The Christmas City Express

A week ago Ivar was eating lunch at the kitchen table and sadly lamented, "I miss my choo choo trains." I asked to clarify, "You mean the ones up in your room?" "Yes. I miss them. I want to play with them." I assured him he could go and play with them after lunch.

But it got me thinking. This boy is crazy about trains right now. I sat eating my lunch, watching him miss his trains and thought I've got to get this kid on a train. And then I realized there probably are some Christmas train rides this time of year.

I found The Christmas City Express up in Duluth, emailed Rory out in his office with the last minute idea and called my folks to see if they would watch Elsie for the 24 hours we would be gone. It was a go.

So Friday afternoon the three of us drove up to Duluth for 24 hours of Christmas magic. Ivar was so excited when the train pulled up at Fitgers Depot. He held his ticket and gave it to the conductor proudly. The train ride was fifteen minutes and drove so we could see Bentleyville, a huge and awesome light display in Duluth. When the train stopped we were at the Duluth Depot, also known as Christmas City.

Inside there were model railroads and play railroads. We stayed in that room and played for a while until a bell rang and the doors opened into the next room housing all the huge trains. When we walked in there was a girl singing Christmas carols with her keyboard. And all the trains had wreaths on them.

We were led to a carpeted area where a fantastically animated woman greeted us. We sang Jingle Bells with the girl who had now left her keyboard and picked up her guitar. And then the woman who greeted us started telling us the story of The Christmas City Express, a story that she herself wrote. She was awesome. I'm assuming some sort of Elementary Ed major with a theater background. She knew her audience.

The story was about a train that she once rode when she was a little girl, going to see family for Christmas. The train got stuck in the snow while deep in the woods and everyone was so sad that they would miss Christmas. So the conductor went out into the woods and brought back a beautiful spruce tree to set up in the train. The little girl took the bow off of the package she held on her lap, and placed it on the tree. And then everyone else took the ribbons and bows off their gifts and decorated the tree too. The other passengers on the train began singing Christmas carols and then they heard jingle bells out in the snow.

And this point, we all heard jingle bells coming from inside the train behind the screen. The kids started yelling, "It's Santa! It's Santa!" And sure enough, just like in the story, Santa appeared.

Oh my word. Christmas joy filled my heart! I was as excited as the kids.

After the story we got a snowflake ornament, just like the one Santa had given to the little girl in the book before the train started back up and the people in the story returned to the Duluth Depot. And then we got to meet Santa.

Ivar had practiced many times in the car. We would say, "And Santa will say, 'and what do you want for Christmas, little boy?" And Ivar knew his answer, "A choo choo train!!!" I got a little video of their sweet farewell.


santa and ivar from Becca Groves on Vimeo.

After we met Santa the bell rang and it was time to get back on the train, back to Fitgers Station. It was a fifteen minute ride, and when we returned they had hot chocolate, cookies and a huge bon fire waiting for us. The program director in me was in awe. They hit  this whole experience out. of. the. park.

Then we drove to the lift bridge and had supper at Grandma's. But not Grandma Margaret's, Ivar would have you know. A restaurant named Grandma's was just about as confusing as it gets.

It was an awesome 24 hours. We stayed at the Best Western in Superior, Wisconsin, where the rooms were about fifty dollars cheaper than any hotel in Duluth, and it is just over the bridge. We watched Diners, Drive-ins and Dives and Ivar got a real kick out of Guy's name. A guy named Guy. Now that is silly.

In the morning we had breakfast and swam in the pool before we went back to Canal Park to get hot drinks at Caribou. We were home by 1:30 to get Elsie and were so glad to see her, and so glad we had left her for special time with Grandma and Grandpa. She would have loved the train ride, but the drive back and forth and overnight in a pack and play would have been hairy. It just made our quick trip so much smoother. And fun to focus solely on Ivar.

I can't say enough good things about this experience. Look it up next year: The Christmas City Express. Super sweet, a super fun memory and hopefully a new tradition for our family.

lately at the grovestead

It's cold here. The cats hang out under their heat lamp like the spoiled sort-of-farm-cats-sort-of-pets that they are. Elsie can be found hanging out with them every chance she gets. Which makes getting her into her car seat a bear...why would you ever want to get in a cold car when you can hang out with warm cats?

Ivar used his dump truck to haul dirty ice chunks that he found in the garage that had fallen off the cars. He took that load up and down the driveway on Monday morning when we were getting some new snow.

The chickens don't get out much anymore. We force them out for fresh air when we can, but most of the time they huddle together in their down comforter feathers.

Ivar LOVES making sugar cookies. And really, who doesn't. I can't help myself with that dough and ended up with a tummy ache. It's a crappy feeling when, as an adult, you give yourself a tummy ache by eating too much cookie dough. It's like a double insult: I feel gross and I should know better.

When I returned from putting Elsie to bed I found a few additions had been made to the counter. Ivar played with the dough until it was his bedtime, and then that cookie dough was thrown away.

Since Thanksgiving Rory has been determined to make a turkey. He thawed it for days, soaked it in a brine overnight and people, I usually do not like turkey, but I loved that bird. Something about that brine. I made stuffing, Rory roasted some vegetables, we opened a can of cranberries and we ate like kings on a low-key Sunday night.

The turkey that changed my thoughts on turkey.

Ivar has gotten creative in keeping Elsie away. Here he made a barricade and played happily with his train while she watched from the outside. And you know, I found it to be very smart. Some days I encourage sharing and togetherness, but other days I see a sibling barricade as a wise idea that leads to peace.

But honestly, who wouldn't want to play with this girl?!!

all in a good day's work...

Rory has gone to work in his office-in-the-woods every day this cold winter. His little wood burning stove has been working great.

Which means each morning we watch Daddy walk to work, across the snow, with his hot coffee in one hand and five gallon bucket of wood in the other, laptop strapped around his shoulders. We know the day is especially cold when he comes in at lunch and cuts more wood with the circular saw.

family bloopers

Oh man. We got a CD in the mail today full of glorious family pictures taken on our farm. We have hundreds to pick from and they are awesome. Jaime Rau came and worked her magic with our family and she. is. magic. I can't wait to share more pictures here...from Ivar pulling a wagon of pumpkins, to colorful quilts under big oak trees. They're awesome.

But with hundreds of stunning pictures to choose from, my favorite pictures, the ones I keep returning to, are the pictures Jaime put in a file of bloopers. Because they feel the most true to our life. We live bloopers every day. Some of us try really hard each day to keep up appearances, but not everyone is cooperative. Though dressed adorably, they've got their finger up their nose.

But this is our every day. A mom moves about each day trying to make sure life runs smoothly because this is our job. But life doesn't run smoothly because kids by their very definition ensure life stops running smoothly. A fact that makes these blooper pictures feel so strangely affirming. I love them. I love the picture perfect ones too, but I really love the bloopers.

An awesome shift has happened in me over the past two months. It's a shift I've been praying would happen for a very long time. I couldn't force it. I wasn't able to bring the change in myself. And I don't know how to describe it much more than I feel like I'm back. Something changed so that I've started dreaming up projects again and things I want to accomplish. And then I've been getting things done. It's like I have room to be creative again and have my imagination back.

I have found a sincere joy for the season of motherhood I am smack in the middle of. It was really hard there for a while. There still are really hard moments. But my kids are good company. I love being with them. I'm better at getting away so I can come back home. I am not as resentful toward the daily tasks, and even more importantly, I am way more graceful in the way I treat myself and how I am measuring up to my intense personal expectations. I'm trying to measure my life less on how my life looks, and more on how my life feels. And my life is feeling fun.

These bloopers mean so much to me because these are the true pictures of our imperfect, multiple-chins, beautiful life.

(And just to keep it totally real, just a few minutes after this picture of me and Elsie was taken, she started throwing up with a violent case of the 12 hour stomach flu that then morphed into Hand, Foot and Mouth disease. Which would explain her not-super-smiley mood during the photo shoot. Now that's real life.)

Dear Elsie, almost 17 months

Dear Elsie,
You are almost 17 months old. That is amazing and awesome. You are so full of life, so full of passion and so determined. Not a day goes by when your daddy and I don't comment, "She's really fun" or "She's so sweet, isn't she?" You amaze us and surprise us.

I'm not sure what we were expecting...probably another little Ivar. But you are completely your own and I love getting to know you.

You are messy. Food ends up everywhere on you and you don't seem to mind. But this pairs well with your love of baths. You also have a real joy for toothbrushes. Most of the day you will have a tooth brush in your mouth or in your hand. If anyone is in the bathroom, you come begging. Your stocking this year will be full of tooth brushes, and I can't wait to see your reaction.

You don't let me put you down until you are ready. Your little legs clench my waist and if I dare peel you off of me you let me have it. Your scream is angry and your feelings are so sad. There's a real hint of drama in you, Elsie. I'm sure we'll see more of that as the years go on.

You have just a few words: Baba, Mama, Dada, Lolo (lotion, for your itchy, sensitive skin), Daydo Daydo (kitty, chicken, animal...) and my personal favorite: Crakah (which can either mean cracker and tractor).

Going outside is your very favorite thing to do. You get very excited when we start to bundle up and helpfully bring your shoes and jacket to me. Once outside you visit the cats and talk and laugh with them, and then visit the chickens. Even in this terrible cold you insist on being outside and protest with sadness when it is time to come back inside.

You love your brother, and lately have been taking the lead in finding things to do. He watches you, and no matter what you are playing with, you make it look fun. So he wants it too. You are the one who pulled out all of the canned goods to play with. You are the one who figured out how to climb onto the kitchen table with no assistance.You are the one who waddled into the living room with the bread knife you found in the open dishwasher. You have no trouble finding things to do...

When you wake up in the morning we will hear you jumping in your crib, hanging onto the crib you jump as high as you can. And it is impressively high. Eventually you tucker out and start to call for us. But listening to your squeaky mattress crib aerobics in the baby monitor makes us laugh every time.

We love you so much, Elsie. Love your smile. Love your spirit. Love your strong sense of self.
I am so glad you are mine.
Love,
Mama

baby shepherds of the star!

Ivar keeps our days full of giggles. And I make a serious effort to grab a pen to get the words down exactly as they were said...because you can't make this stuff up.

My personal favorite as of late was while he was playing the the fabric nativity people that velcro onto our advent calendar. He said,  "Baby shepherds of the star! Don't talk grumpy! Okay. That's better. That's nice."

Ivar was making up silly nonsense words to the song Let it Snow.
I said, "That is super funny."
Ivar replied, "It certainly is."

While he was telling me something he snorted involuntarily. It was like he inhaled too quick and it really surprised him. He said, "Did you hear that sound? That was in my butt hole that is way back in my mouth!" And he pointed between his upper lip and nose.

Ivar wanted a watermelon when we were at Alde and we discussed foods that are out of season. This morning while eating breakfast he commented, "We haven't had rice krispies in a long time!" He ate for a while and then added, "That's nice it's rice krispies' season."

(This picture above stopped me in my tracks. He looks so old. I felt like I caught a glimpse of who this boy will be in a few years. The picture on top is still more "true" to who I see every day...but something about the expression in this second shot made me remember this boy is growing every single day!)

painting projects

After finishing the kitchen, and loving it, I decided to keep moving on this whole 'paint the house' project. Saturday I went to Menards and found the paint guy who knows me quite well now and told him I was moving onto the stairwell. Ivar helped me before he went down for his nap.

The next night I got a little carried away. I finished my second coat on the bottom of the stairs, and decided it might look nice to paint the wall going up the stairs red as well. I worked fast, excited about this idea. And not until the wall was painted did I step back.

And I didn't like it immediately. It felt gloomy. And I don't do gloomy.

So Monday night I cracked open an old can of primer and covered my mistake. I might have been more annoyed, except Rory was watching Planes, Trains and Automobiles, and this made for awesome listening as I repainted two walls.

And then on Tuesday night I put down my first coat of Antique White, or Masking Tape...the same color I painted our sunny room.

Wednesday night I worked on a message I was giving at our thursday morning bible study. But Thursday night I hit it again, while listening Carrie Underwood in the Sound of Music. And that was way less fun than Planes, Trains and Automobiles...

And now it's done! Last night I taped up the upstairs hallway so it's ready to be painted next. Since I have all the paint stuff out anyway...

Currently I'm at the auto shop with the truck, hoping we can get the wiper fluid to stop leaking and start squirting. I love it here. It's quiet, they have coffee and I'm catching up on so much. I'm off today for my second Soul Sisterhood Mother Daughter Retreat and feel so ready to hole up for a weekend of crafting and cooking with moms and daughters. Happy Weekend everybody!

real life decorating

We drove home from Thanksgiving and got all fired up to spend the next day decorating the house. We talked excitedly to Ivar about putting lights on the chicken coop, setting up all of the nativity sets and hanging the advent calendars on the wall. 

We went to bed and woke up the next morning and I was in a terrible mood. Just crabby. Rory was ready to hit it, but I was annoyed that the kitchen had been hit by a bomb. I wanted to take half a day to clean the house before we added more stuff to it. And then I said, "what I'd like to do is rearrange the furniture in the living room, but if we do that, I really should just paint the walls when we have the china hutch moved out in the middle of the room. And if we do that, then we really shouldn't hang anything on the walls yet, until the walls are painted and we know where everything is going."

At this point Rory told me he'd be outside hanging the christmas lights on the chicken coop.

He walked outside and I heard what I had just said. I decided to take a timeout. A timeout for me includes a cup of coffee and putting my contacts in. I took a few moments, let the caffeine hit my system and realized I wasn't up for moving furniture either.

The miraculous part of the day is that it actually turned around. Rory came back in the house and I told him I had uninvited Crabby Becca to our Friday. I introduced him to Caffeinated Becca and it worked. She was much nicer and we actually had a second start to our day.

That, and I completely lowered my expectations realizing we couldn't do everything I wanted to in my head. I had Ivar play happily with all the decorations from one bin while I cleaned my kitchen and got a handle on my house. I was completely able to join back in the merriment.

It's funny the way life actually plays out sometimes. The vision you have in your head versus the reality of the moment. You don't ever see bad moods on Pinterest. I was thinking about Friday's events while we unwrapped our tree tonight. We had planned on getting it with Mark and Kathy again on Monday, but the forecast is supposed to be terribly cold, and we each have little kids. The awesome idea of cutting our own tree and the reality of freezing temperatures and blowing snow just didn't match up this time. So Rory went out tonight....by himself...and bought a tree at Menards while I gave the kids a bath. It's not a super inspired story, but it's real life. And the tree is beautiful. 

Anyway, I think I'm writing all of this to say that I believe I am actually making progress in letting things go. Pinterest can set the bar pretty high. And some of those things are possible, but not all of those things are possible. And sometimes the heightened expectations can turn a girl into a monster. But what I'm learning is that the girl still has control over the monster and can reset her ideals in order to make a much happier home. 

milk and cookies party

Last December we invited all of the people on our street to our house for a Milk and Cookies party. It was the easiest little gathering in the world to plan. The house is already looking festive and all you have to do as the host is provide the beverages (and clean your bathrooms).

It's a great way to see neighbors in the wintertime and an easy way to build community with the people you wave to nearly every day. This year Ivar helped me make invitations by watercolor painting the back side. Last year I just made ten phone calls and verbally invited everyone.

I wanted to throw this idea out there, because I have a feeling there are many of you readers who would totally be up to hosting something like this. And it's still early enough in the month to pull it off. Don't over think it. Just go build community! Eat cookies! And enjoy your neighbors!

hay bales and humble pie

Our field was baled this week and there was enough hay for two and a half jumbo bales. I cannot tell you how happy I was to have round bales in our field. There used to be a field on our drive to Nebraska that took my breath away every fall. It was full of hay bales, and every time I drove by on the interstate I would think, "I should risk my life sometime and pull over to get a picture."

Thankfully I never did that. But I still love a field full of bales. Even a field full of two bales...

This field has been a bit of a test in patience and has left us with great feelings of lack of control. You might remember we had to wait and wait and wait to get it planted in the first place. Due to a super late spring, super busy farmers and it's small size (four acres isn't enough to gain much interest) we had a terrible time finding someone we could hire to plant it for us.

Then when did find someone, we couldn't find the right seeds. So instead of alfalfa with oats as a cover crop we planted alfalfa and barley (on the seed dealer's advice). It wasn't cheap either (for the labor or the seeds). But we'd only have to do this once and the alfalfa would grow for 3-5 years, making a small sum with each cutting. A few days after it was planted we had major flooding in the area, and half of the seed ran to the corner of the field.

When it was time to harvest the barley, we were told it was too green. We were told to wait a few weeks. But weeks turned into months and we couldn't get the guy to come back and finish the job. If the cover crop wasn't removed it would smother the alfalfa next Spring.

It's funny to be in a place of utter dependence. It's not a common place to be. But this field left us with our hands tied. We don't have a tractor. We are smack in the middle of learning everything from scratch.

Luckily for us, we recently met a neighbor down the road who took pity on us. The same one who gave us his cattle's manure for our garden. In a last ditch effort, Rory stopped by, explained our predicament and asked for help. When he heard our sad song, he started working on our behalf. He sent his guy to come and cut the barley. Then he sent his son to come and rake the barley. And the third night his son came back to bale it. We're covering his costs and he's getting the hay bales... but we are so, so grateful for his help. So grateful!

Tonight our farmer friend came to get the two bales, he told us some terrible-but-somehow-fitting news that the barley should have been cut way sooner. In fact, barley shouldn't have been planted at all. Barley overwhelms other crops. He doesn't think the alfalfa has much of a chance to come back next Spring. He recommends tilling it all under, and starting over next year. It's too bad because we have spent so much money on this field. So much money. And we're going to start next Spring in the same place we started this year.

Except that we have learned a lot. And we have found a farmer friend who has been generous and kind.

Sometimes things don't go as planned. This field would be one of those things. But how adorable are these pictures? Worth a thousand bucks? 

We'll keep telling ourselves that.   

a lovely long weekend

We had an awesome thanksgiving weekend celebrating on Thursday with both my parents and Rory's whole family at Kyle and Lisa's (this is Kyle's awesome picture above). It was so great to have only one place to go and meant we got to partake in the "lay low" part of Thanksgiving. Lisa is an amazing host, and even had Ivar sitting at the kids end of the table with Elsie in between her two grandma's. Lisa Groves, I am thankful for you!

The rest of the weekend sort of took us by surprise. We hadn't planned anything for our long weekend which meant all sorts of things happened: I cleaned the garage a bit and then decided to paint more of the house. This time I went for the hall around the staircase and painted it red. In a last minute decision I decided to go up the wall with the red, and now I regret that. (Which means I will soon be going over the red with primer and then many coats of...antique white. So that's too bad.) We decorated the outdoors a bit and the indoors too. We drove to a quilt shop and an antique shop on Saturday and found some treasures. And tonight Rory was on a quest to make the perfect al dente spaghetti noodle. It took three tries, but he found perfection on pot number three. All in all, a great weekend.