We drove home from Thanksgiving and got all fired up to spend the next day decorating the house. We talked excitedly to Ivar about putting lights on the chicken coop, setting up all of the nativity sets and hanging the advent calendars on the wall.
We went to bed and woke up the next morning and I was in a terrible mood. Just crabby. Rory was ready to hit it, but I was annoyed that the kitchen had been hit by a bomb. I wanted to take half a day to clean the house before we added more stuff to it. And then I said, "what I'd like to do is rearrange the furniture in the living room, but if we do that, I really should just paint the walls when we have the china hutch moved out in the middle of the room. And if we do that, then we really shouldn't hang anything on the walls yet, until the walls are painted and we know where everything is going."
At this point Rory told me he'd be outside hanging the christmas lights on the chicken coop.
He walked outside and I heard what I had just said. I decided to take a timeout. A timeout for me includes a cup of coffee and putting my contacts in. I took a few moments, let the caffeine hit my system and realized I wasn't up for moving furniture either.
The miraculous part of the day is that it actually turned around. Rory came back in the house and I told him I had uninvited Crabby Becca to our Friday. I introduced him to Caffeinated Becca and it worked. She was much nicer and we actually had a second start to our day.
That, and I completely lowered my expectations realizing we couldn't do everything I wanted to in my head. I had Ivar play happily with all the decorations from one bin while I cleaned my kitchen and got a handle on my house. I was completely able to join back in the merriment.
It's funny the way life actually plays out sometimes. The vision you have in your head versus the reality of the moment. You don't ever see bad moods on Pinterest. I was thinking about Friday's events while we unwrapped our tree tonight. We had planned on getting it with Mark and Kathy again on Monday, but the forecast is supposed to be terribly cold, and we each have little kids. The awesome idea of cutting our own tree and the reality of freezing temperatures and blowing snow just didn't match up this time. So Rory went out tonight....by himself...and bought a tree at Menards while I gave the kids a bath. It's not a super inspired story, but it's real life. And the tree is beautiful.
Anyway, I think I'm writing all of this to say that I believe I am actually making progress in letting things go. Pinterest can set the bar pretty high. And some of those things are possible, but not all of those things are possible. And sometimes the heightened expectations can turn a girl into a monster. But what I'm learning is that the girl still has control over the monster and can reset her ideals in order to make a much happier home.
5 comments:
We bought our tree at Menards last year and plan to again this year! Great tree, great price and like you said two kids! No way we are cutting a tree with two little ones. . . . Enjoy the evergreen smell in the house! Oh, and my house doesn't have one Christmas decoration in it yet. :)
little steps! little steps. that's what i keep reminding myself!
congratulations you're on top of what you see, (in yourself!)! that is so great because
until we see it, not much we can do.
love your posts...they are so inspirational for me (and i am 75yrs old!! [Yikes! that can't be!] and still learning!)
Oh Becca Dear, I cleaned the kitchen and made hot chocolate while everyone else decorated the tree and put out the nativity sets, and I was wondering why I wasn't being more jolly and family-ish. But you said it. With kids, you just do what you have to do. And it's ok. And when they're all a little older, you start to feel more energetic and inspired and jolly family-ish. I remember; it did happen to me the year before Elowen was born and everyone else was above toddler age. So thanks for putting it out there that I'm not the only one who feels this way!
Thank you, Becca! This is just what I needed to hear this morning. It makes me feel like I'm in good company because I too struggle with aligning the plan in my head with the reality of the day. And quite honestly, when I listen to that still small voice in my heart that tells me to just stop my agenda and snuggle on the couch with my kids and a big pile of books, I'm soooo much happier and so is the rest of my family!
YES, YES and YES! Thank you for this good reminder to us all, and for a window into normal life for us with kiddos!
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