All night long I had a back contraction about every hour or so. It was sort of lame. I knew things were starting up, but it wasn't all that intense. We were planning for a home birth (another story for another day!) so Rory inflated the birthing tub. But things were so slow we didn't fill it with water. In fact, we woke up in the morning and things felt so relaxed that we decided to take the kids to preschool. Upon seeing the tub in living room Ivar happily danced around, pleased that there was a swimming pool in our house. And Elsie crawled behind the couch and cried and cried. She knew her world was about to change in a mighty way...
It was letter D week at preschool so I told the kids they could bring in one of mama's "duh, duh, diapers" and they respectfully declined. They went to school and one of our midwives came over and checked me and told us what we should be looking for as our next step.
Rory got the kids Happy Meals after he got them from school and then my mom came and picked the kids up to take back to their house which left Rory and I in our house alone. And it was really nice. And quiet. We had already walked our road in the morning, and then decided to take another walk to the apple trees. But once there we decided to walk into the harvested soybean field and in the end we walked about a mile to the end of the field and found a big rock by a pond and then a mile back to our house. It was so lovely and peaceful. We were so excited for all that was to come. This walk felt like a little baby moon for us...it was sweet to have such a long and peaceful day to prepare for all that was ahead.
When we got home we remembered the acorn squash we had left in the oven. And we were glad we didn't burn our home down just before our home birth.
Rory went to Cub to get some groceries and later that night we got into a fight. Looking back I'd say we both had reasonable arguments. And that we were getting a bit stressed out that things weren't moving along. I think our fears were coming out sideways...at each other. In the end, we watched more interviews with the Back to Eden gardening guy that we like so much. I slept fairly well again. Just waking every hour or so with a back contraction, but nothing unbearable. And I was ready for unbearable.
We woke on Tuesday morning a bit more annoyed that things hadn't progressed overnight. We had passed the 24 hour mark with my broken water and there were no signs we were moving forward. I called our midwives again and the other midwife came to check the position of the baby. She told us that the baby was malpositioned, face up, fist under its chin, elbow extended out and still way up in the birth canal. The midwife explained that the baby was not on my cervix, which is what really causes to contractions to get going. Contractions were what would help get the baby into position. But without the baby being in position the contractions wouldn't start. We were in a holding pattern.
Given the amount of time my water had been broken it seemed best to go and get contractions started with pitocin at the hospital. And truly I was relieved. We had hoped to have this baby at home, but I had always said if we ended up at the hospital then that was exactly where we needed to be. And so we packed a suitcase and got in the car.
But it was so confusing. We really felt like we had been called to home birth. It's hard to explain but through so many confirmations I felt nothing but peace and excitement to have the baby at home. We had thought we were doing the right thing. And now we were left doubting if we had heard right or not. This is a tricky place in faith...when you step out and are left unsure.
What we didn't know was that we were right in the middle of a bigger plan, and that getting us to the hospital was going to be very important in the end. But sometimes when you're in the middle of your story, it's hard to understand why things are happening the way they are happening...
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