This past Sunday, on father's day, we had an open mic time at our church, where people could stand up and tell about their dad. There were lots of powerful stories, but mixed in were a good number of people who didn't have a prize-winning dad. A few who had complete absent fathers. They talked about other men in their life who filled that role.
I sat there and thought about how fortunate I am to have the prize-winning kind. And then I realized that Dad was also that "that other man" for lots and lots of kids at our church, fulfilling their need for a positive male role model. When I was in high school, I remember dad going to other kid's soccer games, dance recitals, band concerts. He may have done that when I was younger too, I just don't remember. He had two bulletin boards in his office...one with family pictures and the other completely cluttered with pictures of kids from our congregation. And when I think about it, most of those kids did not have a father. But he'd keep special trinkets in his desk for them and they would seek him out every Sunday for some love and attention.
I give you, Paul Harrington, my dad:
1. How would you describe your style as a dad?
pretty laid back. give the kids lots of love and affirmation. encourage them often. let them know how important they are to the family circle. pray for them daily. set boundaries early on so they come to understand that certain actions can have consequences. teach them to set good goals. help everyone in the family to respect and care for each other. such lessons serve them well as they grow older. hope and pray that they find good mates for life.
2. What resources or who in your life was/is the most helpful in giving
sound parenting advice? my parents, although they had very different styles. Dad was the authoritarian and Mom was the nurturer.
3. Was there a specific part of being a dad that challenged you and your
confidence in being a cut out for this?
not really. i always thought i could the job. my problem was being so busy as the church. Margaret did a lot of the good work for me as a parent but i think i was always there for the really imporant moments in their lives.
4. What is your favorite part of being a dad?
being so very proud of all that the 3 kids have accomplished.
5. Do you have a favorite story or quote from one of your kids?
Mat telling Becca she was an experiment child from Mars, and if she told margaret or me that she knew she was from Mars the experiment would be over and she'd be sent back to her mother planet. Mat confessing that he had stuck the cat's tail up the vacuum cleaner's suction tube. Also, Becca's trauma being told that Little Bo Peep was Little Boy Peep. what a crock! or Becca getting us home from vacation because she had brought a bunch of change. Annika wanting a huge gum ball from a machine which turned out to be a bright red rubber ball... i could go on and on... it was all such a blast!!
6. If you were to go back, and start your season of parenting all over again, what would you tell yourself?
i really would not change very much. you kids were a delight form start to finish.
7. Any words of advice or thoughts you want to pass along to Rory?
just know that this little kid is going to change almost every aspect of your life for awhile. but the adjustments are worth all the time and effort they require. you guys will make great parents!!
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Stay tuned for tomorrow's words of wisdom from one of the Groves Gentlemen.
1 comment:
Your dad is an amazing man - and father!! You are very blessed!
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