the everyday

Our days have been good and creative lately, full of imagination and pretend play. We have made many valentines most of which still need to be sent. We have spent a lot of time indoor camping, and one day this super-fun mom even made microwave s'mores to eat while having a picnic lunch at our indoor campsite. We've worked hard on paper box rockets and Ivar's even has a green cup, "to hold my crayons!"

My favorite picture above is the one of Rory working at the red desk in Harriet's room. When it's too cold he will work from there and often has the door closed so he can concentrate. But if that door is open he will have company.

Also, just so that I never forget, that picture of Elsie with the butterfly paper was a game she made up and had me play for much of a morning. Rory is always making up new games, so this was her sweet imitation. The game was called "Milk Bottle Dice" and was played by rolling the dice, and then moving the milk and juice bottles around on the butterflies that many times. I'm still unclear how one might win this game, but Elsie would tell me excitedly, "we're almost there!" "we're winning!" "good job, mom!" "this is a great game, right?"

And it sort of was. Completely original and great.

happy hattie joy joy

Oh this girl. I know I am going to sound like a broken record, because I just read what I wrote about Harriet at two weeks and at six weeks and every other time I have mentioned her...but this girl! She is a complete joy. She is content and sweet and gives her smiles so, so generously. There will be entire wake/sleep cycles where she will lay happily on her back under her jungle gym, fall asleep on her own and only whimper when she wakes up and wants to eat. I'm waiting for her to become demanding, but so far our little Harriet is absolutely chill. Our most common refrain around here is either Rory or I saying when she does cry out, "oh that's right...we have a third kid." 

She is now four months. I told my mom this and she said, "that's my absolute favorite baby age!" And I can see why. She gabs all day with me, lights up like a sunbeam when I walk into the room, and has discovered the best toy ever: her feet. She rolls over, but ends up a bit frustrated when she has ended up on her belly again. Sometimes she'll roll back over to her back, but most of the time she cries out for assistance.

She is quite popular in the mornings. Rory wants a good, long snuggle with her first thing. When Elsie wakes up and comes down stairs, it would seem she has a magnetic pull right towards Hattie and they spend a good part of the morning chit chatting with each other. And then Ivar comes down and does the same. Harriet is already in 9 month clothes, filling them completely with her length. And lately she has been hanging out in her high chair, all propped with with blankets, sitting up and very proud to be apart of meal times. She is absolutely our joy and we love her like crazy.

valentines prep

Sometimes you take a picture of your kids and it somehow serves as a little glimpse into the future. That top picture of Elsie feels that way to me. She looks older in it. She looks like she's growing up. She still could use a hairbrush, but it's still amazing to catch these glimpses. I love that girl so much.

We're in full swing for Valentine's day around here. That mostly means the kids have been sorting and scattering their Paw Patrol and Princess valentines all over the house. And most importantly, we made heart cookies. Hot tip: give your kids ten cookies on a baking sheet with their own dish of frosting. This way, when the 3 year old licks her knife after every dip into the frosting dish, you can be sure that only she will get to eat those delicious cookies. The rest of the cookies and frosting never came into contact with all of those licks, keeping our cookies lick-free. And we could remember which cookies were Elsie's based on the amount of sprinkles on each one...

roundest snowman in minnesota

Rory and Ivar were outside for hours yesterday after church. They went on a long hike through the woods, tracked deer prints, looked for a good tree for a tree house. They wrestled and threw snowballs. And they built the most perfect snowman you ever did see. Turns out, Rory is a meticulous snowman maker. I would have taken a picture of the completed snowman, except the two of them turned on the photographer and started hitting her with snowballs. She had to run back into the house, without even a thank you for the carrot, rocks and scarf she so lovingly brought out them!

Later, while driving home from a super bowl party, Ivar said in normal conversation, "what did I ever do to you?" We were so surprised by this sort of sass and I asked him sternly where he had heard that phrase before. He said, "from you, mom. You were yelling it when you ran back into the house." 

snow days

We got so much snow and wind this week that our schools were cancelled two days in a row! Could you hear the rejoicing?!! The drifts are awesome and Ivar and I ventured out both days to play for a bit, even in the midst of the blizzard. We didn't stay out for too long that day...

Yesterday Rory got the tractor out, which is always a celebrated event. Ivar wanted to go for a ride so I took him out to get him safely on board. And then Elsie and Harriet and I watched the excitement from inside, delighted that there are "rainbows in the wintertime too!"

snow fort supper

We celebrated the end of January in epic style last night. Inspired by the snow forts of my childhood and the chili and cornbread supper we shared with our best friends and next door neighbors, The Andersons, we worked all weekend trying to build the walls of our winter picnic fort. (That's me in the purple hat pictured below.)

Rory helped on Saturday to shovel the foundation, and I rolled snowballs on Sunday to build up its height. A few things were realized right away: 1) wet snow is very, very heavy snow. And 2) I am not ten years old anymore. It was a strength and cardio workout that felt awesome. and cold. and after a while, hard on my knees. Again, I'm not ten anymore.

But Ivar and I persevered and in the end, the snow was so wet (think snow cones) that I could pull the snow up on both sides of the fort to make it taller. It felt a lot like throwing pots, when I used to use the wheel in high school to make clay pottery. But instead of pinching the pots higher, I was pulling the snow taller. It was strangely fulfilling and made for a creative afternoon. It didn't get nearly as tall as I had hoped, but my five-year-old helper was easily distracted by the cats and working hard to dig a "secret hole" most of the afternoon. I missed Jennifer and Betsy Anderson! 

I found the Ikea tea light candle holders we used at our wedding (becoming quite the wintertime accessory) and then went inside to make the chili and cornbread muffins. Harriet kindly fell asleep just as we were about to head out for our picnic, and napped in the living room while we went outside to eat. We sat on our kitchen chair cushions and ate our steamy chili and Elsie only cried about her cheese not melting properly for a little while...

After we ate, we sat there and celebrated the end of January as we watched the sun set. January flew by, even though we were sick for most of it. (All five of us got pink eye, staggered all month long...) But we are glad for a new month and hopeful for better health!

We went back inside and I cleaned up the kitchen while the rest of the family played a new board game Rory has created. As it got darker we saw the candles begin to glow in the night and Ivar wanted to go back out for hot chocolate with me. We bundled up and sat out under the stars and talked about how fun it is to make a memory. I thanked him for being my helper all afternoon and told him I saw him working hard, and hard work can lead to really special times. Special times like drinking hot chocolate by candle light right before bed, under a starry sky.

quite literally five years old

Yesterday Ivar told me, "Mom, one time Uncle Troy was driving in his car and he set his phone in the cup holder, but there was a big cup of water there and he dropped his phone in it! And when he went to get a new one, they gave him a lemon! Why would they give him a lemon, Mom? He wanted a new phone."

And today I was reading to him the instructions for the Family Farm game. Rory had told us it would be wise to set it up on the card table so we could come back to it all weekend. (It's a long game and one trip around the board equals one winter-spring-summer-fall year.) I read to Ivar, "Nominate one player to be the banker. Players then need to agree to how many years will be played before ending the game." Ivar's was aghast. "We're going to play this game for years?!! Is that why Dad said we should use the card table? Will I be eight when we're done playing?"

super love

We've read Super Love countless times this week, a sweet story about a little girl who plans a wedding for her cat and her stuffed puppy. Unfortunately, the cat doesn't seem to want to cooperate. She sets up her stuffed animals to watch, decorates the aisle and is all set to be the flower girl, but her cat still doesn't want to participate. In the end, her dad comes home from work and her mom and dad get married again. It's adorable and Elsie apparently has been taking notes.

She woke up Friday and wanted to dress for her wedding. We spent a lot of time trying to figure out what she could use as a veil. I cut up a white kitchen garbage bag but she didn't like that. I suggested a white skirt, but she didn't like that either. Finally I suggested this fitted sheet, and that made the bride-to-be happy.

I got out my wedding album so she could see me as a bride and she poured over each picture.

Then we made an aisle and got the church all set for a wedding. Ivar said excitedly, "the wood box can be the dresser! Mom, why is there a dresser in the front of every church?" A sweet time to tell him about the altar table. Then he went upstairs and got all of his mini Bibles so we would each have a book in our hands for singing. Elsie insisted that "weddings are at night like Maddie" so we just had a rehearsal, waiting for the sun to go down for the real thing. It was also decided that Ivar would be the cotton ball boy, a new spin on the flower girl.

After supper we had the actual wedding, and the groom was very good to put a sport coat over his pajamas. It was family movie night, so we got out the video from our wedding to show the kids. Elsie was mesmerized. Mostly the kids were fascinated watching video of their cousins and aunts and uncles walking down the aisle from ten years ago. 

It was a sweet day of wedding fun. At one point, as Elsie trotted across the room in her cinderella high heels, I said to Rory, "don't blink. the real deal is just around the corner." And we both got teary. 

life with three

Just taking a minute here to write out my thoughts on how life has changed with the addition of our third, sweet baby. I've been thinking about it quite a bit, actually,

My first thought is that this has been a pretty smooth transition compared to the last baby. I had a hunch that it would be. The change from one to two kids was rough on me, partly because it was a big adjustment, but also because we had just moved, our marriage was in need of some tlc, I was still trying to find local friends, I had a dear friendship that was greatly strained, I didn't have a routine to my days and the hormones I was dealt were bad news. It made for a rocky ride.

In contrast to Elsie's arrival, the addition of Harriet has been much smoother partly because I didn't move nine days after she was born, our marriage grew even stronger with her birth, I have local friends to call and local places to frequent, that strained friendship has been restored, and this time around I have been given the happy hormone cocktail. You don't get to choose that last factor. It's why some are slammed with postpartum depression and others are not, and can vary with each baby.

But a few things have had to change this time around. When I had the flu last weekend I got to thinking. I was so sick and had just spent the week dealing with Ivar's pink eye. And then Elsie and Harriet got colds too. Part of this is totally normal for a family with little kids in the wintertime. But I also knew that much of the reason for our sickness was our pace of life. It was clear that I couldn't maintain the same commitments I had been trying to keep since Harriet was born. It was taking a toll on all of our well-being and also affecting my milk supply. So I spent an afternoon declining, saying no, and backing out of wonderful invitations and it felt right. We all know that saying no to something is actually saying yes to something else. I was saying yes to our health and happiness.

So the pace of life has had to change with three. And that's fine for this season.

The other thing that I have noticed with three is how hairy and how awesome siblings can be. There are days when I feel stretched thin. But there are many more days when I feel the fullness of moments like the one pictured above and marvel at the fact that the baby was fussing and that Ivar figured out how to calm her. I'm starting to really believe the more the merrier.

So all in all, it's been a nice three months. Perhaps the greatest improvement is the gratitude and contentment I feel as a stay at home mom. I fought this for too long, wondering if I should be doing more, contributing to the world in a larger way. But I don't wrestle with that anymore. I have been given peace that has led to a deep joy and a true sense of purpose. My contribution to the world is huge and worthwhile and currently playing/napping upstairs. Thanks be to God!

That's my update. Three months in with three kids and life feels wonderful and full. The pace has had to slow down and I have had to say no to great things in order to say yes to the best things. I couldn't be more grateful.

puzzle update

Rory came down yesterday and told me he was all out of clean clothes. And I looked at him and said, "well clearly I've been a little busy..." and motioned towards the puzzle table.

I have never ever been a puzzle person. I've never had the patience. But this one is changing all that. Ivar is still super helpful. Most of the time when I find a piece that is a fit I just hand it to him and he can figure out where it goes. He looks on the box and then finds that part of the puzzle. It's been really fun for us to work together and fun to talk about all the states in our country and who we know who lives there.

And for added challenge, we often have trains and kitties crowding us on the table. It's hard to see all the pieces when there are stuffed animals set on top of them, but it makes it all the more rewarding when I do find that missing piece, somewhere in the carpet below.

It's quiet playtime now, which means I can work on the puzzle a bit by myself. Got to go!

hygge and the 5 senses

Do remember the post I wrote last winter about Hygge? I just read it again and it's really good stuff. I love this concept so much and have been thinking about it a lot this winter. Mostly in trying to be proactive in keeping my happy attitude strong during these cold months.

So far, I'm really enjoying this winter. Probably because it's only been really cold for about two weeks. Also because it hasn't been icy. The last two winters were icy which meant walks outside just weren't worth it. Remember how angry I was when I fell flat in the Walgreens parking lot? I was so mad! But this winter lends itself to safe trips from the car right in to Target.

The other thing is that I am taking notice of my five senses and making sure they're all satisfied. I basically channel my inner second-grader and try to make sure every sense is covered.

Sound: I like to have pandora playing. And usually on some sort of calming station like piano or orchestra, my Pride and Prejudice soundtrack station, Bethel music station or low-key folk. Music makes everything better.
Smell: I try to have a candle burning at all times. I got a big evergreen candle at Menards at the end of the season and I love that one,even thought it's no longer Christmas. I know many who love their essential oil diffusers for this purpose too.
Taste: Hot Tea. All the time. Or a hot coffee. But this is key. To always have a mug of something warm nearby. I am constantly putting my drink back in the microwave for a quick reheat, but having something warm to drink really helps. And I'm also on a muffin kick lately. Muffins are easy, smell good and make for a quick breakfast for the kids. I may start to look like a muffin, but at least I'm happy. Muffins for the win!
Touch: This has more to do with what I'm wearing. I keep it cozy. I'm a stay-at-home mom, afterall. And I just told you I'm eating a lot of muffins...
See: This one is important for me. I need light. So I want my house to have the sunshine pouring in, if it's shining. The fire will do too. And I took instagram off of my phone and logged off of facebook for a while..because seeing what other people are up to never seems to lead to contentment. So more sunshine, less screen time. Less screen time opens up more time reading and doing puzzles, as well.

These things are helping me really love and enjoy this winter. And I am grateful. But we all know the real test is come the end of February and into March and April when the winter starts to drag on. So I'm arming myself with these practical Hygge strategies and have high hopes I'll make it through with a positive attitude.

1000 pieces with a 3 and 5 year old

It's still sub-zero here in Minnesota and our family is basically living within ten feet of the cozy hot fire at all times. So I decided it was time to whip out a puzzle. My sister-in-law Sara raved about this puzzle at Christmas. She called it "a joy" and said it was so fun because even though it is 1,000 pieces, it is easy to find where a piece goes. Now that's my kind of puzzle. So yesterday I bought it for $11 at Target and brought it home to Ivar and Elsie.

Surprisingly, it is going really, really well. Ivar is proving to be quite the faithful, patient, puzzler. Elsie mostly likes to eat pretzel sticks and watch us. But their attitude is great. And we've only knocked a cookie sheet off the card table two times. (Rory and I are taking bets as to how many pieces will be missing once the puzzle is complete.)

Anyway, I recommend this puzzle too. Ivar is able to find where pieces go, and the design lends itself to easy sorting.  It's like four or five mini puzzles inside of a bigger one. We're loving it and I think you would too.

snow day on the island of sodor

My friend Faye posted a picture of her son pushing cotton balls around with his little bulldozer and loading them into the dump truck for snow removal. So awesome. So yesterday Ivar and I bought a bag of jumbo cotton balls for a buck and suddenly the train table became the favorite activity again. Lots of snowy storylines came to life, and lots of need for Byron the bulldozer to clear the rails to keep Sodor safe and the trains running on time.

Parenting Little Kids is like a trip to Panera

So we've been home a lot these past two weeks. Everyone has taken a turn getting sick and even though it's miserable to be sick, it's also shed some light on what is actually possible in my life with a 5 year old, 3 year old and 3 month old.

And I've come to realize something. At this season of time: YOU PICK TWO. Just like Panera gives you two items in an entree, any given day gives you two tasks to accomplish.

Each day it seems, between feeding the baby every three hours, feeding the family three times, and leaving room for all the surprises that are sure to surface, there is margin for just two more tasks:
YOU PICK TWO:
-Fun Mom: This option includes a mom that makes play dough, helps build lego helicopters, puts her snow pants on, makes hopscotch out of masking tape on the carpet and bakes muffins with her children.
-Scratch Cook: Come dinnertime, this option ensures that there will be more than frozen pizza or fish sticks on the table. If not chosen, those items are completely acceptable.
-Play date Pal: A play date is good for everyone. But you can't do anything house-related when you're at another friend's house.
-Housekeeping: This option ensures the house looks generally tidy at the end of the day. Maybe even vacuumed...
-Laundry Lady: Washed, dried, put in the general right place (may still live in laundry baskets...) your husband will be glad he has clean socks and underwear again.
-Shower for the Mama: In the case that a mom is not actually able to rise before her children, this shower has to happen at another point during the day, and a shower takes time.
-Grocery Getter/Target Trip: This option has to happen at some point during the week. If it is not factored in there likely will be waffles for dinner with a side of fruit cocktail and canned corn.

So there it is. In this season of life, I can accomplish two of those tasks in any given day. And then it's up to me to assess my day accordingly. If I went grocery shopping and made a good meal in a day, then the fact that the house has gone to pot and the laundry is still strewn all around the house is okay. Maybe tomorrow will be their day.

I recently started reading Jen Hatmaker's For the Love on the recommendation of every living soul on planet earth. I'm not super far into it, but if I could xerox chapter one and hand it out on the street corner, I would. Next time you're in Target, take it off the shelf, stand by your cart and read that first chapter. And then you'll likely place the book in your cart to purchase making this perfectly legal. But man that first chapter is something special. All about how ridiculous our expectations are for being a woman and running a household with ridiculously high standards.

It got me thinking along these lines and then I decided my own measure would be the Panera Plan. I will evaluate myself on the two tasks I picked for the day and give myself all the grace in the world for the other tasks that were not picked and therefore exposing the reality that I cannot do it all. But I can pick two.

little becca

Rory is starting to call Harriet, "Little Becca" because she seems to have a few of my personality traits. 

Last night we had her laying under her play gym happily and the rest of us went into the kitchen to eat. Soon she was crying in the living room and Rory went to put her in her bouncy chair and bring her in the kitchen. When she arrived she lit up and started chatting and we imagined her to be saying, "oh hey. I think you forgot about me. I was just in the living room, but then you were all together and I wasn't here but now I am. with you guys. where I think you probably meant for me to be." I've got some serious FOMO (fear of missing out) and it seems Harriet does too.

She's quite sensitive. If I don't go to her right away (usually during tummy time) when she is crying she will let me know her feelings have been very hurt when I finally do. She can stick her lower lip out (something I did until I was like seventeen...) and dig her face into my shoulder and just wants me to know she's a little sad and tender that I wasn't coming when she called for me.

And finally, she's chatty. All day long she narrates her day. We hear her jib jab and sing out and coo and it seems she already is hitting her 20,000 words a day as a female. And that's no surprise. I definitely hit mine every day. And Elsie for sure uses hers.

sistertalk

Elsie loves Harriet with her whole heart. And it is so fun to watch. She loves to hold her sister. And when Elsie comes down in the morning she jogs to Harriet first and sings a falsetto song that says something along the lines of "hi baby harriet. are you awake baby? I love you." combined with lots of nonsense words...) I took this video after the kids had just been sledding and had their hot chocolate. (Deep thought: why oh why do we give our children hot chocolate after they have been outside to run off all the sugar?!! I ponder this every single time I end up with sugared preschoolers on my hands...) Anyway, you can see that hot chocolate all over Elsie's face, and she's sporting some awesome hat hair.
sistertalk
I captured this moment and I love it. They are connected already. And will be forever. That warms my heart so much. There's nothing like a sister.

I got a great line from Elsie last night. Elsie was trying to cross my legs and then ride on my foot like a pony. If I'm in the right chair at the right height I can do this, but I was holding the baby, on Elsie's bed and I collapsed my foot sliding her to the ground. I said, "Elsie, I'm just not strong enough. We can't do that game right now." And she furrowed her brow and said, "but you have a lot of hair!"

She was referencing Samson and Delilah and I was proud.

sick days and hoar frost

Well, we're beginning the year with a whole lot of sickness. On Monday I took Ivar in for bacterial pink eye which meant we were quarantined to our house for the week. It also meant that four times a day I have the great joy of putting burning eye drops in my 5-year-old's eyes while he screams, "I'm on fire! My eyes are on fire!" And then on Thursday in the middle of the night I started to get achy, sweaty, sore, and could not stop shivering. For about 24 hours there I had eight blankets stacked on top of me and still was shaking.

Today I have absolutely no energy and a splitting headache, but at least I can sit up in bed. That's serious progress there. I always marvel at how we take our health for granted. It seems to take a sick day to remind me of what an absolute gift our health is, each and every day.

Getting the flu wasn't actually the plan for this weekend. I was supposed to get my hair cut and colored with my sister on Friday afternoon. And then Rory and I were going to head to his parent's house with the kids for an overnight, allowing us to go to dinner and a movie and out for breakfast and shopping in the morning. But that wasn't in the cards. (Though they still took Ivar and Elsie for an overnight, bless their hearts, so I could rest with just the baby to care for.) The whole Groves family is gathering this afternoon to read our prayers and thanksgivings from last year, and I am crushed to be missing it. I love that tradition so much.

But here I sit, sore and achy and in bed. And only because I feel so all around cruddy, I can handle having to lay here. (Though when my tylenol wears off I will get the shakes and sweats again...)

I'm just realizing I have nothing really of substance to say at the moment. Except that I seem to be looking for pity for feeling so ill! That's terrible. So I'm going to offset my complaining with some glorious pictures of the hoar frost we woke to on Monday morning, plus an awesome video of Ivar and Elsie sledding all by themselves. I had gone in the house to feed Hattie and when I went back out to look for them I found them living it up on this teeny little hill. Oh I love them so much.
sledding 2016 from Becca Groves on Vimeo.