have you seen our bumper?

Last week I walked into CarTime and explained our situation, "Last Saturday during the blizzard, my husband went to Aldi and somehow lost half of our bumper. We're not sure how, but he thinks it may have happened right here on this frontage road. So I just wondered if you could give me a call if it ever turns up. Like when these huge snow piles begin to melt, maybe it's been plowed over and is under all this snow."

The guys working behind the counter looked at me and nodded a wee bit condescendingly.

"If we have to get a new bumper it's going to cost us $400. What a stupid way to spend $400, you know? I can think of lots of other ways I'd rather spend that money. So will you call me if anyone happens to see it? Here I'll write down my name and number for you."

I left, sort of embarrassed but more hopeful than actually embarrassed. It was worth a shot.

Next I drove to Aldi to do a week's worth of grocery shopping. I unloaded my entire cart onto the belt and told the girl working the register, "Three things. First, my last pineapple I got here was pretty awful. I don't need a new one, but can I just get that money returned?" "Absolutely. It will be a separate transaction. We'll take care of it at the end." "Great. Then my second question. Do you take checks?" "Nope. Just credit or cash." I panicked, "Oh my word. I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry. You have to stop scanning my food. We just cancelled my credit card because some guy in Florida ordered Boston Market with my card. I only have my check book." She was calm and kind, though not impressed with my Boston Market true story, "It's okay." I quickly problem solved, "Can I come right back and get my groceries? I could run home and grab my husband's card." She replied, "I'll just finish this transaction and put it on hold. You can come back later tonight and get your groceries. We'll hold your cart in the cooler." I was so impressed, "Wow. That's very helpful. Thank you so much." Then she asked, "And what was your third thing?"

I wanted to disappear as I said very ridiculously, "Oh. Well, we think we lost half of our minivan bumper here during the blizzard. Has anyone happened to turn it in?"