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babies in the backseat


Annika is in town and it is awesome. It is crazy when you actually know you are living one of the sweetest seasons of your life. This is the season where my sister and I both have little babies about the same age. Dreamy. We have spent a lot of time together since she got here. I slept over at my folks last night for a sister slumber party, we brought our babies in their baby bjorns to the church garage sale so we could have our hands free to plow through the goods for sale, and you may have even spotted us walking our strollers around the minnesota zoo parking lot(admission is $16 for a non-member! We opted just to enjoy the sights and sounds and animals on the other side of the gate.)

I had a realization the first day Annika and I were together. I laugh deeper and harder with her than with anyone else on the planet. It’s a laugh that’s got roots that are 30 years old, and used when stories are told with acute details of people and events that have layers and layers of funny attached to them.

Well. I had been thinking about this. And then today, we went and made ourselves a memory that will go down in the record books of most hysterical moments of our lives. We’ll be telling and retelling this one to our kids and grandkids. It was a moment that could have been scary, but it never was. It was only funny. And it begins like this: Remember that time we locked the keys in the car at Noodles…with both of our babies inside?

Actually, it begins like this: We had just met Dad at Noodles for lunch. Dad drove back to the church and Annika and I went to the car. Ivar needed to eat and Annika needed to make a time sensitive phone call. So I fed Ivar in the passenger seat and Annika held Svea on her lap and used my cell phone to make her call. In a bit Ivar was full and Annika was off the phone. So we stepped out of the car with our babies, crossed behind the back of the car and put them in their car seats in the back seat. We buckled them in, and closed the doors to cross behind the car again to hop in the front seats, ready to take off.

And the strangest thing happened. After we closed the back seats and were crossing to the front seats we heard the car lock. Annika froze. “What just happened? They keys are on the dash board.” And sure enough, there were the keys, right next to my cell phone.

If the weather had been hot, or had the weather been cold, if the sun had been shining in their eyes, or if any of their needs had not been met in the last 20 minutes this could have been a terrible situation. But it was a 60 degree, cloudy day. And as we looked with horror through the back window of the Bonneville at our two babies trapped inside, they looked back at us with goofy, gummy smiles as if to say, “you mom’s are so silly!”

I started laughing. Uncontrollably. Thankfully, the big sister had a more helpful and practical reaction. She caught two men on their way into Noodles and used their cell phone to call the church, who then connected us to dad. Dad had a set of keys for mom’s car and he was on his way.

We waited for dad to come standing at the back of car, watching our babies watch us. And then we used the time for meaningful, soul searching conversation. “Is that a grey hair? Do you get grey hairs?” “Of course I do! I am 30. Wait, you have to pluck it out. You can’t just tell me I have a grey hair and not get it.” “No, it’s sort of lost in all of your hair.” “No, get it out. We have time.” And then my big sister picked at my hair like a mother monkey. Our babies kept their big eyes on us and the harder we laughed the bigger they smiled.

Dad’s grey Bonneville flew into the parking lot, braked at mom’s car. He flew out with his keys and Annika blurted, “Dad! How did this happen?” I’ll never be able to quite explain the look on Dad’s face. He was mystified. His daughters had locked their babies in the car, and he was being questioned as to how it happened. I fell apart. I don’t remember the last time I laughed so hard. And Annika too. Thankfully, Dad was there to actually unlock the car, rescue our keys and our kiddos and add some sanity to the situation. Annika and I were too far gone.

Dad left and we got in the car and laughed from that deep place that only comes out with my sister.

I took this picture just before we left for Noodles because I thought they were so cute together in the backseat of the car. Little did I know I'd have so much time to watch them in these seats.

forgiveness, part two

I just read a really helpful, really practical blog post by Donald Miller on forgiveness and recommend that you click this link and read it too.

I wrote about forgiveness a while back after having just felt the power of this mighty and God-given relational healer. Donald's post made me think of it and I was glad to go back and read it again. And then I came across my favorite part of The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis that paints a lonely picture of what our lives look like if we were to never use this healing power in our messy, human, hurting relationships.

When I read and reread these posts I was thinking that I'm actually in a season right now where I am not harboring anything. And it feels so good. But then I remembered yesterday. I was on the phone with a friend and something was said that felt like a slap. It wasn't meant to hurt, but in an instant it sucked the energy out of the conversation and I became short and clipped and ready to get off the phone. So I ended the conversation, but not before I let my change of temperature be very known.

I hung up, brooded for a while, felt every muscle in my body tense and then did something very, very rare. I picked up the phone and hit redial. And I named the entire thing. "Hey, I want to apologize because I just got short with you. When you said x, I felt...because... But then I got rude and impatient with you and that wasn't fair." The friend quickly replied, "Oh I know. The second I said it I knew it was heard wrong. I am so glad you called back." And we each forgave the other, me for what was said, she for how I treated her after it was said.

I hung up and my muscles relaxed and all I could hear, ringing in my ears was "And the truth shall set you free." It did. It always does.

happy birthday dad!

My mom and my sister did a switcheroo this week. Mom is in Montana with Mara and Sonna and Annika is back in Minnesota for a wedding. This meant that Dad got to celebrate his 67th birthday with his daughters and their babies. It was a sweet day of baby holding, Oprah viewing, blonde brownie eating and celebrating dad.

church garage sale



Just a heads up. This Thursday starting at 4:00, my home church, Shepherd of the Valley Lutheran in Apple Valley is having their annual church garage sale. It is ENORMOUS and all money raised goes to children in need (a collection of various charities, I believe).


Check out the website for more information: SOTV homepage. I adore garage sales (already been to a dozen or so this spring) but this one is really something else- entire rooms of the church are designated for sporting equipment, baby items, furniture etc... It's something to behold!

neighbors

I think the very best part about all of our back yard projects has been reconnecting with our whole neighborhood. We live on a very friendly street- actually, alley and street. And the neighbors are so excited to see what we're up to. Rory, Ivar and I went for a walk a few nights ago and never made it out of the alley. We stopped and talked to seven houses.

Oprah's last Oprah

On Wednesday, Oprah will air her show finale and my sister just happens to be in town for a wedding. If there is one person I'd like to watch the finale with, it would be Annika. We used to watch a whole lot of Oprah together growing up. So I sent her this personal evite and we've got a viewing date.

I haven't watched Oprah in ages, but I have been tuning in these last final episodes. Something about it actually does feel sort of momentous. No matter what you think of her, the woman has had a whole lot on influence.

Art Day

I got the greatest invitation from a crafty friend of mine. She asked if I wanted to join her art club and described it as something similar to a book club, but instead of reading books they gather monthly and get creative. I actually squealed at the computer when I got this thoughtful, super-fun invitation. I missed my first month because Ivar had a fever, but I was able to go this past month and took my first stab at mosaic.

The morning was fantastic...full of good food, good conversation and the time and space to try something new. One person hosts each month and chooses the project, sends a link to what we're going to make as well as a supply list of what we should bring. In this case, we brought our own pot, tiles and hot glue gun, but she supplied the grout and sponges. I loved doing a new project group-style. It felt less intimidating to try something new this way.

And you know the very best part? I didn't have to come up with some excuse as to why I didn't finish the book...

a message from cheerbear

Hi everybody,
My name is Cheerbear and I come from the land of Care-a-lot. The thing is, when you come from a place like Care-a-lot, you tend to care for other people. A lot. So imagine my worry when I heard that Mara, Becca's 6-year-old niece lost her dear Bedtime Bear while driving back to Montana from Minnesota! Word has it, they think it fell out of the car at a rest stop! Oh, how terribly sad for Mara! She misses that carebear a lot and feels especially sad at night. And who could blame her?

Now, I'm not worried about Bedtime Bear. We Carebears actually enjoy a change of scenery once in a while and find that a big move across the country can be quiet the awesome adventure. We're very happy wherever we are, because we have come to find that people are very good to us and we tend to make friends easily!

Anyway, when I heard that Mara is missing her dear Bedtime Bear, I came up with a plan. I bravely decided that just like Bedtime Bear is enjoying new surroundings at some truck stop somewhere in South Dakota, it might be time for me to go on an adventure to Montana.

So this week, I am going to travel to a land I've never been, called Montana. I can't wait. And Mara will be my new bedtime snuggler.

When I told my stuffed friends of my plans, Stuffed Squirrel just couldn't contain his excitement and begged that he be allowed to come along for sister Sonna. And you know, I'm so relieved to have a companion on my journey. Everything is more fun with a friend.

So this is goodbye, Becca's blog friends. I am off to the mountains, and hope dearly that one day I might return to Minnesota. But until then I'll be living the dream with Stuffed Squirrel.

Sincerely,
Cheerbear

lilacs

My favorite smell in the world is lilac. Our backyard is lined with nine lilac bushes and they fill the air with the strongest, most fantastic lovely smell.

I remember last year, Rory and I were taking a walk in Gretna and found a backyard filled with lilac bushes just like our place in Minneapolis. We were smelling the flowers when the owners of the home came outside. By the time we left their yard they invited us to come back with vases and scissors to cut our own bouquets. And we did. A couple different times over the next 10 days.

I think that is how lilacs should work...if you don't have your own, you should really find someone to make you a bouquet. And if you have a whole bunch, you should be responsible to share them with others. The blooming season is just so short, it should really be enjoyed by as many people as possible. Let me know if you need a lilac partner and I'll hook you up :)

motherhood, for me:

I have been trying to write a piece on motherhood for a few weeks now. I wanted to have something new on the blog for mother's day... sort of a reflective piece on 'life as a mom six months in..."

Turns out, I don't get as much time to write precisely because I am a mom. Also, everything I wrote felt accurate for some moods, and totally fictitious...depending on what kind of day it was. Yesterday I had a day that provided a bit of clarity for how I have experienced motherhood and I'd like to share this with you today.

***

I’m pretty sure I would sum up motherhood as a combination of two kinds of days. There are days when I feel like I've got it together, all plates are spinning in the air and I feel confident that I might just have this whole multi-tasking thing down. I walk around singing Chaka Khan's I’m every woman and enjoy a fridge full of food, the baby sleeping in his crib and the house looking clean and tidy. The laundry is clean and the dishes are done and the sunshine is pouring in through the windows. Right on the heels of those magical days come other days when I wonder if I could be any more disorganized, google recipes for what I can make with baking soda, A1 sauce and eggs that might be expired, do a double take to be sure those dust bunnies aren't actual bunnies and walk around the house singing Gnarls Barkley's I think I’m crazy.

Trouble is, when I wake up in the morning, there is no telling which song is waiting for me to sing.

For example, Friday I woke up ready for coffee with a group of women from church to celebrate a friend who is walking through a really challenging season. We were all supposed to bring something for her to enjoy, so the night before I baked chocolate chip cookies and found a few of my very favorite magazines, tied these gifts up with a lovely fabric ribbon, printed out the directions to where we were meeting and woke in time to get a shower in. I was about to leave my house with plenty of time to arrive right on time, directions in hand, feeling cute (read: showered) and I just may have been thinking proud thoughts like, “looks like someone’s got her act together.”

Checked my phone on the way out the door and the coffee had been postponed. It was a bummer, but Rory encouraged me to still use the time to do something by myself- he had Ivar.

The day was a great day. I went grocery shopping, bought birthday gifts for nieces and nephews and felt in control.

Fast forward to yesterday morning, the morning of the rescheduled ladies coffee.

I wake up and am not feeling super rested. The cookies that had been baked for last Friday have been consumed. No new cookies were baked. The magazines that were wrapped in a pretty ribbon were forgotten in the church nursery on Sunday morning. The directions for where I am heading were thrown away during a weekend cleaning.

I thought about taking a shower, but upon unzipping my son’s sleep sack, I realize that he is the one who gets to bathe this morning, as he is smeared in poo from the neck down. I have a flashback of me changing his diaper at 6 am and actually thinking, “I don’t need to keep my eyes open. Blind people change their baby's diapers all the time.” I regret not having opened my eyes during the changing as the diaper was only covering one butt cheek so that all of his poo snuck out the side, avoiding the diaper entirely. I made a mental note to leave blind diaper changing to the actual blind and to use my sight for all future diaper changes.

I call the church, and my friend Allie spots the magazines in the nursery right where I had left them.

As I leave the house, I am already late, though I still need to stop by the church to get my gift. I have not showered…in fact, I am sporting my glasses as there was no time for contacts. I carry no cookies and if we are really honest, I believe Rory and Ivar are probably relieved to see moody-me walk out the door.

The contrast between these two days is the very best way I can sum up what my new life is like as a mom. Some days I’m every woman, and other days I think I’m crazy. And yet, I have never in my life been so happy, been so hormonal, been so high, and been so humbled as I have while walking through this first year of motherhood.

Our Vegetable Garden

The weather turned nice in Minnesota and Rory and I hit the yard with wild abandon. We had been visualizing our game plan all spring-that-was-really-winter-still. So when the weather turned lovely, we got busy.

Rory worked on his raised bed vegetable garden and I planted a raspberry patch (more on that later). Ivar was a champ and either napped incredibly long naps or came out to kick it with us in the back yard. He is such a content kid.

Rory preps the ground for his raised bed.


One side of the frame is tarped to block topsoil weeds.



The finished frame.


Rory made his soil from scratch. He had to pick up bulk supplies from a garden wholesaler: compost (with manure of course), peat moss, and vermiculite.




The only way to mix the large quantities (almost 40 cubic feet) was rolling it around in a large tarp.


Rory followed a technique called Square Foot Gardening, where every crop gets planted in its own square. This lets him rotate the vegetables and stagger the harvest all summer long.
Next he'll plant lettuce, spinach, broccoli, squash, cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots, onions and potatoes.

morning snuggles


Ivar has been sneaking into our bed in the morning lately, unclothed and super cuddly. I don't know how he manages to get from his crib into our room, but it seems to be happening daily lately and might just be a new favorite time of the day for the rest of us. He's so soft and loves laying between us, moving his head from mom to dad back to mom and back to dad.

heaven is for real

Mom Groves gave us a book for Easter called ‘Heaven is for Real.’ The book is coming up in conversations all over the place, and after Rory finished I picked it up for my turn. I read it in two days and my reaction to the ending surprised me.

The book is about an almost 4-year-old who gets terribly ill and visits Heaven for three minutes. The story unfolds over the next few years as this little boy mentions things about Jesus and Heaven and his ancestors that he really could not have known unless he really was there. When I was half way through the book I told Rory that I was still skeptical, justifying everything he said and how he might have known such information without actually visiting heaven.

I’m not sure when in my adult-life I acquired my adult-like faith. But somewhere along the way I found this voice that wants to reason everything through, rationalize the possibilities and find intelligible ways to justify phenomenal things happening.

I read this book to the end, and I am changed. And I am shocked because my cheese-ball detector was so stinkin high while I read it. I was cynical, skeptical and guarded, but in the end I just felt sorry for myself. When did I lose my child-like faith? I believe in Jesus! Why is it hard for me to believe he is waiting to meet me face to face? I believe in Heaven! Why is it so hard for me to believe that I will go there with every other person who professes Jesus as their God, and that when I do, I will be reunited with my grandpa’s and grandma’s, Hildur, Karen Dwyer, Ed Solomonson, Andy Kingsbury, Marj Engebretson, great aunt Chrystal, great uncle Lawrence and Papa.

Something happened in my adult-like thinking that changed the way I saw heaven and Jesus. Heaven had somehow become this spirit-world filled with balls of light that were actually our souls and there we would just hover together, lights together, formless but bright. And Jesus would be the brightest light and God would be everywhere. And because Jesus and God and the Holy Spirit are triune, they’d just be one intermingled blobby thing radiating over all of us other spirit blobs.

How bizarre.

Through the retelling of this little boy’s experience, and the actual scriptural references to support the details he mentions to his family, I finally got back the faces and flesh to return to those blobby souls. I rediscovered a place I once believed in where Jesus himself will welcome me and then introduce me to my Heavenly Father. I will be reunited with my great cloud of witnesses, and I’ll recognize them and they’ll recognize me.

The thing this changes the very most, then, is that the great commission becomes so much more urgent. If we’re not just light blobs bouncing around (who knows where I had picked up this weirdo thinking!) but we are there, recognizable to one another, then there is a whole new sadness and grief in thinking of family or friends who do not know Jesus as the one who saved them from this selfish life of me, here, now. It makes me want to be so much bolder in how I share Jesus, eternity, salvation.

I remember a few months ago, Rory and I sat in church and watched over 30 immersion baptisms. It moved me to my core and later we shared a conversation about how good it is to remember that what we were witnessing that morning was real life. Everything else we fill our days with are mere distractions from the true call we have been given to seek the lost and share the good news that this world we have constructed all around us isn’t all there is. Thank God. Real life is still to come.

If you have an evening or two, grab yourself a copy of Heaven is for Real. Your cheesy detector may be high, but I believe through this little four-year-old, your thinking may very well be changed.

I worshiped this morning picturing the face of Jesus during every song, and all of the faces of the saints who have gone before me. I envisioned wings on my grandpa’s and I saw them cheering me on, yelling for me to get back in the game…to be courageous in my living. And then I envisioned my Heavenly Father, huge and great and powerful, and real.

I started saying “I believe you are real. I believe you are real. I believe you are real.” It was like I could breathe deeper. I feel something new starting to grow in me again. It’s been a long time since I felt that and it feels so good.

happy friday

Ivar's shirt says: Even my poop is cute. It's a favorite of mine, given to us by Tony, a college friend of Rory's. The onesie now fits Ivar and I find it well timed since Ivar is now eating rice cereal, fruits and veggies and his own poo has gone from that mellow unpopped-microwave-popcorn-smell to something much more potent. To say it kindly.