so long, farewell

You may have noticed I have been quite wordy on this blog during the last two weeks. But there's a reason for that...

So a very remarkable thing has happened to me. I never thought it would happen. I was certain it never would. But I have lost some zeal for blogging. And I'm as surprised as anyone. I thought for certain I would blog into my 80's, writing funny stories about my nursing home, telling about my fifty-year-old son, Ivar.

But right around January I began to wonder if I should keep this baby up. And immediately with the thought of ending my blog, my writing became really labored. For eight years I have whipped posts together with speed and joy, but it started to feel like something I had to get done.

I suppose part of it was the addition of a third child and trying to keep up with all the life that surrounds my every day. Margin time is sort of a lost reality with three...

And then there were a few kid stories that I thought about writing about, but because of all we know about the internet and how permanent this place is, I just decided not to. The kids are getting older, and many of their stories are not mine to tell.

But the thing that sort of sealed the deal was earlier this month when I made fried green tomatoes and I thought, "I should photograph these for the blog." And then I thought, "I wonder how many years I have staged pictures of my fried green tomatoes and written about them?!!" (Answer: 2011, 2013, 2014, 2015 I've been blogging about Fried Green Tomatoes for six years!)

Which just feels terribly redundant.

Plus, I'm about to embark on educating my children. Which is sort of a doosie of a commitment to heap onto my day-to-day life.

So I prayed about it and felt a sincere release. I really did, and that is my main reason for concluding this long-running public journal.

I'm sad though. Even though I know this is good and right for this season of life, I am going to miss it. I print each year that I blog into a book and have loved this avenue for documenting my life in stories. (Anyone remember when the blog was called that? Back in Nebraska!) This place for writing and sharing our life has been such a gift to me. I've always said I would write even if it was just for my own family, but the truth is the love and connection I have always felt because of this blog has been a sweet spot in my life. I have LOYAL readers. I have blogged for eight years come September 21st, and have so many of you who have read every word! Eight years is no small amount of time, and I am grateful and in awe of all of the love and friendship that has come of this little blog.

I have told a few people about this turn of events, trying to get a feel for how I should close it. My dad said, "well don't just be done. Say you'll reassess in January in case you want to return. Or that you may jump on once in a while if something really eventful happens." But that's the tricky part. If I leave that door open, I'll still feel the need to put something up here once in a while. And it's that feeling I'm trying to let go of.

I will say that my friend Shannon brought up The Grovestead Blog and asked if I'd start contributing over there, maybe just a quarterly update on what's going on inside the farmhouse.  I loved that idea. To write a post four times a year giving a little life update for anyone still interested. So that's the plan. Rory will continue to update that blog and post on instagram. (I'm not on instagram anymore...I get super compulsive with any social media platform...)

And I won't be a stranger. Maybe Dad is right and come January I'll be dying for an outlet again. But we'll see. Until then, it's going to be quiet around here, so drop me an email sometime. I'll still be here, organizing my house, learning how to roast lamb chops, reading more lovely LM Montgomery books, playing in my kitchen garden, teaching my kids how to read and doing it all very joyfully.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for caring for my family and checking in on our adventures. Thank you for all of the emails of encouragement and your faithful friendship. I do believe God is in this decision, and I do believe something new and different will likely surface after a while. I believe in a God of resurrection and that he makes all things new. I will be eager to see what new thing he is doing here.