scheduled spontaneity

As we drove away from the strawberry patch on Saturday morning, Rory asked if I wanted to take a country drive with the kids. I was thrilled. Rory has been wanting to show me a small town he had recently driven through telling me many times how stunning that area was. So we started driving. I had the camera in my hand and took some pictures out the window as we drove. And sometimes we stopped and got out to take a picture or two.

And all the while our kids ate strawberries.

While driving home we stopped in a small town for burgers. Our meal was awesome and the day was pretty near perfect. The kids were in great moods and we were too. It felt like we were completely on vacation, except that we were within 30 minutes of our home. It was just that great of a morning.

It was during lunch that Rory commented that he had figured something out about us. We have sort of a constant struggle with spontaneity versus scheduling. I tend to want more spontaneity in my life, whereas Rory is a bit more calculated. Often I'll say, "let's go to Ikea!" And then he'll say, "Now? And I'll say, "Yes!" And he'll say, "It's 4:30. It will be 5:30 when we get there and Elsie goes to bed at 6:30. We won't get home until 7:30 or 8. The kids will fall apart long before we get home." And I'll say, "Why do you never want to do anything fun? Ever?" And he'll say, "I just don't want to go to Ikea tonight. Maybe we could go earlier in the day on Friday." And I'll say, "I wish you were more spontaneous." (end scene.)

So I nearly gave him a high five when he remarked that he thinks spontaneity happens when we schedule things. In other words, if we schedule more activities, more outings the spontaneity will follow. As it happens, Saturday morning was wide open until 1:00. We had planned to go strawberry picking, but what we did after that time was spontaneous.

I think this is going to work for us. I think we cracked the code.

I mean, it's not perfectly spontaneous to schedule ones spontaneity. One might even remark that they sort of cancel each other out. Oxymorons, I believe. But this is marriage and marriage is all about give and take and better understanding how the other operates and this solution does feel like a pretty equal mix of both of our personalities. And based on the awesomeness that was Saturday, I'll take it.

I'd end this post there, but there is one other factor that is harder to plan. And it's this: it seems that some days are destined to be awesome and other days are destined to be...not awesome. Have you experienced this before? Saturday was a day where nothing could go wrong. And it didn't. It just kept getting better. The day was bliss. But we've lived other days that we just can't get a break. Nothing goes right. Moods are sour and never turn better. Unplanned things come and thwart the day and no matter what, you can't really get your train back on track. We've had enough of these days to know that you can't really fight it. Sometimes on these sour days, I think it might just be best to go home and call it a day.

I don't believe there is a solution to remedying these rough days, other than recognizing that they happen too. That you can't force a magic morning, but you can fully enjoy it when it comes along. And on Saturday it did come along, in the form of scheduled spontaneity.