a day in the life

At 9:00 this morning I decided I was going to get the kids out of the house and head to the zoo. At 9:48 we were loaded in the car and driving down our lane. At 10:30 we arrived at the zoo, and by the time we put our coats in a locker, found the mini-potty for everyone to "just try" it was announced that the 11:00 bird show would be starting shortly.

We had a huge owl swoop over our heads and the kids were mesmerized the whole time. When the show was over we went to the cafeteria where we got 20% off today because it was member day. I got Elsie chicken strips, which was a huge mistake because upon seeing Ivar's corn dog she suddenly realized that's what she actually wanted. Ivar insisted on helping pump the ketchup into our ketchup cups and together we ate our lunch with all the other moms and tots who decided they had to get out of their house today.

It was as we walked up towards the tropics trail that I started listening to the words coming out of other mom's mouths. I first heard one mom, "nope. you said you wanted to bring it in, so you need to carry it." And I wondered how many times those words have been said aloud. Then I heard another, "You need to change your attitude. Because the rest of us are having a nice time and you are the one choosing to have a bad day." Towards the top of the ramp I heard another mom say, "we're going to go to the bathroom first, just to try." I had just said those words myself an hour earlier.

We walked towards an enormous sand box, set up for just the last week and I saw a dad pick up his kid and wrestle the boy's socks and shoes back on telling him it was time to head home for naps.

I ran into friends at the sandbox and sat with them on a bench where we discussed cathartic topics like how much we loathe cleaning the kitchen after every meal. Then we moved on to how little motivation there ever is for bath time. Because it is a fight to get the kids in the tub and then a fight to get them out again.

I want you to know I am not writing any of this in a foul mood. In fact, today I felt downright amused. Encouraged, even. Today I felt a sweet kinship with every other parent at the zoo, and it made me feel very much validated. We're all saying the same things. We're all working really hard to raise good, awesome kids. We're all just as impatient and dog tired as the next person.

I got our coats out of our locker and went to buy the trail mix Ivar had been asking for since we arrived. We were in the cafe area just in front of the penguins when Ivar tripped on my shoe and his trail mix went flying across the floor. And the boy came unglued. He threw a tantrum bigger than I have ever seen. There was rolling and screaming and inconsolable crying. From my end there was comforting words, then firm words, followed by angry words and then threatening words. In the midst of it, Elsie kicked my mocha on the floor, spilling half onto the carpet, and a nice dad came and set it upright for me. The whole while there was an older couple with no grandkids that actually turned in their chairs to watch. That's not in my head. They just starred. And I realized the absurdity of the moment, how we were one hour past nap time and that this whole episode had very little to do with m&m's on the carpet and much more to do with an overtired little boy. But it was epic. Ivar finally pulled it together, Elsie announced that she had to go potty and as we left I said to the couple, "you didn't know you were getting coffee and a show, did you?" And they sort of smiled sort of not.

And we left to find the mini-potty.

Again, none of this is written in anger or embarrassment or shame. I'm just amused at all the work and patience and care that goes into parenting. We got home and Ivar got the chills on the couch. He's got a fever, aches all over and now I've got a sick boy up in his bed. No rest for the mama. When I tucked him in I said, "Buddy, you have to sleep. Sleep is the way your body heals so you can feel better." And I wondered how many parents have said those words to their own kids.