growing up

We tucked Ivar into bed after a fun third birthday, telling him about the day he was born, telling him how much we like to be with him and how proud we are to be his parents. We went down to watch a movie, but paused it when we could hear him crying up in his bed. I went into his room and he sadly lamented, "I don't want to be three. I want to be two. Not three."

The only way I could get him to calm down was to tell him he could be two again.

I had my own coming of age this month when, for the first time in my life, I liked refried beans. What on earth? All my life I have been grossed out by this poo-mush and now I really like it. I had a similar reaction when I first started liking blue cheese...sort of a disbelief that I could be getting that old.

Listening to Ivar cry made me wonder why the passing of time seems to come with such dread. Time goes so fast...we can't believe it's already bla-ti-bla month, we can't believe bla-ti-bla season is already over. We can't believe our kid is already three. And he can't believe it, either.



Andrew Peterson has an awesome song about the passing of time called Day by Day. The link will let you listen to the song...but I've copied most of the words here:

And everybody's so surprised
When right before your very eyes
Your baby's in the second grade
You blink and it's her wedding day

And we just can't get used to being here
Where the ticking clock is loud and clear
Children of eternity
On the run from entropy

Well, you have never met a single soul
Who didn't feel the curse's toll
Who didn't wish that death would die
Maybe that's the reason why

And it hurts so bad
But it's so good to be young
And I don't want to go back
I just want to go on and on and on

So don't lose heart
Though your body's wasting away
Your soul is not
It's being remade
So don't lose heart
Don't lose heart
Your body will rise and never decay
Day by day by day

I have been remembering a great truth at random times lately: I am a child of eternity. My body will rise and I will live forever. Usually I only think about my eternal life when attending a funeral. Or on Easter. It's easy to get caught up in our day to day so that the very point of why we are walking through each day can be completely missed. And forgotten.

When I forget that I am a child of eternity then I feel sad about time passing me by. And anxious about loved ones aging. Even watching my one-year-old take her first steps leaves a little lump in my throat because now she's a toddler. Not a baby. And you can never go back.

But I'm looking the wrong direction when I'm thinking these thoughts. Because when I remember that I am made to live forever...that my body will rise one day and that my work on earth is a sweet moment on my way to my eternal home, then I have fire in my bones. Then I want to run this race marked out for me. Then I want to take every moment I have with that little baby-now-toddler and train her up in the ways she should go. Suddenly I have an eternal ending that makes obvious the work to be done during the fleeting days ahead.

So don't lose heart
Though your body's wasting away
Your soul is not
It's being remade
Don't lose heart
Your body will rise and never decay
Day by day by day