Best of 2016

2016 was a year of crazy world events, but one of the best years for our family right under our own roof. This year had less projects but we were way more involved in our community. We are grateful for a church we love, neighbors we love, dear friends who are local and friends who are far. I expect 2017 will bring some new demands (like a new baby) but I feel ready for it. I feel content in my role as mom and homemaker. I feel content with our life of learning here on our hobby farm. I feel grateful for my husband and the fun and adventure he brings each year to my life (I was just informed we will be milking goats and making goat cheese this year...) So bring it on 2017. I'm up for more family, farm and fun.

crabby mom

Yesterday I was told by my oldest that I am crabby all the time. I protested that I'm not crabby all the time though I am probably crabby once a day. And that often I have a good reason to be crabby, like crabby kids that make me feel crabby.  But my boy insisted I am crabby all the time.

And man it hurt my feelings. I have three clients that I serve each day (four if you count the one growing inside of me, but I'm basically perfect for that client if I stay hydrated and take my prenatal vitamin daily). I'm with these three all day and it's all I do. I don't get strokes anywhere else so to hear that I'm crabby at the one thing that I do really stung.

Later in the day I cried about it, recognizing in my head that I'm hyper-hormonal right now. And also recognizing that what he is saying isn't 100% true. Just like 10% true. 

But then today something happened. My sister was coming over with her girls and my house has exploded with added Christmas possessions and we needed to clean before they arrived. I worked on the kitchen, laundry, living rooms and then told the kids we were going to go hit their room. And there was groaning and complaining all the way up the long, long flight of stairs up to their room that they crawled up, like fish against a mighty current. 

When we finally made it into their room I asked Elsie to "pick up every piece of clothing on the floor and put it in this laundry basket." And she looked at me like I had just started speaking Swahili. My request was so strange to her. She actually said, "I don't get it." Slowing down my Swahili, making certain I was speaking in English, I said it a different way while demonstrating what to do. Meanwhile I told Ivar he needed to put every piece of paper on the floor up on his desk. This was asking too much. His desk had no room for papers he told me. I told him that was why it is nice that papers can stack on top of each other, or fit nicely in his vertical file.

And then the words came at me again, "Mom. You're so crabby."

Aha. There it was. My crabbiness comes out when the people I love and serve become helpless sloths. And it's true. I'm totally crabby about it.

So I left their bedroom as they both started playing with toys that were neither clothing in a basket or papers on a desk, and went to complain to management. I mean, Rory. And he looked at me so perplexed. "Becca. Most kings are hated by their people. But they still have to rule. It's still their job. And it doesn't matter if people love them or hate them, they're still in charge. You're the king. Tell them what to do. They won't like you. But no kid likes being told to do chores. You have to take your emotions out of this. And yesterday when Ivar was saying you were a crabby mom I was thinking, "son, you have no idea how good you've got it."

His pep talk worked. I did sort of shake out of it. And was able to see clearly that my crabbiness is in direct relation to feeling unheard and disobeyed. But they are kids. And I am the king. Though we all know I'm not actually their king. More importantly, I am their mom. And they are my kids, not my subjects and definitely not my clients. I'm not actually working for their approval or grade or quarterly review or anything. I'm called to raise them, and part of that gig includes instilling some sort of work ethic. And if I am not well received during that teaching time then it's okay. It's still the parent's job whether the kids like it or not. 

I have a feeling this is a universal mothering conundrum. Just wanted to share my two cents.

Sincerely, a recovering-people-pleaser-easily-guilted-sometimes-crabby-but-often-cheerful-and-don't-forget-joyful-mom

merry christmas!

I brought the camera to church tonight with hopes of getting a good picture of my kids all gussied up and I got one! (And some bloopers too.)
I hope you have a very Merry Christmas. Our kids were asleep tonight at 7, completely wiped out from family festivities and general excitement that has led to exhaustion. We begged them to sleep in tomorrow explaining that there is plenty of time to open their presents but I have a feeling I had better head to bed myself. Christmas is a lot of work for the mama's. I'm reminded of that again tonight. But it's good to be the magic maker. Merry Christmas!

snow quinzee

Yesterday Elsie came inside after about an hour of playing out with Ivar in the snow. I got her settled with hot chocolate and Ivar came in to tell me, "it's no fun with no one out there. will you come out mom?" Hattie was sleeping, I had been reading, but he was sweet enough that I decided to gear up. We went out and dug a tunnel in one snow bank and then a snow quinzee in this snow bank.

He was in awe with my shovel skills and I got to tell him about the week I went winter camping in the boundary waters for a winter survival class during my senior year of high school. Each night we slept in a snow qunizee or a tarp shelter. And as I told him my stories I was amazed at myself. We dug out the scrapbook I had made from that adventure and every picture was incredible to me. That was some hard core living. I was tough. Now I'm glad for my cozy house.

But now there is a little boy in our house who is DYING to sleep outside in a snow quinzee this winter. I suppose it would likely only last a few minutes, but I have a feeling this just might happen this year. At least his mom has a dream to build the thing, whether we sleep there or not...

this and that

+ The Peanut Butter Boys were trying to take a nap, but Hattie did not respect their wishes.

+ Well, I got the flu again this week. Thankfully I was the only one who got it, which makes us wonder if it was pregnancy stuff, but it's hard to say. Either way it was 48 hours of terrible. Which means that in the month of December, I've had the flu twice! And I got the vaccine this year! So I'm done. Influenza, back off.

+ I have made a list of what I wanted to get people for Christmas all month long. I feel pretty organized on paper. We are doing a whole lot of DIY projects, but there are books and a few gifts I need to order. So last night I got on Amazon Prime to pound out my list of things to order and EVERYTHING was out of stock! I didn't know this was possible! Each book, each funny gift, each and every thing... out of stock. I told Rory, "I put my trust in Amazon, and that was a big mistake."

+ Ivar is reading and it is so fun. To have a new reader means every sign is being sounded out, each package and container, even a coat at church was hanging up and he said, "It says Gary on it! Do you think it's Gary's?!!" Probably, I told him. At lunch he was reading the cottage cheese, "Ollllddd Hoomme. Mom! Don't eat it! It says it's old!"

+ It's brutal cold today. Last night had a forecast windchill of -39. I don't know if it got that cold, but does it really matter if it got that cold?  (Quick shout out for Electric Blankets. If you don't have one, you need to consider how a warm bed might change your life. Christmas is still coming...) I was amused at church today because everyone was wearing their "We mean Business" hats. I've never seen so many huge hats with fur and ear covers and chin buckles and thick knit pom poms. Usually these hats are kept at home for snow blowing and shoveling, but not today. And I laughed out loud when I walked through our lobby after the service because every hat screamed, "I'm going to survive this."

+ While recovering from the flu I started to feel terrible about the lack of cookies, and basically anything Christmas-y in our house. I even postponed Santa Lucia day until I could participate. So on Tuesday I texted Rory, "can you grab a christmas tree on your way home?"  He walked in the door and said, "Well, I got one. And it was fifteen bucks." I laughed and held my breath as he chain sawed the bottom before I could see the Charlie Brown tree about to enter our Christmas. But you know, it is darling. I love this tree. the kids made ornaments before I could get the real ones from the garage and I really love it. Plus I felt really good about rescuing this tree from the cold outdoors and giving it a warm home in a room with a fire place. It's a cozy tree.

+ I asked Rory recently if he ever gets tired of morning and evening chores. He has four sheep and two goats and three cats and 13 chickens to care for each day, and this is brutal weather. He said, "Oh no. I love our animals so much, I'm ready to check on them when it's time." And this week he's been checking on them in the afternoons too. He's a good farmer and our animals are well cared for.

2016 Christmas Card

My dad has this thing about Christmas card pictures. He wants the picture close up and cropped so he can see the actual kid, how they've grown. His pet-peeve is pictures that are too zoomed out. "I want to see your family! Not the whole lake!" he'll say. So I tried to crop this picture that we took on Thanksgiving, with Dad in mind. But when Rory saw it he said, "but it's so fun to see how tall the kids have grown." So we have a zoomed out picture. Sorry Dad.

We went with Tiny Prints again this year because they are awesome and generous and simply want me to help them spread the word about their gorgeous cards. I'm happy to do so. Christmas cards have been flooding our mailbox this month and I love it so much. There is no other time of the year when we get such fun mail! And I still believe that a card sent in January or February is perfectly welcome. In fact, they probably get a bit more attention. Rory and I sent out valentine-christmas cards one year. And I'm still glad we did.

So if you're looking to join in the fun mail train, you can click over to this link at Tiny Prints to see what deals, specials and beautiful cards they are offering this year. Super awesome: EVERYTHING is up to 40% off thru December 15th (the end of the day!)

And this year I ordered a self-inking return address stamp!I love it so, so much! I'd show it, except that it's our home address. Ha! But you can see all those options right here.

This is my third collaboration with Tiny Prints and I really do love their products. Remember my Christmas Light Thank You's? It's still in my top 5 of most hilarious awkward moments.

the third week of Advent

The first week of December our whole family had the flu. We each got it a different night, which I suppose was the best way for five of us to get the flu, but it made for a really long week of laying low and laundry. And I got it last, which meant all the apple sauce, bananas and saltines had been consumed the days prior. But I made up for it in cinnamon toast and sprite.

The second week of December we took our very first family road trip to Kentucky! Three weeks ago Rory handed me a piece of paper with a map and day-by-day itinerary and told me we were going to take the kids on a trip. I was thrilled as road trips are basically my love language. We visited my Aunt Connie and Uncle Paul and cousins Jessica and Isaac and it was so awesome. I will blog about the whole trip at length...the whole thing was so good. And the kids did incredible and super fun memories were made.

And now we're onto the third week of Advent and we're back home but recovering from week one and two and it hardly feels like Christmastime to me. Has this happened to you? Some Decembers I jump in with both feet and others it takes me a while to find my Christmas spirit. Today Rory put the star up in the barn along with a candle in each upstairs window. It's really lovely and feels like a step in the right direction.

Other than that, I have been prepping the kids for Santa Lucia Day on Tuesday morning. They are excited, except that I just heard Elsie threaten Ivar, "If you keep being mean to me, I will not bring you cookies in bed because I'm Lucia!"

So we've got a ways to go to find our Christmas Spirit! But we'll get a tree this week and play in the foot of new snow we got overnight. And tomorrow I hope to make cookies and try to explain the generous and giving heart of Lucia which should keep us moving towards the true meaning of holy time of preparing for Jesus' birth.

this pregnancy so far...

Basically each day around 4:00 I get a wave of nausea that hangs around until bedtime. I feel crummy, but need to eat, and only odd things sound good to me. This is quite peculiar to Rory who will hear me talk about how sick I feel, and moments later find me in the kitchen heating salami, and wrapping a pickle with cream cheese in the middle. He'll say things like, "I thought you weren't feeling well." Even on the forth time around, pregnancy is still mystifying.

Other than that, I can't complain. I truly can't. I know the spectrum of sick from my pregnancy with Elsie, and this is nothing to complain about. I'm carrying a little life in me. I'm fine. Just don't say anything about my warm salami roll ups.

for the love of a good blog

Last week, while sick in bed, I checked A Beautiful Mess where Elsie announced that she and her husband are adopting. She shared that a few years ago she and her husband followed a blogger named Ashley as she wrote about the adoption of her own little girl from China and it really stirred their hearts. So I clicked over to read a little of Ashley's story and basically read a year or two of her life all surrounding the time she was waiting for, receiving and finally bringing her daughter home. My heart swelled while I read each post and I felt so grateful for her writing.

It's amazing how blogs can do that, isn't it? I sat in bed sick with sick kids laying all around me and got to peek in on another person's wondrous life, a life she is living fully and passionately, and it left me wanting to live fuller too. Ashley is an artsy-crafty girl, but wrote about how she tries to tackle small projects, even ones that take ten minutes, just to fulfill that need to create. She seemed very practical and intentional.

Anyway, I had Rory read a few posts and I told him what a gift blogs are for me. There are some blogs that make you feel less than, instagram accounts that make you feel left out or lacking. But then there are some that are completely the opposite. The ones that show you someone who is fully alive and leave you wanting to live your life that fully too.

So if you're looking for some good browsing, clicking and binge reading, I highly recommend Ashley's adoption story. It's so tender and beautiful. I felt grateful the whole time I read it for parents who hear the call to adopt and become Mom and Dad to these little babes.

This link will go to all of her posts written about her adoption process. If I were you, I'd start with "If we could sit down and have a cup of coffee" and then proceed clicking through to their trip to China to bring home their daughter. And once you've read those, you'll want to back up and read all of the pre-story too. Enjoy!

hattie's earrings

Apparently these pumpkin spice cheerios are bit stickier than the usual, but Hattie wears them very nicely. The kids were in stitches the whole meal when Hattie wore her special hoop earring.

Hattie is a kick these days. She is so busy. And into everything. Our house has a very minimalist look to it because if she can reach it, it will be reached. I have a friend who has a two year old and when you ask him what his name is (Bo) he replies with a straight face, "No, no, Bo bo."  Hattie will likely feel the same way, except her name would be a very exasperated, "Ah! Hattie! No!" I lovingly call her the terrorizer because she is always freaking someone out. I'll hear her dad, "Ah! Hattie! No! Not the papers in my laptop bag!" I'll hear her siblings, "Hattie! No! Mom! Our puzzle! Get Hattie!" Or when I find her in the bathroom, "Ah! Hattie! No! Not in the toilet! Kids! We have to keep this door closed!"

She keeps us on our toes, proudly and quickly crawls up the stairs and then claps for herself. She monkeys around on all the furniture and stands on her own, but doesn't seem to feel the necessity to take a step. She's a fast crawler, a great eater and gives great snuggles, hugs and kisses. So she's a snuggly terrorizer.

did you know this?!!!

On Saturday my mom turns 70!!! We are going to celebrate at her house on her actual birthday, but the bigger party will be in February when just my sister and I are flying out to Seattle to meet up with my folks (coming from Mesa) for a weekend with my brother! We are so excited for this time together and mom just sent me the confirmation information for our flight.

It was in that email from Delta that my eyes popped out of my head and I nearly laughed for joy. Did you read the restricted hazardous items?!! Delta no longer accepts HOVERBOARDS!!!

HOVERBOARDS!!!! Does this mean they are a real thing?!! And why didn't anyone ever tell me?!! I feel like my whole life has been waiting for the invention of the hoverboard! You only have to watch Back to the Future 2 one time, when you're eight, to know they have the potential to change everything. Your life would never be the same.

So I did some research on this FORBIDDEN ON DELTA, BUT THEREFORE VERY REAL HOVERBOARD, and thanks to the experts at YouTube, I have learned a few things. First, they have wheels. Hmph. That's not technically hovering, then, is it? They still look fun, but they seemed to be more of a segway without the handle bar. But I can't really judge. I still haven't come up with the technology to hover the earth on a board. The wheeled version looks fun, but I'm still holding out for the real, space-flying hoverboard... 

raising optimists

The kids are so ready for wintertime. It's pretty awesome to see how fully Minnesotan they are. I, on the other hand, feel just fine with these mild days. I think it was back in March that I decided to regroup my seasons to help me psychologically. I now have grouped April, May and June as Springtime. July, August and September are my new summer. Because September is always glorious. Fall doesn't begin until October when the leaves begin to change and includes November AND December. Which leaves winter in January, February and March. That last month was the real zinger. Because every children's book out there would lead you to believe spring begins in March. And in Minnesota that is a flat out lie. 

Anyway, I like this new system. I think of it often. And since it's December, it's still fall for me. 

But my kids are ready for the snow! And Christmas. I got out only the unbreakable decorations this year, and the kids promptly decorated the living room into "Christmas Land!" It is a lovely place that removes every decoration from around the house, way more fun to set up than to clean up. And you can only go into Christmas Land if you are wearing a christmas tree headband. (And those are our new grey walls! I LOVE them! We went with a different grey in the end because the one we started out with was too beige. So we started over, again, and love the feel in there...)

We had a really wonderful Thanksgiving, eating lunch with the Groves at 1:00 and dinner with the Harrington's at 4:00. The rest of the weekend was incredibly relaxed. Hardly went anywhere and I started and finished a book in two days. The best! And then Sunday night Elsie got a terrible bout of the flu and we've been passing it around every since. But as Elsie said, "at least I got to eat my toast in my bed! so that's fun!" And I realized I am raising some awesome optimists. It old her that even when things feel hard, if she can always find the thing that she is thankful for, like toast in bed while she recovers from the flu, she'll have a very, very wonderful life.

happy thanksgiving!

I just watched this video that was posted on Ann Voskamp's blog and it moved me so much. It is a beautiful telling of the power of prayer and the power of love. Watch it to the very end. It's a story of bright light permeating the darkness: the gospel story...and we are all so desperate for that story!

imitation is the highest form of flattery

I made this little picture on the right for Rory while the kids made birthday cards for him back in October. Ivar liked it so much, he made his own copy to give to Rory too. My card was mediocre, but Ivar's version is darling. I love it so much.

gym teacher

A few months ago while sitting in at my computer in what must have been some happy and generous mood, I got an email looking for gym teachers for Friday's during the winter for area home school families. And I happily replied, "I'm in!"

I haven't quite figured out what I was thinking in that moment because on the whole, for what I would consider the entirety of my life, I hated gym. I was a pansy at the flexed arm hang. I never learned how to do a cart wheel. I scheduled band lessons right in the middle of swimming days so it "wouldn't make sense for me to get in the water..." I skipped nearly three weeks of first hour during the basketball unit in 9th grade claiming I had monthly cramps. Monthly, as in three-fourths of the month-ly.

To be fair, there were some high points to gym though. Like every halloween when our elementary gym was turned into a big maze made out of tumbling mats standing on their ends. That was epic. Or when I got first place in the frisbee throw in our 3rd grade olympics. Or when I won the entire bracket of foosball with the future varsity soccer captain as my partner. Or when we had free time in swimming and I made up synchronized swim routines with my friend Jenny. That basically sums up my athletic life story.

Anyway, the email came, I signed my pregnant self up, with one-year-old in tow, and Friday was our first day. And I realized my goal was to make sure this was an awesome experience for kids, and to pull from my incredible repertoire of camp games. And to get to use my new parachute.

So we showed up on Friday, and it was a blast. I have the little kids, and it's awesome. After about 45 minutes of organized activities a little girl asked if we could play princesses and a boy said he wanted to play skywalkers and so we ran all over the field and played princesses finding safety in the soccer nets from the shooting skywalkers.

That's my kind of gym class.

cute kids