the secret sauce to friendship

(This picture has nothing to do with this post, but I didn't get a single shot from Saturday night, and we did eat this raspberry pretzel dessert...so it will just have to do!)

I had a group of friends come over on Saturday night who brought greek food for a picnic dinner, unloaded and loaded my dishwasher, brought all the goods for a foot soak and pedicure and brought three hours of awesome, thoughtful conversation. It was dreamy.

These are friends I made while attending Cedar Valley Church in Bloomington. We were in a small group together from when I was pregnant with Ivar to when I was pregnant with Elsie. Sometime this past winter the mom's of the group started meeting up on one Friday night a month, me driving from the country meeting up in their neck of the woods. Their small group expanded and now there are seven of us who are either currently in or used to be in this small group.

We loved these friends when we were with them formally in the small group. But we were still at the infancy stages of relationship. We watched videos together and had spirited conversation. And we got to know each other. We ate good treats, walked through job transitions, laughed a lot and started building a friendship.

But it wasn't until we mom's met that first Friday night, just this winter, that I realized something huge about how friendships are formed. I was telling the story of how Ivar didn't care to walk until he was 18 months and how hilarious it was to have him three times the size of the other babies in the infant nursery at church because he couldn't graduate to the toddler nursery. Not until he walked. Which he was in no hurry to do. Finally he took his first steps...

And then someone broke into my story and reminded me, "we know. we were there!" And it's true. Ivar took his first steps at our small group. Surrounded by a group of adults in the youth room at our church, he walked clear across the rug right into our arms. And everyone cheered. It was epic!

I stopped telling my story, and was struck dumb with how awesome it was that these people remembered that milestone from years earlier, that I hardly remembered myself. And now, three years later, and (between us the seven of us) TWELVE kids later, we are still celebrating the milestones of one another. The secret sauce to these friendships is longevity. Time. Time together, shared experiences. Memories made even when I didn't know we were making them.

Saturday night will go down as another. The night they drove all the way to my farm to celebrate baby #3, to bring dinner, do my dishes, eat sour patch kids and raspberry pretzel dessert, to pray over me for my labor and delivery, and to pamper me. We'll add tonight to our list of shared memories and in time we will build more and more.