kid quotes

Most of these are Elsie Quotes, because she's four and that is the age that every kid should have a camera crew capturing their hilarious thoughts. Four year old quotes are way better than any sitcom.

Ivar: Mom, I would like to get that book about Space back from the library so you can draw a big picture of the planets and I can color it in.
Elsie: Mom. I don't want to learn about Space at all. I think it's very boring because it's just...a lot of space.
Me: What would you like to learn about, Elsie?
Elsie: Well, how the elephants helped get all the poop and pee off of the ark. (totally out of the blue...nothing had been discussed of this ever before.)

Ivar and I laughed a little too hard at her honest educational request. She was sad and ran away. But I still can't stop laughing.

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I told Elsie she needed to start eating more at mealtimes because her snacking is just not sustainable. She would snack all day long, and I can't be in the kitchen all day meeting her caloric needs. She said, "Mom! I am even hungry when I am eating!!! That is how hungry I am!"

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Hattie needed a quick bath after a spaghetti dinner. Rory said I could just hand her to him quickly while he took a shower so it wouldn't be so long of an ordeal. Hattie did not enjoy the 90 second experience at all, yelling, "all done! all done!" the whole time. Rory said he was ready to pass her off, and I was ready with a big towel. As soon as I had her in the towel she raised her hands and repeated with quiet crying relief, "Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah," glad that was over.

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And this one actually happened a few weeks ago, and I wrote it down immediately after it happened when Rory brought me a pen and my journal. I had just told him and he said, "please get that on paper." So here it is, straight from my journal.

Elsie came into the bathroom after they had been tucked in while I was in the bath. She stood on the step stool and looked at herself in the mirror and told me with great animation and exaggerated expressions, "Mom, for my 20 birthday I want to get my ears pierced because it will hurt like a shot but then I'll have sparkle jewels and then my hair will be to my knees like Laura Ingalls and I can take you shopping so you have something beautiful. And I'll wear one of your necklaces, probably not your white circle one (pearls) because that was your grandma's and very special to you, but probably this circle one with the sparkles because you'll probably have a new one. And I'll wear my bracelet from church and I'll be so beautiful because I'll be all jeweleried! And mom! We will paint our toenails because the polish will probably be off! So when I am (said quietly to herself 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20) nineteen we can paint our nails so that when I am 20 they are dry! And I would like you to paint your fingers because that is prettier. An you should cut your hair a little bit so it grows faster and longer down to your knees like Laura!"

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Elsie said, "Mom, when it is my birthday no one can cry or be mean or be sassy. Because that is my special day. They can only cry if they get really hurt, like bleeding and need a band aid."

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Elsie has a little wall art that says, "sisters make the best friends." She looked at it and said, "mom, look for a little sign on your computer to hang on my wall that says, "Brothers and Sisters make the jolliest of friends."