mom started making Chicken Salad for supper and Dad started vacuuming my whole house.

Oma Zina and Auntie Lisa arrived so that Lisa could help plant the garden with Rory. Zina asked if I had any laundry to fold. Ha! I had five loads! She worked with Hattie and folded my clothes like they have never been folded before. Her folding is really an art form...

Meanwhile, Lisa worked with Rory and Ivar to grid the garden so it was ready to plant. And while they worked, the rest of us had a picnic outside. It was cold. But delicious.

After supper Zina went to the raspberries and cut off last years berries so the energy can go into the new fruit. And Rory and Lisa planted onions, beets, potatoes and peas. Ivar and Elsie got really goofy and Hattie went to bed.

The day was absolutely dreamy. I hardly did a thing, but was so grateful to receive every bit of love and care. We now have a kitchen full of groceries, two awesome chairs in the sunny room, a clean garage, folded laundry, a clean kitchen, chicken salad for tomorrow, a garden that is underway, raspberries that are ready for the spring and crafts that are darling hung in my kitchen. And all I had to do was take a bath and a nap! It is fun to think this is how the family farm used to operate with generations living on one homestead. I think they had the right idea back then. It is just so good and satisfying and right.

weekend in review

Oh man. This girl. She got to come with me to her first Bridal Shower and she was completely enraptured with the whole experience. I had told her it was a party just for girls and ladies, to celebrate our friend Elena who is going to marry Max in June. I told her there would be cake and punch and that we would get to watch Elena open presents from everyone to fill their kitchen so she could cook good food. So Elsie wore a lovely dress with her white tennis shoes and sat transfixed on the bride (who we got to sit with!) and ate so much sugar she got a tummy ache.

At lunch she had asked me how Elena and Max knew they wanted to get married. I told her that they were good friends and that at some point while being good friends they decided they wanted to be friends for the rest of their lives. That they couldn't imagine not being each other's friend. Elsie liked that answer and was glad that Daddy and I are good friends for the rest of our lives.

I am too.

It was quite the exciting weekend as Saturday began by picking the winner for the maple syrup giveaway. Congrats to Joy Peterson! Big winner from right here in our town! I wore my favorite maternity dress for the big reveal video on facebook and only once we posted it did I realize that I cannot wear that short dress any more! My belly has grown in the last few weeks, shortening the dress considerably! But I couldn't really tell that while wearing the dress because I can't see past my big belly. But I could definitely tell on the video! Hilarious. And that darling dress is now retired.

Then we went to the Home and Garden show in our town. Which translates to: walk around the ice arena getting candy and balloons and entering giveaways and seeing everyone and their grandma there. It was so fun! My kids actually thought it was some sort of carnival. And to our great joy, we met a neighbor how has sheep and knows how to sheer them! Hooray!

We came home and my sister-in-law Sara came over with her kids for the afternoon. My kids love their big cousins so, so much. And Kirby and Toby and Ruby are so great with my kids. Kirby recently gave Ivar TONS of Hex Bugs and Hex Bug Track (which we didn't even know existed...but now we do!) and so they got to play with Hex Bugs, and visit the animals and Toby even taught Ivar a magic trick that Ivar is impressively good at (Toby is a really good magician!) I got to talk to Sara for a good long time and the afternoon was awesome.

They pulled out of our driveway and minutes later our good friends showed up and dropped off their three girls for a babysitter swap, as they had watched our kids on my birthday. So with all six kids, we ventured outside for an easter egg hunt. It was awesome and so fun. And two little one-year-olds can cover a lot of farm yard, heading in different directions, quite quickly!

Those girls left at 7, I put the kids down and then made 55 Matzo Rolls for a Seder Meal that happened here in our town. And then I finished my book!

This morning I got up and could hardly put my pants on. For real. I was so tired. But we made it to church and I taught about Palm Sunday and sincerely enjoyed every minute with the 3-6 year olds I get to teach. They are a really great crew.

We came home, there was a sheep Baaing like crazy at us in the field and Ivar went to investigate. He came running back, "I think a sheep is having a baby! Her butt is SO RED!!!" Rory ran out there and sure enough, there was a little lamb, still in the sack. So we spent the next few hours delighting in the straight forward birth and the darling little lamb trying to stand on its sturdy legs.

I asked Elsie if she wanted to go see the lamb and she said, "No, because once I saw a goat being born and it was very gross to me." So instead she prepped for the bridal shower.

And when we got home from the bridal shower we ate scrambled eggs and tator tots and called it a great supper.

We cleaned the house a bit, folded laundry and got the kids down and then Rory and I went out to the barn to see our darling lamb named Sunday. It started to rain and we went to the upstairs of the barn where Ivar used his walkie talkie to tell us that it was raining very hard. We talked back and forth with him for a while, him in the window of the house with Elsie, us up in the big window of the barn, everyone waving and saying I love you back and forth.

And then Rory and I stayed up in that upstairs for an hour and talked and it was one of my favorite dates ever.

Then I came in the house and talked to my mom about my weekend and said, "I really should go blog about this, because these are some fun memories..."

We will be posting pictures of the baby lamb (and soon to be lambs, when the other sheep go into labor) like crazy people on our instagram page, if you're interested in pictures of darling barnyard babies...

the grovestead newsletter

For years Rory and I have talked about starting a newsletter for our farm. Obviously we both blog. And now I'm sharing every day on instagram. It's not like we don't share a whole lot of our hobby farm anyway. But we both have always said that a quarterly newsletter would be so fun to work on...to sum up that season, write about what is to come. And to share favorite quotes and scripture, favorite links or websites, books or resources that we are coming across. A total hodgepodge, but all centered around that season and the happenings at The Grovestead.

So in order to kickstart this newsletter we are hosting a Maple Syrup giveaway. It's a total gimmick to help us spread the word in order to find as may people interested in our hobby farming ventures as possible. And, to our great excitement, it is working! We posted a week ago on our facebook page (@thegrovestead) and have had a great response of people curious enough to add their email to the list for either the newsletter or the chance to win the maple syrup. Either way, we are enthused.

We are going to draw the winner Friday afternoon, and it just dawned on me that I never posted about this on my very own blog. Duh. (Though that duck, duck, GREY DUCK video was very adorable!)

So if you want to be added to the email newsletter list, and if you want a chance to win a jar of our beautiful maple syrup CLICK RIGHT HERE AND SIGN YOURSELF UP! (And anyone else you think may be interested!) By entering your email, you are also entered into the syrup raffle. :)

We'll draw for the syrup winner Friday at noon. I'm so sorry for the late notice!

duck duck grey duck

duck duck grey duck from Becca Groves on Vimeo.

Hattie watches the kids play this game at Gym Class. Apparently she figured the whole thing out! She'll get to play with all the kids next time. :)

Hattie at 18 months.

Holy Smokes. I don't remember this season with my other two. Or at least I didn't remember it until Hattie reminded me. This is where that motherhood amnesia thing is very, very real. But I am here to tell you that 18 months is SO BUSY. Non-stop busy. Hattie is into everything. And then moving that everything into other rooms. Each evening the other four of us spend a good deal of time putting the house back in order, back from Hattie's day of play.

She climbs chairs and prefers to sit on top of tables. She takes books off of bookshelves, garbage out of garbage cans, shreds toilet paper all over the house, brings everyone their shoes to whatever room they are in, trails dish towels wherever she goes, empties drawers and cabinets, and pulls down anything she can reach on the counter top. She is tall and able. Tonight she pulled a sheet of paper down that was peeking over the edge of the counter, that sadly had a jar of cold queso on it. Which fell on her. Thankfully she recovered quickly, but seriously! When she is awake, we are seconds away from disaster.

But she is so darling. Man we love her so much. And she is so excited for adventure. She brings us our shoes because she is always ready to go! She understands our words now, and follows our instructions. It's really amazing.

And she is the center of our family. I don't know how to explain that, but she really is like our mascot. Last night she lifted her hands in the air and said, "aaaeeeuuaaa!" And suddenly she had all four of us, raising our hands and shouting, "Alleluja!" She did it again, and so did we. She was the leader, we waited for her command. And we played that Alleluja family game for a long, long time.

She is such a gift to us. So messy to clean up after mealtime. So busy and free spirited. And when it is bedtime she is pleased to get to go and rest. She waves to everyone saying nigh nigh and crawls up the stairs. And then once she's in bed, and we've cleaned the house after her busy day, I miss her.

mall walker

Monday was just a terrible day. It was gloomy and dreary and my attitude matched the day. I actually cried big tears when it was time to think up a dinner again. I have been sort of denying this responsibility lately...never a plan and always annoyed that another 24 hours have passed and my family wants to eat again. It was so bad that I did the math that each day I feed five mouths three times a day, seven times a week, which means I am feeding 105 mouths each week. You know you're in a pity party when you do the math...

I tried hard to turn the day around midway. I told the kids that we were all going to listen to our own voice and hear how our words were sounding. Did our words sound whine-y or mad or grateful or pleasant? Ivar loved the challenge mostly by being my cop and catching my moody voice and reporting what it sounded like to him. Ha!

But then Tuesday came and the sun was shining and the weather was glorious and apparently I got my hit of vitamin D, because I was so happy. Also, we had prayed on Monday night for clean hearts and new spirits for Tuesday and as Ivar said, "God really did it! You have a clean heart! I can tell!"

Last night I had a nerve spazz out on me and give me that typical shooting pain down the back of my leg. I have had this with all of my pregnancies...apparently the baby is squishing something in there.

After a full night of horizontal rest, I'm still feeling that little nerve and it means that today I decided to wear tennis shoes with my cute little maternity dress and leggings and it made me remember something that made me laugh out loud.

When I was in 2nd grade, my teacher Ms. Solberg was pregnant. We didn't know for a long time, but Jordana Smith did. Jordana was a classmate whose mom had just had a little brother. And looooong before Ms. Solberg told us that she was pregnant Jordana began whispering the news to the other girls in the class. When Ms. Solberg finally did make the announcement we all said excitedly that we already knew. She was so surprised. How did you know?!! Jordana told us!  She was so surprised, "Jordana, how did you know I was pregnant?!!"

Jordana smiled and said, "well, when my mom was pregnant she had days when she was super happy and then she'd be super crabby, but then happy again. You were acting the same exact way."

I remember Ms. Solberg laughing so hard she had to get a kleenex for her eyes and then she walked over to Ms. O'Keefe's room and brought her back and said, "Jordana, tell Ms. O'Keefe what you just told me!" And the two of them howled. And the rest of us laughed awkwardly...not getting the joke, but clearly something was hilarious.

I thought of this whole story because there was something else about Ms. Solberg. After she announced her pregnancy she started wearing tennis shoes every day. But she still wore dresses and nylons. From the ankles up, she looked very lovely. But those tennis shoes were just hard to get past.

That was back in 1989. And now in 2017 I am the one sporting the tennis shoes, large belly and mall-walker ensemble.

It wouldn't matter at all as I am home most of the time. But today my blessed sister-in-law Lisa and niece Josie volunteered to take the kids for the day as Josie is on spring break! And I got kicked out of the house!!!!!!!! What a gift!!!!! So here I sit at a Caribou. I used my gift card from Annika from Christmas. And decided to write about this little story that made me laugh out loud as I drove here.

Also! Today I am 28 weeks which is the beginning of third trimester. I tell you what, these are just psychological milestones, but psychologically I am doing cart wheels! This pregnancy is flying by. I continue to feel great (minus the nerve thing, but there is a 14-inch baby moving around in there!) and feel grateful for the good laugh I had today thanks to Jordana Smith and Ms. Solberg. :)

happy friday!

And that's a wrap! Tree Tapping-Evaporating-Finishing and Canning Season is over! And we have the Maple Syrup to prove it. Isn't that glorious? I can't get enough of these pictures...the rainbow of syrup all tapped from the same trees is mesmerizing to me.  Really beautiful. The temperature when you collect the sap has a lot to do with the color, as well as the rate of the boil. And it all tastes incredible. There is so much to learn!

Well, I'm here to write a review of our week, but there is not a whole lot to report. This week was an awesome, normal, regular week. Even tonight I started with Ivar at dinner, "hey, hey what do you say, what was your favorite part of the day today, Ivar?" And he thought for a long time and said, "not really any one part. It was just a normal day." And it was! Homeschool, lots of legos, Hattie drawing with chalk on the wall (so grateful it was chalk!) and frozen pizza for dinner. Not much to report.

But that's a good life too, isn't it? Don't need too much drama. Don't need too much busy and frantic. Don't need too much disruption to the normal routine. I like our life so much. We've got glorious maple syrup to show for it, and we have finally finished the trim in the living room so I can paint it all white tomorrow. So other than a trip to the library with friends (complete with a stop to the cupcake shop) and the implementation of daily chores for the big kids, our week has been pretty routine.

Have a happy weekend!

a family seder

Doesn't everyone in the picture look just riveted by what I am saying?!! Thankfully I didn't talk too long and then Derrick took the floor!

So three years ago I attended my first Seder Meal at the church we were attending. It was led by Pastor Derrick, who walked us through a traditional Jewish Passover feast, while pointing out how Jesus fulfilled various parts of the meal.

To say that it added depth and meaning to my Easter feels too small. It is amazing, isn't it, how the huge Christian stories can begin to wash over us a normal. "Oh yes, this is the part where he rises from the grave..." What?!! How does this happen? How do the stories become so familiar that they loose their weight and impact on our lives? But it happens. And this Seder Meal three years ago woke me up again and I remember being profoundly moved that Easter, knowing all of the Jewish traditions and customs and background surrounding the history of Jesus' death and resurrection.

I have attended the last two years as well, and each time thought it would be so cool to host one of these meals at my house, with Derrick teaching, just like he does at the church. As it worked out, Sara was leading worship at their church and we were able to team up church with the meal at Art House North.

The kicker is that it is long. Like three hours long. But you are eating basically the whole time and there are just lots of parts of the meal and there is a lot to teach on each part. But each time more and more is illuminated, and I love that feeling.

If you ever have the opportunity to attend something like this, I highly recommend it. He is leading the meal again in our town on the night of Palm Sunday and if you'd like to come, drop me a line and I can send you the details.

Springtime picture books!

I am so excited just to pass this resource along!

I love our library, and the kids love it too. We go to Lego Time when we can and our library has a really huge creative play area where they can play store, kitchen, mailman, and ice cream shop.

My trouble is in picking out good books. The kids usually pick them out (lots of disney-character books), and I usually discover what we checked out when we get home. And let me tell you, there are some duds out there.

This is why I was so excited to find Read-Aloud Revival! Because not only does she have a book list of her all-time favorite books per age, she also sends out a book list each month with THE BEST picture books to read during that month. She is Christian and notates when a book has a Christian message. And the other books are just good, wholesome, awesome, beautiful books with uplifting and good messages.

Her April book list just came out and the books are all about gardening, Easter, baby animals and the change from winter to summer... SPRING!

I print the list out, sit down with my computer and open our library website. Then I select to search from All Libraries and reserve each book I can find. This month I was able to reserve 24 out of her 28 recommended springtime books. (None of which were at my actual library, but will come from other libraries in southern Minnesota.) And they look stunning. I can't wait for them to arrive!

So go check out Read-Aloud Revival and sign up for her emails so you start receiving her book lists. These are the stories we want our kids to read!

I'm 36!

I have written about this before, but I still champion this idea so I'm going to write about it again. A few years ago I took Rory off the hook for my birthday. I have high expectations for my birthday and was always hoping that maybe he could magically read my mind when March 18th came around. As it turns out, he could not read my mind. But I could! So I started planning my own special day from start to finish.

I recommend this SO MUCH. Because I know I'm not alone in this. I know too many stories of the big day ending in disappointment and tears. But I really believe your birthday is your responsibility when you become an adult. It just is. So whether I am turning 36 or 66 or 96, I will continue to plan my day. It's not my husband's job, not my children's, not my friend's. It's mine. And you know what? All my expectations are met when I plan the day.

So Saturday was my big day, and I was ready for it. Friday night I cleaned the kitchen and hung my own pennants. I set the table for a fun brunch party with my family, bought my own coffee cake and woke up early to meet a bunch of girlfriends for a birthday breakfast. I invited every one of them and told them not to bring a gift or a card, but to just pay for their own pancakes. I love beginning the day with friends. It's good to feel loved by girlfriends at the start of the day!

When I got home the kids were ecstatic to give me their cards and to have coffee cake (which, I can't actually eat because of my no-grain eating plan...but I bought the cake mostly for them because it is very important to have your kid's buy in for your big day!)

But in a crazy surprise Rory had spent the morning making me a very complicated Paleo Chocolate Pie! Now here is an added bonus to letting your husband off of the birthday hook: anything he does is genuinely appreciated because it is bonus! And not done out of birthday obligation. I was so surprised and impressed. We had this chocolate pie a few weeks ago with friends and I loved every crumb. It is coconut cream, dates and melted chocolate (and other things) on a walnut crust. I told Rory that I would have been really intimidated to attempt that recipe and he said, "oh, I was."

I spent the afternoon making special foods for a Seder meal we had the next day (that I'll write about tomorrow.) And that was a great task too: to try a whole bunch of new recipes. I really enjoyed playing in the kitchen all afternoon. At 3:00 we dropped the kids off at my friend Allyson's house and she watched them for four hours. I'll return the favor on her birthday in two weeks. Genius! And we lined it up, because we are adults!

Rory and I went to a coffee shop and talked for a few hours and then out to dinner. And it was so great. I told him on the drive to pick up the kids, "I love time with you. I love when we get to finish a conversation." And it's so true. Our communication can be so fragmented and interrupted with so many vying for our attention. The joy of our date night was really getting to talk.

We picked the kids up, put them to bed and then watched a documentary on Sugar while eating the incredible chocolate pie. Perfect. 

in this season of life...

I thought of this post tonight while I took a hot bath and it made me laugh a bit and want to document this slice of life.

In this season of life we are playing Uno all. the. time. Ivar and Elsie love it. Hattie loves to grab cards close to the edge of the table. I enjoy the quick games and can't believe how long the long games can be!

In this season of life everything is about being fair. Raisins are counted. Cheerios are counted. Mothers are losing their mind. Two halves are measured against the other. Apple sauce levels are scrutinized. You would think these children were starving. You'd think this mom was unskilled at cutting things fairly. You'd think there was a shortage of cheerios.

In this season of life there is always dried toothpaste on the bathroom counter.

In this season of life Elsie changes her outfits four times a day. I once explained to her that only the dirty outfits need to go in the laundry basket, and eventually I figured out that those outfits are actually all dirty. Elsie wins for most laundry every single week.

In this season of life our couches are taken apart daily for forts and every blanket, chair and table are utilized to make large, amazing, precarious structures.

In this season of life we have spaghetti once a week because everyone cheers when I tell them that spaghetti is the plan for dinner.

In this season of life our toilet paper is either in a pile under the dispenser or piled back on the dispenser after someone found it unrolled on the floor.

In this season of life we all watch Rory leave in the morning and wave to him from window #1, and quickly move to window #2 and #3 as he drives down the road. He is well loved.

The thing that made me laugh about this list, as I thought about it in the tub, is that we will likely be in this season for the next many years! Baby #4 is starting this whole train from the beginning, and I guess I just see a lot more Uno, forts, spaghetti, dried toothpaste, unrolled toilet paper and dirty laundry in my future!

motherhood in march in minnesota is monotonous.

How's that for a blog title! You know how I do love alliteration.

Recently Rory and I had a really helpful conversation. It was without a lot of emotion, just an honest conversation about the challenge I am feeling while at home with three kids and how being home with kids all day can be lonesome and get really boring. Not that there is ever a lack of things to be done. There are always dishes, laundry, meals to make, cleaning, lesson planning and baths to fit in. But those tasks, day over day, (as they are for any mother in any circumstance) can make a lady weary. And even though this is what I chose, and even though I feel positively blessed to get to be home, the days can be so long, the time in the kitchen can feel unending and personal time feels like a taunt.

Also, motherhood in March in Minnesota is sort of the ultimate test. It's time for the change of seasons in lots of ways, but the seasons aren't changing. There is a special stamina needed to get through March...

The tricky thing is that I am not actually sure what would leave me feeling recharged. When Rory's cousin Kerah was here we talked about this and how it is tricky. Because time with friends is great and needed, but so is time alone. But that alone time almost has a pressure of its own, making sure it is utilized well. I have found that a hot bath and a good book does wonders for me. And I like the idea of time in the house alone but that requires everyone else go somewhere, which is hardly an option with naps and routines. So then I try to get out of the house, but quickly I make it a practical outing, getting groceries or diapers or picking up pictures that have been waiting for me for months. The days with little kids is just a sacrificial season. And that likely is the point. A mom has to draw near to God when the days feel long and the mess is constant.

But I do have this idea lately of creating play centers for myself around the house, just for me. Things that would add little bits of mom-fun throughout my day. Like a little spot to make something creative. Or a letter writing station to send some paper love to another. Or favorite podcasts to play, always having a great book to pick up, an awesome stack of magazines from the library, worship music playing in the background. Baking is always a good option for me. When life is so reactionary to little ones and their needs are constant, I really have to be better about giving myself little breaks.

Anyway, I thought this was all a worthy topic to write about. Motherhood can be very monotonous. And monotony can be a real mind-game to conquer! For a mom with young kids, there are refining fires all around that are hopefully building the best character in her heart as possible: patience, self-control, gentleness, kindness... The ones that you have to learn through trial and error, grace and forgiveness and new mornings when we get to pray for God's Spirit to give those needed fruits for the new day with the same kids doing the same thing. :)

So I'm off to make little play centers for myself. And I'm super excited about this!

do less. but do it.

I have always adored my cousins. When I married Rory I got the bonus of all of his cousins...all of whom I would pick as friends. And here I just married into the clan! One of his cousins, Kerah, came for a visit last week and our time was incredible. Again, I'd pick these people as friends and here they are...my family.

Kerah's boys are 13 months apart. Can you even imagine? Baby #2 was a surprise in lots of ways. Even his arrival was a surprise when his mom delivered him in the front seat of their car on their way to the hospital!

We had some of the most helpful conversation I've had a in a long time. I have another blog post in the works with some nuggets from the rest of our time together, but to begin, I think this is a worthy topic to write about.

 I recently saw a picture of me holding Ivar and Elsie right when Elsie was born and it knocked the wind out of me. I remember that season. Those little ones were really little. And really dependent and demanding. And seeing that picture gave me a little glimpse into what is up ahead. Kerah said that she really struggled a few months after her second was born, and I remember those days too, especially after Elsie. Some days were really dark. Postpartum depression is real. And I think it's just good to acknowledge that it comes with some babies. It can feel like a surprise, because you may have not had it with your last baby. But here it is. A cloud of weariness descends.

This wasn't postpartum, but recently I told Rory, "I am feeling so depressed today." And he said, "Oh that makes total sense. We haven't seen the sun in a week, you haven't been out of the house in days and have been caring nonstop for sick, mopey kids. Of course you're feeling depressed. Just let yourself feel it. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to have bad days...those are real emotions that we don't have to always run away from." Then he encouraged me to go out for a walk.

Now I know there are stories and circumstances that require outside help. And I won't dismiss that. But I have to tell you, having Rory acknowledge (and not panic) about my depressed mood was sincerely helpful. I stopped feeling bad about feeling bad and just started taking care of myself in better ways.

We talked about what would be helpful during those dark days...ways that friends could really carry you through that season. Mostly because I feel like I need to make a concrete list for myself so that when fall and winter come (I'm assuming that is when I'll start to feel the weight and hormones of baby #4...that's when I felt it with Elsie. Not when she was born in the summer, but when it got cold and isolated in the winter) I will have some practical ways to ask for help.

Here's what we came up with:
A meal quickly dropped off. Doesn't have to be gourmet. In fact, a Cub Fried Chicken meal, purchased ten minutes before drop off is as welcome as anything. I always over think this one so that I never do anything. I think I should prepare some awesome meal, but that truly is not my gift. However, that doesn't let me off the hook! A gift card to a restaurant in town would be just as kindly received. In so many of these ideas, IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT REALLY, TRULY DOES COUNT.

And then, the meal can be dropped off with a short chat of hello and encouragement. But actually a long visit can also be overwhelming. I think this is encouraging for me as the giver. I can tell Rory, "hey, I'm going to cub to get a chicken dinner for so-and-so and will be home in 45 minutes. Done and done.

A text message. When you think of that person, just drop them a line to tell them. Period. Done frequently, this can mean AS MUCH as a chicken dinner.

A voice mail. We both said that there are moments of mayhem where picking up the phone isn't an option. But to hear a nice message can be life-giving and also can be played over and over and over.

A card or piece of fun mail. Just any sort of hello from the outside world! Motherhood can feel lonely. It just can. I don't think we can fix that, but a nice card or sending someone a good magazine (!!!) would be so well received. I remember I got a box in the mail from my friend Heidi after Elsie was born. It had random toys that her kids wanted to pack (of their own) in the tiny box for my kids and two cans of tuna and a jar of pickle relish. She wrote: Dinner is done! Don't forget tuna melts! They're so easy. Just add mayonnaise to this stuff and one more meal is over! I LOVED that gift. We had tuna melts that very night. I think of her every time we have them still.

Offer to take the bigger kid(s) for a few hours while mom and baby have some time to themselves. What a gift! And fun for everyone. The bigger kids are likely ready to bust out of the house on an adventure and would do well with some personal attention.

A visit to clean the bathrooms. Can you imagine this one? If someone just showed up with their own cleaning supplies and offered to deep clean your bathroom? Kerah had this done by my sister-in-law Lisa, and I think it's awesome. I'd for sure be embarrassed at the state of my bathrooms, but I'd be way more grateful than embarrassed! (clearly you'd have to check with the mom!)

Anyway. The point of this list is to remind MYSELF that I can do small things for others. I can do way less than my imaginative heart wants to do. But I still have to do it. I can't just keep thinking that I should drop off a Pioneer Woman Lasagna with homemade bread and amazing Cesar salad if it never happens. That doesn't count. Even if the meal was going to be amazing in my head. What I can do is run to the Co op and get a tub of their fresh soup and a loaf of their best crusty bread and drop it off quickly at the house. I don't have to wrap it beautifully. I don't have to include a nice card. Those are only hurdles that I will never jump to actually get the gift to the mom-in-need of a gift. So keep it simple. I can do less. But I have to do it.

Hope this helps. It helps me a lot!

this I believe

This picture has nothing to do with this post. But how fun that we have an owl living in our duck box!

***

Two years ago we were at a church that was reading through The Story, a summation of the Bible. Each week we read a chapter that the pastor preached on and our small group discussed.

Our small group was awesome. We were a really varied group, lots of different life experiences in the room and faithful to meet each week. Our friend Derrick was in the group, a pastor who now has a ministry that he runs in America and Israel. Derrick is one of those teachers that I hear teach and what he says has immediate impact in my life. Do you know this kind? I could probably list a dozen pastors and teachers and mentors that I simply hear better than others. When they speak their words go right to my heart. Derrick is one of those.

All through the reading of The Story, Derrick added his discoveries and fun facts to all we were reading.

I remember when we were reading through Exodus Derrick explained how each of the ten plagues correlated directly to an Egyptian god, so that each and every plague was a direct offense to that false god's followers.

And then they got to the Red Sea. And Derrick explained that even today, when you visit the Red Sea, there is a beach that stretches a mile or two wide. On either side of this beach is rock that would be pretty impossible to pass. But this beach is there, and it leads to a land bridge under the water, just 70 feet deep, also of sand that goes across the bottom of the Sea to meet up with another beach on the other side. The land bridge is also a mile or two wide, and on either side of the land bridge the water drops dramatically down to great depths.

He mentioned that this would be a great place to part the waters to let a million people pass through. And then he showed us images of this beach along with photos of the coral patterns on this land bridge that are in the shape of chariot wheels.

I remember sitting there, looking at the screen and I felt very skeptical. This all seemed rather convenient. Where are these images from again? I'd like to see this for myself.

But then the study continued. And we read of the journey following the crossing of the Red Sea, and Derrick showed us a map of the area, with the timeline written out from Exodus with how many days they traveled by foot from place to place. One of the pictures was a mountain that is no longer called Sinai, but is the one that he believes (and many others) was where God spoke to Moses. Interestingly, the top of this mountain is charred black, unlike any other in the area.

There were may more pictures and image that showed actual (and plausible) locations for the scenes from the story. I want to tell you what it did for me. Seeing these images, whether I thought they were the actual location of not, helped me momentarily suspend my disbelief, and I began to imagine how these events could have actually, literally played out. I began to hear the story as factual. Not as the epic tale of the exodus of God's people to the Promised Land, but as a real-it-actually-happened-exactly-as-written-account of this incredible history.

I can't quite pinpoint it but somewhere along the line I had decided that much of the Bible was great metaphor. That the reality of the events didn't matter so much as the message in the story.

But walking through the Bible, the written word of God, with these new eyes of belief began to change things for me and made me wonder new things. Mostly it made me wonder where in the Bible I had drawn the line that separated my belief and unbelief.

Listening to Derrick, and hearing and seeing his evidence of each historical event made me feel a whole lot like doubting Thomas who was given the grace to touch the holes in Jesus' hands and sides. A lot of people see that story of doubting Thomas as sort of a tisk tisk on Thomas for not believing without seeing. Jesus even calls the person who believes without seeing blessed. But I have always thought the story of doubting Thomas is full of grace. Because Jesus still let Thomas touch his scars. He still gave Thomas the fleshy evidence that Thomas needed to believe.

That feels like grace to me, and I felt especially close to Thomas as I tried to draw the line of metaphor to factual event. This was a long process. There were lots of conversations. I read a lot and prayed even more. I just wanted the truth.

About a year later, the Holy Spirit became very, very real in my life. Incredible wonders were seen right with my own doubting eyes and ears. It felt like God took me here first because he needed me to know that he is indeed alive and active today. That he is the God of the universe and is as big today as he was in the stories I was wrestling through. There are a few personal stories from that season that shook my faith in incredible ways. And because of those experiences, I decided to believe God could be big enough to be God.

Honestly, that was the heart of the matter for me. Was the God I had just experienced in power able to do all that he says he can do? Or is he unable to close the jaws of hungry lions? Is God unable use a young boy to kill an enemy giant? Is He not able to speak through dreams? Could God not keep a man alive inside of a whale? Is God unable to call two of every kind of animal to a boat? Is creating the universe in six literal days too difficult a task? Is God unable to resurrect his own son? Of course not. He is God, and able to do all things.

I have sat here in this new place for almost a year. It's a place that fully embraces the entirety of the Bible as true. Factual. Historical. Exactly as written. And I will tell you, it is a peaceful place. I read the Bible with so much more interest and openness. The Word of God speaks to me so clearly now, largely because I am not proof reading the text for errors.

This stance is definitely contrary to what the world is teaching. And it likely puts me in a camp that others would label simple minded.  But I am okay with that, even though it's not true. I have read more about carbon dating discrepancies and dinosaur soft tissue and sediment layers from flooding in the past year than ever before. And I see the history written in God's word with more clarity each day. As God's Word has come alive, God's World has also taken on new life.

And then there is this bottom line: When I read the Bible, I find the whole thing so believable. And I feel an overwhelming gratitude for seeing the truth. The Bible makes so much sense to me lately, especially because the world is such a mess. When I read the Bible I find the same mess, stemming from the same sins, from the same people rejecting God and mocking his commands. I just find it all so believable. And I take such great comfort in that. The Bible throws everything into the light and I can see that when you're not plainly listening to the Lord to direct your steps, sin creeps in and will gladly lead you astray.

This has me praying more than ever before and again, sincerely feeling grateful to have God's Word..for boundaries, for the law, for grace, for Jesus, for forgiveness, for second chances, for hope and eternal life, joy and provision. I'm so thankful for all of it.

When Adam and Eve ate the fruit that was not for them, it was because Satan whispered in Eve's ear, "did God really say..." and with these words, Satan planted a seed of doubt in Eve's heart wondering if God really was who he said he was. One of my favorite children's Bible's says that when God found out they had eaten the fruit he was heartbroken because now they would doubt who He was and begin to think they knew more than Him.

That is exactly what I see in the fallen world around me. A whole lot of people who think they know more than God. That they've out reasoned the Word of God. It's the oldest sin in the book. First introduced by Eve and Adam, and still creeping into every human heart, "did God really say?"

And you know, we can answer that question boldly. Yes. God really did say don't eat that fruit. God really did say to follow His commands. God really did lay down a law that is for our own good. God really did send Jesus to save us from every way we fall short of that law, the Word made flesh. And it's all recorded in the history written out in those 66 books. I have decided to believe all of it because it all leads to life as God intended from the very beginning.