four months ago

Four months ago I met a happiness I had never known. He came in the form of a little boy, and he is absolute pure joy.

Dear Ivar,
You are four months today and growing bigger and bigger. I can’t get over how much you have learned lately. In the past two months you have gone from involuntary movements with your arms to sloppy attempts in reaching, to grabbing with confidence and success. I was so amazed at how quickly this progression occurred.

You make the funniest sounds. When we tickle your belly, you lift your legs to your chest and grunt a loud guttural grunt. When you are excited and proud you inhale a lot of air tightly in your throat and make a sort-of bull frog sound. You talk and babble all day long. And smile all the time. all. the. time. When your auntie Lisa babysat you on Saturday morning she texted us and wrote “ridiculously happy kid.” We loved getting that text.

Your sleep schedule is pretty great. We were trying to self-adjust your long stretch of sleep and just threw that plan out the window. You are good and letting us know what you need, and we’re taking your cues. Lately you will sleep for 10-12 hours, waking up only twice. We feel very, very fortunate. And way better rested.

You have decided to reject the pacifier. Bummer. But instead you enjoy trying to eat any part of your hand and we can hear you slirping and smacking in your crib long before you officially let us know you are awake each morning.

You can now roll over! Fully, on your own. For a while you had a pesky arm that held you up, but somehow that arm is no longer an obstacle. So with this new trick, gone are the days of laying you on the couch or the bed or the ottoman. If I am going to multitask then you have to be on the floor.

I had a friend come over recently and you had just woken up from a nap and for the very first time, you played shy. It melted my heart. You buried your head into my shoulder and peeked out with a little grin until you were more awake. But I will never ever forget that moment of realizing that I am your safe place.

Your neck and abs are super strong. When I put you in your car seat, you try to sit upright. And will try for a long, long time. I am impressed at the strength this must take, especially since you’re harnessed in! You like your exosaucer and play gym lately. It’s so fun to watch you learn and discover.

I think the thing that I love the very most about you right now is how you make other people smile. You smile and grin at everyone and seem to have a knack at day brightening. There are ladies who try to sit by us each Sunday in church so they can watch you during the service. You are quite the charmer.

Love you so much, baby boy.