a great big blank canvas

                                                                image from google images

A few months ago I was at the obgyn and pointed out a lump I have in my armpit. The doctor kept an eye on it from visit to visit and after another 6 or 8 weeks it had noticeably grown. So she sent me across the street to the hospital for an ultrasound immediately that afternoon. I just had a few hours to wonder and get really curious. She seemed concerned, but I refused to get really worried until I had all the information.

Still...in those hours I did wonder how I would react if I got some crazy-bad news. You know, the sort of day dreaming you did when your parents were late coming home from a meeting at church on a snowy winter night and you were able to take that situation all the way through the fatal car accident that left you orphaned and alone. And you may or may not have had tears streaming down your face while your imagination ran wild.

Or was that just me?

So in this scenario, I wondered, if I got news with a timeline that told me I had months to live, what would I do. It's a good question to ask from time to time anyway, just to see how fully we're living out our days. But in this moment, the question held a bit more weight. And honest to goodness, sitting there in my paper smock in the ultrasound waiting room, looking out the window at the tree blowing against the glass, I had one clear thought: I would go to Dick Blick, buy a HUGE canvas, every color of acrylic paints, a variety of brushes and I would paint something really big and colorful.

It made me smile. This honestly is my dream. Not a trip to Bora Bora. Not a chance to meet famous-celebrity-whats-her-name. But to use a lot of thick paint on a great big canvas.

My appointment proved to be very uneventful (praise God) and I left with a clean bill of health. With this good news, I got in my car and drove straight over to Dick Blick. You know, to price check my dream. Turns out, my greatest life's dream might run me around $100, depending on how much paint, how big of a canvas, and how many brushes.

Not too shabby to make a life dream come true.

So for Mother's Day I asked for a huge canvas and some acrylic paints. And tonight we are going to Michaels (because I've been price shopping and have a 40% off coupon) to purchase a large canvas, paints and brushes. I can't wait. I'll be sure to show you my masterpiece when it feels presentable. It might take a lot of paint to get it presentable...