is there a book inside you?

We've had this book on our bookshelf since were were married. Rory remembers buying it when he was in high school. I've thumbed through the pages but mostly answered the title. Is there a book inside you? Me? Are you talking to me? Why, yes. Thank you for asking. Yes there is.

I've always known this. I love writing. And I've always had the desire to find the discipline to write an entire book. The hang up was that I never felt I had anything unique to add to the mix. I have lots of stories. Lots of story material. But I knew it wasn't a book. A few years ago I decided to table the idea of writing a book until I had something to say. (That was a smart idea!)

This year at the Groves' Family Christmas my brother-in-law, Kyle, asked me if I thought I'd ever write a book. I told him I thought I would one day, but for now I didn't know what I'd write about. And I'm not sure how it snowballed, but soon most of the adults were discussing one idea I had mentioned and the conversation gained momentum and I got excited. My father-in-law brought up something that felt like the clincher to bring the whole thing together. We drove home that night and I knew I finally had something to say.

(I'm going to pause here for a minute to flat out apologize for being so vague. Because I'm not actually going to tell you what the book is going to be about. I'm afraid if I do, I steal my own thunder and write a blog post about my book, instead of the book itself. That's probably super annoying, but hopefully it is super motivating for me to write the thing and super inspiring in the end when you read the thing. But again, I apologize.)

A few weeks after the Groves' Christmas conversation I brought something up at ECFE that sort of summarized the idea behind this book and after a friend wanted to talk some more. As we talked I mentioned that I want to write about this and she was so encouraging. The ideas felt original to her and she was so excited that I might write them out formally.

I went home that day, gave the kids lunch and put them down for quiet play time and nap time and then sat on the couch and wrote out the entire outline for such a project. I had nine chapters. I had subtopics. I had illustrations plugged in. I have had this book inside of me for a long, long time.

The reason I am writing about all of this at all is because I think it's going to affect my blogging. It actually sort of has to. I've got little margins of time during my day and I'm realizing that if I'm going to pump this sucker out, I will have to stop blogging so regularly. Which is a bummer, but hopefully will lead to actual pages in your hand in the near future. I would imagine, just knowing myself and my blog, that I won't be able to stay away for any serious long stretches, but if I do go missing, I would love your prayers that I would write something worthwhile, helpful and heartfelt. (And then be sure to keep tabs on Rory. From possums to hatching eggs, he'll keep you entertained...)

I have given myself a little six month deadline. It's totally doable. The book is written in my head. At night I wake up and write entire sections in my head. Rory told me I probably need to start getting out of bed and writing them down when they're feeling fluid and inspired. I might start doing this, but I also am trusting that when I sit down with an hour to write, God will give me focus, clarity and confidence to write the words that need to be written in that window of time.

I'm so excited. Can you tell? I have a strange and awesome confidence going into this project because I know this book is supposed to be written. I would love your prayers for focus and to see this baby through. I am anticipating that at some point this confidence and excitement will turn into insecurity and heaviness, so pray against that. I'm announcing this project as a means of accountability. Pray that I see this book through to its completion.

I've got a book inside of me! And it's busting to get out!